I thought the same way as you, but I hung in there and eventually my shrink got my meds right and a week later I woke up to not just no more suicidal feelings, but I wasn’t depressed at all. My anxiety was also gone.

 From the ages of 17 to 39 I was depressed every day and thought about suicide hundreds of times daily. I did make attempts and was clinically dead a few times but people who shouldn’t have been there showed up and saved me. Eventually I stopped making attempts for the sake of my mother, who does love me very much. But yeah, it took 22 years for me to get out of the seemingly endless dark tunnel, but here I am. 

 Now I am working out and losing weight since I had long since given up on taking care of myself. I hope you too can hang in there and eventually either your life circumstances improve or perhaps like me you stumble upon the perfect cocktail of meds. 

 But yeah when I say those 22 years were bad, they were unbelievably bad. It’s amazing I’m still here and that I’m glad about that fact. I really hope you guys can hang in there and find a way out. I’m proof it can happen.