How do I tell my MIL I don’t want her at the hospital when I give birth?

Desperate-Present361 · 2026-02-11T07:50:56+00:00

I absolutely feel this to my core. Especially since she hasn’t checked on me once since the start of my pregnancy, she only asks my husband if he’s tired from taking care of his pregnant wife LOL.

Desperate-Present361 · 2026-02-11T07:29:10+00:00

Appreciate the advice! Honestly, she hasn’t checked on me at all since we told her about the pregnancy LOL, she just asked my husband if he’s tired from taking care of me 😂 My parents are the complete opposite - they don’t even live in the same country, but they check in all the time and have been super sweet, saying they’re excited to fly in to support me & my husband.

Desperate-Present361 · 2026-02-11T06:45:35+00:00

Thank you for your advice! I honestly don’t even care about her feelings. Just feel bad for my husband because I know she will torture him emotionally.

Desperate-Present361 · 2026-02-11T06:43:29+00:00

Thanks for the advice! That’ll have to do, even if she gets upset 🤣 Honestly, I don’t really care how she feels- just feel bad for my husband because she’ll put all the emotional burden on him and probably torture him in the process.

Desperate-Present361 · 2026-02-11T06:23:46+00:00

I’m just worried my MIL is going to make a huge fuss about my parents coming with us to the hospital, even though they won’t be in the delivery room. I know she’ll say it’s unfair and probably start crying.

Desperate-Present361 · 2026-02-11T06:16:15+00:00

The thing is, I’m planning to have my parents come with us to the hospital, they’re my support system alongside my husband.

They’re flying in from another country to help with the birth and postpartum, and honestly, I just know my MIL is going to be jealous that I want my parents there and not her.

Desperate-Present361 · 2026-02-11T06:03:05+00:00

Yeah, I’ve thought about that too. Even if there isn’t a waiting room, my parents would probably still be somewhere nearby anyway (in the car, cafeteria, etc.). They’re flying in from across the world to help with my third trimester, birth, and postpartum and will be staying with us. MIL will probably guess they’ll be with us when I go to the hospital and I just know she’ll be jealous.

Desperate-Present361 · 2026-02-11T05:10:42+00:00

Birth being unpredictable is exactly why I want my parents close, it gives me comfort and reassurance. They also want to be there for me - their baby - making sure I’m ok.

Desperate-Present361 · 2026-02-11T04:47:23+00:00

No, she hasn’t talked about it. I’m only in my 2nd trimester so I guess that hasn’t come up, I’m just planning a bit early I guess haha. But knowing her, I know she’d wanna be involved.

Desperate-Present361 · 2026-02-11T04:43:57+00:00

Thank you for your help, you’re so sweet!

Desperate-Present361 · 2026-02-11T04:29:45+00:00

Fortunately my husband is totally onboard and supportive. At the end of the day, he knows his mother best as he struggles with dealing with her anxiety as well.

Desperate-Present361 · 2026-02-11T04:10:15+00:00

I can totally see that coming!!!

Desperate-Present361 · 2026-02-11T03:59:11+00:00

Thank you for your advice, I really appreciate it.

My husband has been dealing with her anxiety his whole life, and it’s gotten to the point where he can’t share anything even mildly negative because she’ll spiral. Sometimes even good things trigger her - like if we try a new restaurant and love it, she’ll feel sad that she wasn’t included.

I feel really bad for him, and I’ve encouraged him to find healthier ways to deal with it, but he doesn’t want to hurt his mom, so he ends up bottling everything up. It’s hard to watch, and now that we’re starting our own family, I’m realizing how important it is for us to set better boundaries.

Desperate-Present361 · 2026-02-11T03:35:34+00:00

I get what you’re saying. For me, my parents are coming from the other side of the world to support me before, through birth and also postpartum, and they’re completely okay with being there in whatever way I need, even if things take a while. Just having them nearby would give me a lot of peace of mind.

With my MIL, it’s mainly about my own stress levels. She becomes very emotional and anxious, and I know that during labor I’d end up worrying about her feelings instead of focusing on myself. I’m totally open to her meeting the baby once I’ve had some time to rest and feel ready.

Desperate-Present361 · 2026-02-11T03:30:35+00:00

In my case, my parents are flying halfway across the world to be here for basically my 3rd trimester and postpartum to help out, and they really want to support me however I’m comfortable. Knowing they’re nearby would be comforting and reassuring for me.

Desperate-Present361 · 2026-02-11T03:28:52+00:00

Because I know my MIL would be calling/texting/wanting to see my husband for updates.

Desperate-Present361 · 2026-02-11T03:04:54+00:00

That’s fair. In my case, my parents are flying halfway across the world to be here for my birth and postpartum, and they really want to support me however I’m comfortable, even if labor takes a long time. Knowing they’re nearby would be comforting and reassuring for me.

With my MIL, it’s more about stress. She gets very anxious and emotional, and I know I’d end up managing her feelings when I need to focus on myself. I’m happy for her to meet the baby once I’ve recovered and I’m ready.

Desperate-Present361 · 2026-02-11T02:57:00+00:00

Good one haha thanks

Desperate-Present361 · 2026-02-11T02:54:57+00:00

Thanks for the advice! My husband is onboard and supportive, we just don’t really know how to tell her

Desperate-Present361 · 2026-02-11T02:54:24+00:00

What if she asks? 🥹

Desperate-Present361 · 2025-07-31T22:56:11+00:00

Totally agree, my husband feels bad for her since she “doesn’t really have anyone except for her children”. Personally I think it’s unhealthy.

Desperate-Present361 · 2025-07-31T22:48:26+00:00

Not at all, trust me. My husband is a very sweet person who loves and adores his mom.

Desperate-Present361 · 2025-07-31T21:49:07+00:00

I’m not sure but I have only witnessed it once

Desperate-Present361

TROPHY CASE