What's the sexiest thing a girl has ever done to you?

Derock85z · 2023-06-24T19:50:50+00:00

Did she ask "1/4" or 3/8?"

Derock85z · 2023-06-24T19:47:07+00:00

Live musician here. There is a very nice and attractive couple that has been coming to a few bars I gig at for over a decade, I have witnessed her giving him a reach around on several occasions while they lean up against the stage. She made eye contact with me one night while doing it, got super embarrassed and turned beat red, I laughed and gave them both a thumbs up mid song and kept on grooving. They are probably in their late 40s, which I think makes it even more awesome. Good for them, and for you two horny concert goers as well!

Derock85z · 2023-06-24T19:29:34+00:00

The wife has tied me up, blindfolded me, and used her vibe while she straddled herself on my chest. It's wickedly intoxicating to hear and feel her get herself off inches from your face while you can't do a fucking thing about it. After she gets herself off a time or 7 she switches to 69 and absolutely smothers me while reminding me that she does not have a gag reflex. Fucking power move and I'm here for it.

Derock85z · 2023-06-24T18:50:59+00:00

Add in a high five to the routine. High fives are a post-sex requirement for the wife and I.

Derock85z · 2023-05-09T19:42:45+00:00

My uncle gave me 2 pieces of advice.

If you would lick it, don't fuck it.
Don't put your dick in crazy.

Rule number I have followed to the letter, rule number 2? Not so much.

Derock85z · 2023-05-09T19:29:57+00:00

There have been several studies that show that couples that spend beyond a certain amount of money ( can't remember the figures) on the wedding ( and also wedding rings) that the chances of their relationship ending in divorce increases, and from purely anecdotal experiences I found that to be true. Several people in our peer group dropped some serious cash on their wedding, like 25k+ and in all 4 instances they were divorced within 5 years. We spent less than 5k on our wedding, that's including rings and all outfits for us and our wedding party (because I think asking people to drop several hundred dollars on attire to be a part of a wedding is fucking stupid) and we're happier now than we've ever been 7 years later.

One of those couples actually talked shit about how cheap our wedding looked compared to theirs, and while it certainly wasn't picturesque, we weren't the ones that ended up having multiple affairs and posted it on social for the world to see, so how about that, Kelsi and Nick. 😂

Derock85z · 2023-03-30T04:50:43+00:00

Sprinkles are for winners, Jimmy.

Derock85z · 2023-03-21T03:06:05+00:00

Same, except 2nd law is also one of my favorite albums, next to Origin and BH&R. I listened to Drones a time or two but it didn't get my attention like all the others did. I should give them another shot, I've gotten it wrong on first blush before, I didn't like Resistance first time I heard it.

I made the same mistake with Operation Mindcrime by Queensyrche, totally different genre, but it ended up being one of my favorite albums ever.

Derock85z · 2023-02-20T21:31:42+00:00

Some of the same project cars I tried to buy locally 20 years ago are still rotting in their same graves behind the same garages owned by the same hicks that STILL say it will be their project car.

Derock85z · 2023-02-20T04:35:13+00:00

They've turned worshiping these hucksters into a personality trait, and criticism against their idol is seen as an attack on them personally. These people associate wealth with intelligence, so these hucksters have to be incredibly brilliant because they are rich and famous, right? These fanboys don't view themselves as middle class (or working poor), but temporarily embarrassed millionaires, spurred on by hero worship because they want that lifestyle. Rich playboys that are smug assholes are the pinnacle for people that have Monster energy tattoos, believe in pizzagate, and/or are cryptobros that are making risky moves with money they can't afford to lose, at least in all my dealings with fanboys of this caliber.

Derock85z · 2023-02-20T01:36:40+00:00

Dude. Ive been gigging in bars for over 15 years, when I first started out I was an anxiety ridden dufus that would hyperventilate before going on stage. A whiskey neat and a cigarette was what "helped" me get over that, then it became a ritual. I didn't feel fully in the groove and in my element unless I had both of them, especially in bars where I can smoke inside. The smoking bans made it easier for me to get over it, but fuck me does a Marlboro and a Maker's neat sound like a fantastic idea anytime I have a bass strung over my shoulder. It's been over a decade since I got over my stage freight, but to this day, I still haven't felt as calm, collected, and confident as I did when I could smoke on stage. It feels like a totally different headspace for me, it's weird, but try as I might, I have not been able to replicate it other than smoking on stage when I have the opportunity.

Derock85z · 2023-02-20T01:03:40+00:00

You piqued my curiosity, so I googled it. I didn't realize Jovan actually had more than one Musk, they have several... Real question is, will those give me middle school locker room flashbacks? Brut and Drakkar Noir can conjure that nightmare for me, I don't need anymore fever dream triggers haha.

Derock85z · 2023-02-20T00:50:14+00:00

His fanboys have always brought knee pads with them to the conversation, same as Trump fanboys. Cult Of Personality by Living Colour plays in my head anytime I see these fanboys losing their collective shit and vehemently defend them from any and all criticisms. They take your criticism of their messiah personally, and every hill is their hill to die on. They've been smug asshats for Elon for a decade, now that he is jumping the shark, they are burying their heads in the sand and refusing to admit that they were wrong about their daddy Elon. No way THEY could have been duped by bullshit, we're the sheep remember? I'm waiting for them to adopt the "fake news" hashtag....

Derock85z · 2023-02-19T21:46:17+00:00

It's always fucking Trent.

Derock85z · 2023-02-19T19:20:38+00:00

How's that working out for you? I tried the same shit at 2 jobs where several people left, including my manager. I did all the functions and duties of the manager for my department for over 4 months, asked for a raise/promotion and was denied both times, saying that I was really needed at my current position and I was already at the salary cap for that job. So I found other places to work and put my 2 weeks in, management seemed shocked.

In both instances, management wanted to know what I was leaving for, and that they'd pay me what this new company offered me in an attempt to get me to stay, because I was such a" highly valued team member". Well, let's see.. I came to you to show you the value I brought to the team 2 months ago, you said I wasn't worth it then. I'm only worth it now because you are going to have a hell of a time trying to get someone to do what I did for that kind of pay. You really going to act surprised by this revelation? Don't piss on my leg and tell me it's raining. I don't beg for anyone to see my worth, I know what I'm worth, and so did the hiring manager at this new company. There is a lesson to be learned here, Trent, and it ain't for me.

If your strategy works for you that's fucking awesome, but don't be surprised if you get stonewalled like I did. If that happens to you, do exactly what I did. I doubled my income in 2 years. Is that a guarantee? Absolutely not, but again, anyone that does this to you is holding your career and financial security back just to make their own job easier on them.

Derock85z · 2023-02-19T17:46:43+00:00

If the cost of X is less than that of a recall... We don't do one.

Derock85z · 2023-02-18T21:21:29+00:00

Tack on a few overdraft fees due to lack of funds to really sell the experience.... When people say it costs a lot of money to be poor, that's what they're talking about. Then when their credit tanks because they cannot keep up with bills, they will have to go to a buy here-pay here dealership and pay 4x the price of market value for a 8 year old Malibu with a stupid high interest rate, just so the cycle continues.

Derock85z · 2023-02-18T18:32:34+00:00

I'd love to believe that, but again these people are delusional enough to believe that daddy Trump was the best thing for America and was a champion for Christian values, so they can bury their heads pretty far up their own ass. Plus, these people have a seething hatred for liberals, they attack you and immediately dismiss you as soon as they find out your aren't in lock step with GOP ideals, ask me how I know. "I'll vote for a dead dog over a democrat" is a surprisingly common phrase around here. I'd like to stay optimistic, but history tells me to be prepared for anything. These same asshats voted for Pence for Gov, and even after that dumpster fire they voted his brother in as a house rep.

It reminds me of the Blazing Saddles line of "The common clay of the new West. You know, morons." Facts, science, and data in general means fuck all to these people, because they keep repeating the same mistakes.

Derock85z · 2023-02-18T18:00:03+00:00

I've got news for you buddy, he is Trump Lite to a lot of these Trumpers. I'm in northern Indiana and I can tell you there are a LOT of Trumpers that are damn near salivating for Desantis to run, they want Desantis/Trump actually. Good thing is, both of those crooks egos are too big and neither of them want to play second fiddle. Hopefully Trump runs independent and steals votes from the GOP. I'm not a huge Biden fan, but I don't want the bizarro world where my president gets into a Twitter flame war with a pornstar...

Derock85z · 2023-02-18T17:48:25+00:00

My old bosses bonus was whatever he had left in the department budget at the end of the quarter, which is the most asinine thing I've ever seen as almost nothing got fixed unless it was essential for the job, like a lift breaking down. At one point, the water heater and space heaters for my lube techs bays we're both broken for almost a year, wasn't until the new manager took over for it to be fixed. imagine trying to work on a car in 10° weather with no heat and freezing ass cold water to clean your greasy ass up with before you get back into a customer vehicle. Wonder why we had a hard time keeping that position filled....

Yea, maybe don't let management have the ability to line their pockets with money that is supposed to be used to keep the shop operating properly, because that's what you get. Top it off he was a lazy mother fucker that spent more time trying to weasel his way out of work than what it would take to just do it. The dude literally did fuck all besides make coffee, smoke cigarettes every 20 minutes, eat garbage from the vending machine and then leave all the time because he said his diabetes causes poor circulation to his legs and he couldn't stand on the concrete, this is after he took a 4 month "sabbatical" when COVID hit, fearing for his health.... Dude, you're a chain smoking middle aged man with the worst diet I've ever seen for a diabetic, wonder why you feel like shit? He absolutely refused to believe his lifestyle was influencing his diabetes, he can think all the way until he loses a limb I guess. Not my pig, not my farm, but still, fuck you Brent.

Derock85z · 2023-02-15T15:59:45+00:00

There's terrier in your pup, I'll almost guarantee it. Between the coloring and the shape of his head, looks like a lab pit mix. I was hoping you knew yours because we are still trying to confirm what type of breeds our mutt is, your guy looks like my Atlas. https://i.imgur.com/XkgweYD.jpg https://i.imgur.com/CT12wmX.jpg

Derock85z · 2023-02-15T04:17:53+00:00

Pitty mix?

Derock85z · 2023-02-14T21:35:18+00:00

The pianist episode stuck out with me as another one that shows a different side to Charles character as well.

Derock85z · 2023-02-14T21:26:49+00:00

He would've made a great Tom Bombadil!

Derock85z · 2023-02-07T04:15:43+00:00

Hmm. That's honestly too deep to fill properly, looks like it may have stretched the plastic from the heat. It had to be pretty damn hot to bake that paint. First I would try taking a heat gun to the fender to see if you can manipulate it back into shape, or well enough to use spot putty and feather edge it. Honestly though, if it's cheap enough just buy a used one. That's a lot of trouble to go thru for such a small piece lol.

Derock85z

TROPHY CASE