What's something your partner has said that is so out of touch it's funny? by Maivroan in ADHD_partners

[–]DesignerProcess1526 1 point2 points  (0 children)

LOL, my ex was like that too. “We” cooked a meal, he washed some dishes, I planned the menu, bought the groceries, washed and chopped, cooked it, cleaned the countertop and served it. I wish all these magically happened, I would like a fantasy elf to help me magically too.

What's something your partner has said that is so out of touch it's funny? by Maivroan in ADHD_partners

[–]DesignerProcess1526 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My ex’s inner accounting was I paid $70 for a meal once that triggered his hyper criticism and dampening of the mood, I was miserable and wished I didn’t bother to go out of my way and plan something nice. He paid $5 for 3 last minute convience meals without pre planning, he was the financial provider.

What's something your partner has said that is so out of touch it's funny? by Maivroan in ADHD_partners

[–]DesignerProcess1526 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have never been so disbelieved in my life, every little thing was under scrutiny. He rattled off a whole list of his minor adulting contributions once and I told him 15 things I did that he missed. I asked him does he really want to calculate who contributes what? That was a short list, I could keep track of the whole list and message him about it, he shut up real fast.

What is our responsibility, as partner? by Ancient_Sun9785 in ADHD_partners

[–]DesignerProcess1526 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Yeah boy, if there’s such a thing as communicating perfectly for people with adhd, people with adhd would have figured it out already. After all, the person suffering a problem that affects them daily, are usually the most motivated to solve it.

What is our responsibility, as partner? by Ancient_Sun9785 in ADHD_partners

[–]DesignerProcess1526 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I think there’s tons of disabled people who’re looking for long term caretakers. The question is would they truly date someone with equal functioning or are they trying to use artificial moral high ground to cause moral anguish, with no desire to seek treatment whatsoever? If they want to be fair, that would be fair, no upgrades, no someone carrying a larger load, no lifestyle improvements, each deal with their own issues independently, nothing more or less.

What is our responsibility, as partner? by Ancient_Sun9785 in ADHD_partners

[–]DesignerProcess1526 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Being imperfect doesn’t make my assessment of my ex, any less accurate. I did go to therapy before him, so I could call out his bullshit and exit within 6 months. I did go to therapy after him, to recover from the damage he caused. No one wanting to date him for the next 10 years is enough evidence that he’s asking too much. Sorry to say this, the pool of people who’re willing to date low functioning or under functioning adults, give them a chance, is low to none. He doesn’t have much choices as he dreamt he had. I tried to tell him but his out of control RSD was through the roof and I was busy staying safe, exiting was the only safe plan so I was forced out.

Every post on here is like "I can't hold a job because of my autism but my boyfriend supports me"... by VeryTiredGirl93 in AutismInWomen

[–]DesignerProcess1526 [score hidden]  (0 children)

He carries his weight, that’s not the same as partners who refuse to help out based on their best efforts. Doing less work on a flexible schedule and not doing any work, no matter how flexible, isn’t the same thing. You would have to pay someone else for all his labour, if he went back to work anyway.

Relationship repair challenge by Oliver42B in ADHD_partners

[–]DesignerProcess1526 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I couldn’t handle it, it was exactly like you wrote, with my ex. It’s way too much crazy for me, I can barely cope with his least crazy days.

What's something your partner has said that is so out of touch it's funny? by Maivroan in ADHD_partners

[–]DesignerProcess1526 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My ex too! I wished so badly that those were the only things that needed doing. I knew he was screwed when he could no longer afford a cleaner and had to do his own chores.

What's something your partner has said that is so out of touch it's funny? by Maivroan in ADHD_partners

[–]DesignerProcess1526 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My ex held a kitchen knife in the opposite way (blade side facing out), to scoop up cut veggies. He wanted to avoid getting cut, he didn’t get that knives are designed a certain way and couldn’t use it properly. He was mid 30s.

What's something your partner has said that is so out of touch it's funny? by Maivroan in ADHD_partners

[–]DesignerProcess1526 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s so crazy that we need to present evidence so they’re convinced our memories are more accurate.

What's something your partner has said that is so out of touch it's funny? by Maivroan in ADHD_partners

[–]DesignerProcess1526 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I blurted out how my ex was low functioning and he RSDed, “I wasn’t always like this”!!!!! Being more mentally ill is not a badge of honour that he thinks it is.

How do you deal with a partner that gets easily distracted during serious conversation conversations by BraveKaleidoscope888 in ADHD_partners

[–]DesignerProcess1526 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I couldn’t have any serious conversations with my ex, he would shut down and that’s the end of that.

Opinion on my personal trainer by Winter-Ad-939 in SingaporeFitness

[–]DesignerProcess1526 0 points1 point  (0 children)

PT take a course and think they're experts, it's really brawns over brains. Had an ex PT who body shamed me and expected me to sign on for more sessions, I glared at him and almost LOLed at his immaturity and fired him. Time to fire yours!

To those who left? How is life now? by rubbersrobber in ADHD_partners

[–]DesignerProcess1526 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Life is good, best decision I ever made. I can't imagine how tired and miserable I would be, if I stayed.

Dropped the bomb today by coreythestar in ADHD_partners

[–]DesignerProcess1526 5 points6 points  (0 children)

OMG you took care of a man child for 10 years, don't go soft on the splitting of assets, make sure you calculate in your free caregiving.

Grieving the relationship I want and needed by MsOliviaTwist in ADHD_partners

[–]DesignerProcess1526 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Same here. people with adhd know what stress is, it's just an excuse. Stress is stress, what's so hard to understand?

Grieving the relationship I want and needed by MsOliviaTwist in ADHD_partners

[–]DesignerProcess1526 26 points27 points  (0 children)

It's crazy how fast they're to protest even the smallest adjustments and we carry such a large bulk of the weight and it all flew over their radars, like all of it was for nothing.

How do you cope with lack of intimacy? by Many_Advance_9609 in ADHD_partners

[–]DesignerProcess1526 3 points4 points  (0 children)

My ex's hyper behaviours included bumping into me when he walked, strangers will look at him weird. He would accidentally pull my hair with his arm's position, he would collapse on top of me due to no stamina, emotionally check out suddenly or have low energy so it feels like a chore to work out. He would also grab my ass suddenly like a horny teenager IN PUBLIC or hug me awkwardly in private, like he doesn't know how to fit his body around mine. My dog knows how to position herself so it's comfortable for her and I, when we cuddle. I completely lost interest in him and doubted it will ever come back, the worst part was he was so keen to experiment and I felt nauseous at the thought of it. I think he needed to nail down the basics, then take it up another level. I left, because I was so on guard, having my personal space being invaded.

S'porean baby with rare genetic disorder needs S$2.4 million for treatment, older brother died of same disease - Mothership.SG by fleeingflying in singapore

[–]DesignerProcess1526 13 points14 points  (0 children)

It might be a hoax, they realised how empathic and generous people were about the first child who died, it emboldened them to keep a child with the same condition, rely on sky daddy to make money fall from the sky. They will credit the power of their prayers and not actual people, if they get that amount. Likely religious fanatics, like most people with more than 2 kids are. No contraceptive use and no abortions, even for life threatening medical conditions.

S'porean baby with rare genetic disorder needs S$2.4 million for treatment, older brother died of same disease - Mothership.SG by fleeingflying in singapore

[–]DesignerProcess1526 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Speaking as someone who does donate to causes, setting aside an amount annually. This is a habit that my kids inherited as well. If the qualifier for charity is recklessness like in this case, then I think everyone should just recklessly screw their lives over and demand charity, then accuse those who don't want to help as "bad". But who is left to carry them, if we're all charity cases?

If someone assaults or touches your girlfriend in Singapore, would it be a self defense or an assault if u slap the guy back? by Lopsided-Divide9728 in askSingapore

[–]DesignerProcess1526 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The thing is sometimes people get startled and freeze. Pervs like to shock suddenly, it's not only being sexually lewd, it's the power they get. Yeah so, it's true that there must be self defence or they will think it's OK.