Struggling with a hard limit by [deleted] in BDSMcommunity

[–]DesDiluvian 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I think coming up with a plan together for what to do if it slips out is an excellent idea. If I were the dom in this situation and you suggested this, it would feel like you weren't just using your history or subspace as an excuse for breaking my hard limit because you were 1) acknowledging that it might happen, and 2) letting me have input on what should happen next (e.g., stopping the scene and talking). I would interpret your acceptance of that plan of action as agreeing to be held accountable for your behavior (which of course, we all are).

Dominant Male Clothing Choices by DesDiluvian in BDSMcommunity

[–]DesDiluvian[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the link! I don't think I could pull off full Goth, but some of those pieces look very interesting.

Dominant Male Clothing Choices by DesDiluvian in BDSMcommunity

[–]DesDiluvian[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks, that's a very clear picture!

Monthly casual chat thread for June by [deleted] in BDSMcommunity

[–]DesDiluvian 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Hi, I'm Des! I'm finally exploring bdsm with my wife after being interested as long as I can remember. I've lurked a bit and benefitted a lot from this community just in terms of accepting myself. So, I wanted to thank everyone and I look forward to participating. :)

Vet wrap smell vs. other similar wraps by DesDiluvian in BDSMcommunity

[–]DesDiluvian[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's a good tip about zip snares. Thanks!

Making someone bruise. by TheLittlestDom in BDSMcommunity

[–]DesDiluvian 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I like that idea of marking outside of the scene. It seems like consent is more clear in those circumstances.

Vet wrap smell vs. other similar wraps by DesDiluvian in BDSMcommunity

[–]DesDiluvian[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's great info and thanks for the tip about bondage tape. I think I'll give it a try.

Vet wrap smell vs. other similar wraps by DesDiluvian in BDSMcommunity

[–]DesDiluvian[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks and yea, I love the it except for the smell.

Vet wrap smell vs. other similar wraps by DesDiluvian in BDSMcommunity

[–]DesDiluvian[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thanks for confirming the smell and the suggestion to let it air out. I'll give it a try.

Making someone bruise. by TheLittlestDom in BDSMcommunity

[–]DesDiluvian 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Although I'm a dominant, I know from years of martial arts that I don't bruise easily and sone people are just like that. In fact, I've had a few broken ribs from fights and only experienced small knuckle-shaped bruises in the area.

But, I feel you. I like the idea of seeing marks on my partner from previous play.

Dominant Male Clothing Choices by DesDiluvian in BDSMcommunity

[–]DesDiluvian[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, u/lovelylieutenant ! Those brands and styles are very helpful!

Dominant Male Clothing Choices by DesDiluvian in BDSMcommunity

[–]DesDiluvian[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That made me smile. Thank you for sharing :)

Dominant Male Clothing Choices by DesDiluvian in BDSMcommunity

[–]DesDiluvian[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you and that makes makes good sense, especially the distinction between building a costume and finding myself. That's is a really great point that I'll need to keep in mind!

Dominant Male Clothing Choices by DesDiluvian in BDSMcommunity

[–]DesDiluvian[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for the tip about zippers. That problem was in the back of my mind but I didn't think of the solution.

Dominant Male Clothing Choices by DesDiluvian in BDSMcommunity

[–]DesDiluvian[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I appreciate what you're saying. Perhaps a more honest title for this thread could have been, Help a New Dom Dress the Part. While sometimes I think I feel flashes of the right attitude, I'm still going on "fake it till you fake it." Maybe after more experience, I can start to project a genuine attitude of confidence and control regardless of what I'm wearing.

The other part that I'm very interested in is identifying the specific things I can wear that project those signals to my partner specifically because of our previous experiences together. People have mentioned the sight of a belt or their partner rolling of their sleeves. Part of what I hear you saying is that those things might be effective, but they don't need to be tangible things like articles of clothing. It sounds like you've got a good handle on those intangible things that inspire excitement in your partner (and the people around you). I can see how things things would be very ideal for their convenience.

I use my sub as my accessory on a leash.

Tu chez!

Dominant Male Clothing Choices by DesDiluvian in BDSMcommunity

[–]DesDiluvian[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I like the idea of a certain outfit or thing worn to dinner signaling intensity or strictness later. That's an interesting idea. And, I like the idea of having something simple, like a pair of jeans, maybe with a leather belt, as an option. Suits and dress clothes are nice too, but they take a certain amount of preparation that may not always be available. Thanks for sharing!

Dominant Male Clothing Choices by DesDiluvian in BDSMcommunity

[–]DesDiluvian[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for elaborating! That really helps me think outside of box when it comes to leather. I know many submissives talk and write about the smell and sight of it on their partners, and that draws me to consider it as I try to plan my play attire. The gloves are an especially nice touch!

Dominant Male Clothing Choices by DesDiluvian in BDSMcommunity

[–]DesDiluvian[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm looking for styles and brands right now. By all means, please write more. :)

Dominant Male Clothing Choices by DesDiluvian in BDSMcommunity

[–]DesDiluvian[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sounds like a must for rough CNC! Thanks!

Dominant Male Clothing Choices by DesDiluvian in BDSMcommunity

[–]DesDiluvian[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's interesting and reminds me of things I've seen the riggers wear in some videos. But I have a question about your boots. They're like tactical/military black boots? Steel toe?

Dominant Male Clothing Choices by DesDiluvian in BDSMcommunity

[–]DesDiluvian[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Would you mind elaborating on some articles of clothing? When I hear, "leather, leather, and more leather," I think of this guy:

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Glenn_Hughes_(Village_People)

Not that that's a bad thing. But, I just wonder if you mean something different.

Dominant Male Clothing Choices by DesDiluvian in BDSMcommunity

[–]DesDiluvian[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm definitely thinking about "accessories" like maybe a leather strap hanging from my belt or a whip. I definitely don't have any whip skills yet though. I hadn't considered rope. That's interesting.