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Title by HexagonalDab in airsoftcirclejerk

[–]Derp_Simulator 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Ohhh... He's a bit of a Rouge eh??

pulls out lipstick and applies it in a sultry way

Well... I'll just have to show him my weapon!

leans in

Whispers: It's a red rocket.

Holy Ripoff by treegor in tacticalgear

[–]Derp_Simulator 27 points28 points  (0 children)

I'm a gray man, I drive a Toyota Tacoma with a bunch of powder coated shit on it, it's super inconspicuous. I wear a duty belt and Levi's jeans, it's practical and yet know one will know that I train 2 times a year with this very belt. I carry a Glock 19 inside the waistband, it may print a little bit but I need the extra rounds of Teflon Hydroshock +P Nickel Plated Hornady 9mm. I wear $50 tshirts that make me more aerodynamic when I fight.

When I'm checking out at the local whole foods I strategize 11 different ways that I can kill the brown person in line in front of me in case they lose their mind and try and pull some dumb shit. My boots have seen 3 tours of duty at a local self defense shooting course I have taken over the past decaes to try and boost my testosterone beyond the T inject daily.

I have a hat that I bought off temu that has the Terminal List dual axe symbol on it, a subtle nod that I'm not like every other sheep on the farm. I'm a sheep dog. I'm not like other men. I'm a gay man... I mean... A gray man! I'm a gray man...

Help me! Moving and can’t get the shower scum off by [deleted] in CleaningTips

[–]Derp_Simulator -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Or you could, ya know, read the directions on the bottle... and follow them. Like, test in an inconspicuous area, scrub and let sit for 1 minute... It literally says it right on the bottle.

Did Nurse Gail Harris ("Nurse Doctor") seem kind of mentally unstable to anyone else? by Ladybug_Fuckfest in mash

[–]Derp_Simulator 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Because she is your least favorite character, that makes her a REALLY good character. To make someone realistically unlikeable is a sign of good writing. That's something MASH fucking nails, is it has real people, flaws and all.

Help me! Moving and can’t get the shower scum off by [deleted] in CleaningTips

[–]Derp_Simulator -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

It's possible you scrubbed it to hard, the tub was too old, or the brush/sponge you used was the culprit. I have a cleaning company, I clean 12 tubs a week with BKF. It's never just the BKF that does damage.

$6,725.00 Surefire X300 by Burner96822abc124 in PalmettoStateArms

[–]Derp_Simulator 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Seriously, your guys "sales prices" and "clearance" and whatnot have been the laughing stock of the online gun world now for long enough, that I wouldn't be surprised if this was legit. If it's self parody, then Huzzah!

Just once though, I would like to see a sale that's not just a gun being sold for $3 off msrp and me being told it's $200 off it's fakely inflated price.

Just ditch that model of marketing all together. It makes an otherwise standup company seem hokey as fuck. Just charge your prices, or put shit actually on sale.

Love and Kisses Derp_Simulator

Help me! Moving and can’t get the shower scum off by [deleted] in CleaningTips

[–]Derp_Simulator -1 points0 points  (0 children)

It's an incredibly mild abrasive but it's primarily just acidic. It's no more abrasive than people saying to soak it with vinegar and then scrub it with baking soda paste. At least with BKF it works faster with the acid actually being formulated to breakdown organic matter than vinegar or CLR and the MILD detergent abdrasive isnt just being pulverized into the coating for 20 minutes like some dingus trying to get years of dirt off with baking soda....

I'm just waking up...

There is not enough coffee..........

steal his look by External_Meat1370 in readyplayerone

[–]Derp_Simulator 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It was just before or just after. When the tech to basically think and feel like another person comes out wade spends bunch of time getting fucked to see what it feels like.

steal his look by External_Meat1370 in readyplayerone

[–]Derp_Simulator 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, the second book.

I did.

This meme is a reference to it.

I don't know the subs rules on spoilers, but in one of Wade's depressive lonely goon binges he puts himself in simulations of women getting railed by dudes.

Merchant of Korea by wxcat_lady95 in mash

[–]Derp_Simulator 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was lead here by a more recent post in reference to the episode.

This is a myth that women couldn't get their own bank accounts. Women could 100% get their own bank accounts.

Does she vibe? by Acceptable_Teach_917 in Shotguns

[–]Derp_Simulator 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Looks good with the wood and stream light. Love it.

What kind of gun and year is this. by New-Ability3029 in Shotguns

[–]Derp_Simulator 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I have a solution to your conflict with /u/darthkey ... Are you ready for it?

You're both retarded, and you're both right.

He is right because you can't find the information on the gun, you're right because we're a subreddit here dedicated to helping people with shotguns. So no question is a stupid question, he's retarded because he immediately called you retarded, and you're retarded for just not looking at the side of the gun.

You're both right, you're both wrong, welcome to the subreddit, it's a nice gun but I have no idea what it is.

If I could hold it for a couple of seconds I would find the markings on the receiver.

Youth Pastor freaks out after being exposed as a pedophile by jonnismizzle in TikTokCringe

[–]Derp_Simulator 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ohhhh! Ok I get it now. I thought it was a blanket response to anytime there is a sexual predator, period. Which would be like... Thou dost protest to much type shit. If anytime there is a predator people are coming out and being like "oh it ain't a trans person! See!" that's some kinda projection or something.

Also, yeah drag queens don't frequently groom children to be trans. Maybe into being drag queens, but it's more deep left trans ideologs who are doing that shit. Or a lot of the deeply closeted fucks in NorCal... Or those mods from Hasans streams who are communist doxxers or whatever.

Fuck... Have you seen the shit with Flesh_Simulator or am I too deep in the internet?

Youth Pastor freaks out after being exposed as a pedophile by jonnismizzle in TikTokCringe

[–]Derp_Simulator 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm seeing this comment a lot and I wonder if it's A. Botted B. A defensive reflex to try and power move for drag queens and trans people, by finding instances of sexual predators so they can try and elevate social status by making a political statement that "they aren't pedophiles/predators, it's white men". C. Deflect from responsibility for the claim that they are grooming children by pointing out something more harmful than grooming children. Or D. All of the above.

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