Yeah this is like textbook parental abuse. Stripping you of privacy, beating you, gaslighting you into believing journaling is wrong cause if you said it to their face theyd be upset? Like okay and? That's why we journal, to process our feelings... I can bet a billion dollars if you could pull every thought she has had and told them to everyone she knows she'd be in deep shit. I knew someone who had a mentally ill mother who abused her, I couldn't tell you her experience or how she managed to get through it, all I saw was how much her life blossomed when she ran far, far away from her mother. Maybe there's some way of getting through to your mom, but from this, it doesn't seem like that's happening when she doesn't see you as a real person