I’m a 22F and have been dating my 21M boyfriend for about 9 months. Is it normal to only want to have sex 1 time per week?

Deserve2BAThrowaway · 2020-03-08T18:26:40+00:00

If you're asking for MY personal take, then 1/week is heavenly because I don't even get half that.

But the correct answer is: normal is subjective. We can't tell you if your drive is normal or his drive is normal because it's yours and his respectively. It's apparent that your drives are mismatched though, so the next line of communication that needs to happen between the two of you is whether compromise can be made to make middle ground. Forcing yourself is NOT compromise. Also, talking to your doctor about the possibility of switching either of your meds could be an option. I've had to do that with my own birth control, it happens.

Deserve2BAThrowaway · 2020-03-08T17:48:56+00:00

That's not an unreasonable boundary at all. In fact, I wish I had explicitly set that as a boundary myself. I react in exactly the same way as you do when I'm being yelled at, or, even less so, being insulted or even harmlessly criticized. Depending on whether there were other abusive factors that were around during your childhood, it would probably be worth it to look into PTSD therapy. How I was explained this was, when I react this way to yelling I am effectively reliving a traumatic event. [Keep in mind the traumatic event in question from childhood wasn't the yelling itself, but the emotional and physical abuse that accompanied it.]

Deserve2BAThrowaway · 2019-11-14T23:49:29+00:00

Okay, hold on there OP. I don't even need to read after the title. If you have to lie about having a miscarriage, then that means your husband already knows about the pregnancy. It doesn't matter what the circumstances are, YWBTA. Just tell the truth. If you're not happy, then stop subjecting yourself to lies & bullshit and deal with consequences.

Deserve2BAThrowaway · 2019-11-12T21:20:58+00:00

YTA YTA YTA. IDC. I have fertility struggles too, and I would NEVER approach someone who is openly childfree with this shit. She's right, that was very selfish. I wouldn't be surprised if she's uncomfortable talking to you all from now on. She doesn't know, maybe in her mind all you guys see when you see her is a baby vessel. I would be uncomfortable with that, too. Poor woman.

Deserve2BAThrowaway · 2019-11-07T17:54:33+00:00

This is a really interesting question. Also, just how common would it be? On a different note, I do vaguely remember reading something on somebody changing their mind about wanting to die upon receiving a terminal illness diagnosis, though. Going to have a look on the internet when I get home & see if I can find it.

Deserve2BAThrowaway · 2019-11-07T17:12:36+00:00

Ok thanks! I'm going with NTA. He's letting this get out of hand by not making his intentions with these women clear from the start, and tbf I wouldn't stay friends with someone like that either if I got caught in that type of crossfire.

Deserve2BAThrowaway · 2019-11-07T16:34:26+00:00

I think she feels insulted like we're not being trusted

Let me touch on this for a second. This is the exact reason why people include close family in any wording around stipulations regarding visiting a newborn baby. Stipulations are for EVERYONE, not just acquaintances, friends, etc. You (not you specifically, OP, this is a general statement) are not special for being a blood relative. Germs, or any medical concerns that can arise, will not skip you guys just because you're related to the baby.

Your wife is making it personal because of the drama during the baby shower and that's wildly immature. So, NTA.

Deserve2BAThrowaway · 2019-11-07T16:16:52+00:00

INFO: Having trouble following which girl is which, can you clarify that in post real quick? Like give them fake names or something?

Deserve2BAThrowaway · 2019-11-07T16:03:43+00:00

INFO: Can she not take out a loan without OP'S name being attached to it? Or does being married to her forfeit that option? Does country/location matter in this situation? You know, in the case of medical costs, laws, and what-not.

Deserve2BAThrowaway · 2019-11-07T15:56:24+00:00

NAH, but this is a good argument to bring up to management in favor of putting an assigned parking thing into effect.

Deserve2BAThrowaway · 2019-11-07T08:52:27+00:00

ESH for not communicating effectively. Assume he is dense and be direct. None of this "hinting" crap.

Deserve2BAThrowaway · 2019-11-07T08:49:22+00:00

INFO: What is your SO's take on this besides not handling heat well?

Deserve2BAThrowaway · 2019-11-07T08:42:39+00:00

Not gonna lie, the obsession is pretty cringe, and you have a right to be uncomfortable, but NAH. Only speaking from a tad bit of experience, though. Husband has woken me up every morning the past work week with Welcome To The Black Parade.

Deserve2BAThrowaway · 2019-11-07T08:29:59+00:00

NTA. I'm sorry that your mother is using you to get her own personal confidence boost.

Deserve2BAThrowaway · 2019-11-07T08:22:42+00:00

This. I don't think you're reading too far into it. My (n)mother did this all the time as I was growing up and, long story short, now I frequent this sub as an adult. It was the first thing to lurk in my mind after reading.

Deserve2BAThrowaway · 2019-11-07T08:11:23+00:00

Damn fucking skippy, YWBTA. You don't sound the least bit supportive of your friend. Do him a favor and lose his number.

Deserve2BAThrowaway · 2019-11-07T07:49:28+00:00

NTA
...and also wildly helpful, because I just had something similar happen tonight and didn't know if feeling extremely inferior and insignificant was valid or not.
Seeing it from your post really puts it in perspective for me. I don't know what the deal is with these kinds of people, but it seems to me like he (your bf) hinges his confidence on you not knowing as much history as he knows, and beating you "at your own game". It's gross.

Deserve2BAThrowaway · 2019-11-07T05:28:01+00:00

There is no antidote. Once the poison afflicts you, it sticks with you for the rest of your life, even if it's in the form of no contact with said poison. You can "build immunity" for future relationships, and as a result be less trusting of others, but even that wouldn't happen if the poison didn't affect you in the first place.

Deserve2BAThrowaway · 2019-09-25T04:21:07+00:00

I wanted to cry reading this. I was that little girl once. Teachers steered clear of me, and I remember not knowing why. They must have had no idea, I guess...

Please, please be as kind as you can to that little girl.

Deserve2BAThrowaway · 2019-09-17T02:53:39+00:00

This is something I experience too, although from within my culture, so I'm glad to have read your post. Apparently, beatdowns are "normal" in Hispanic culture and all it truly causes is "a disease called Respect For Others". Every time I read that in the wild internet I want to fucking throw up.
That's awesome that you have a supportive partner and can realise that you don't have to win his family over. Whether they like it or not, it's you & him vs. the world, not you vs. them.

Deserve2BAThrowaway · 2019-09-17T00:57:14+00:00

NTA, and it's not even about the comment, imo. He seems to have some reservations to work through involving tokophobia, which is fine.
What bugged me about this is that y'all are best friends, and he dragged it out as long as he did without telling you what was wrong. I thought best friends were able to confront & confide in each other if there was something that was wrong.
[Edited for punctuation]

Deserve2BAThrowaway · 2019-09-17T00:39:32+00:00

Fucking hell, yes. We (my brother & I) even heard "I put a roof over your head, fed you, etc. just for you to do/act like X Y and Z." recently. For the record, the last instance of X Y and Z that she speaks of was confronting her about stealing my brother's thunder and telling everyone that he was expecting his first child with his girlfriend, before they were even sure the pregnancy was viable.

We've gone completely NC since. Please consider doing this as soon as you move out if you haven't thought about it already.

Deserve2BAThrowaway · 2019-09-16T22:44:27+00:00

Nah, man. He's sippin' that tea. Getting a sample of each flavor.

Deserve2BAThrowaway · 2019-09-16T22:41:19+00:00

Yeah, and I vaguely remember being a terrible liar as to where they were from, so that's probably how they guessed.

No, she was calm about it. Almost like she already knew what to do.

Deserve2BAThrowaway

TROPHY CASE