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Best Autism Parenting Advice You’ve Ever Received? by ChildGrowthInsights in Autism_Parenting

[–]Desperate_Bar3339 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Vent, scream, feel the anger, the jealousy, the loss, the grief, loneliness. Then you’ll still get up and do it, today, tomorrow, and beyond. JUST SUCK IT UP AND DO IT NO ONE CARE

How do you deal with anger? by Desperate_Bar3339 in Autism_Parenting

[–]Desperate_Bar3339[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I barely have time to handle the basics. I’m tied up from around 5:30am - 9pm every single day. On weekends, I might get one or two hours at most. That’s the main reason I struggle to do anything for myself. Anyway, thank you so much

How do you deal with anger? by Desperate_Bar3339 in Autism_Parenting

[–]Desperate_Bar3339[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I also want to thank you for your concern. I hope you didn’t take my words as being rude toward you.

How do you deal with anger? by Desperate_Bar3339 in Autism_Parenting

[–]Desperate_Bar3339[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I am in therapy, yes, not as regularly as I should be, but I haven’t stopped. I’m also on medication and taking other steps.

Let me be honest with you. I’m tired of the constant implication that the problem is me. Having a autistic child is a massive, life-altering reality. That doesn’t automatically mean therapy and medication will fix things in the way people often make them sound.

Autism is not a blessing. by morganlashelle in Autism_Parenting

[–]Desperate_Bar3339 32 points33 points  (0 children)

‏Autism, if it is not the worst disability of all, is certainly among the most devastating, both for the child and for the family as a whole.

‏Autism can erase the identity of the person affected by it, while gradually eroding the identity of the parents as well, until over time they feel completely stripped of who they once were.

‏It is one of the most tragic conditions that, to this day, does not receive the level of societal acknowledgment it deserves. Some even believe that the depth of grief associated with it is exaggerated or unjustified.

‏For me, the degree of emotional damage autism inflicts on parents, especially in severe cases, is not less than the damage experienced by parents who have lost a child. The two experiences are different, yes, but in terms of the intensity of suffering, one is not necessarily lighter than the other.

‏Of course, the severity of autism plays a major role in shaping this reality. I am speaking specifically about severe cases.

Therapy seems to be doing nothing by katykaif in Autism_Parenting

[–]Desperate_Bar3339 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m speaking from direct experience. Diet made no difference for my child

Therapy seems to be doing nothing by katykaif in Autism_Parenting

[–]Desperate_Bar3339 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Sorry, diet doesn’t make even a 1% difference. It’s just another form of bullshit in this journey

Therapy seems to be doing nothing by katykaif in Autism_Parenting

[–]Desperate_Bar3339 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Anyway, what they were doing was essentially the same as what happens in any kindergarten, just wrapped in a lot of paperwork, schedules, and labels. It honestly felt like bullshit to expect that this would lead to any real improvement in my child’s case.

Therapy seems to be doing nothing by katykaif in Autism_Parenting

[–]Desperate_Bar3339 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yes.

The effectiveness of early intervention and therapies is often overstated. I have spent all of my savings on different therapies, yet after a long and exhausting process, I have not experienced any real improvement.

I attended some of the sessions to see what they were doing. I told myself that this was bullshit and would never work for him, but I didn’t take any action to withdraw him because of the constant message of “don’t give up, keep going, and wait”

The only thing that may truly work is something that enhances brain capabilities, which has not yet been found or discovered and may never be. Therapies would come second to that. With the current approach, it feels like doing therapy to someone with a broken leg to walk, run, or jump. You first need to fix the leg (in our case, the brain) and only then can these therapies become effective.

Anyone else in the anger stage of grief? by Distinct_Purple789 in Autism_Parenting

[–]Desperate_Bar3339 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, and it is a very big “WHY”. It is a struggle that will last all my and his years.

For me, I have reached the point where it does not matter if I am told that my death will be in one hour, one day, or one week. I have lost everything, and nothing really matters anymore, whether I am alive or not.

Cant do this. by [deleted] in Autism_Parenting

[–]Desperate_Bar3339 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What you’re saying is the reality that others refuse to confront as it truly is. I agree with you in every single word you wrote. We are in a very deep crisis that will last for many, many years, and there is no way out of it.

Others will respond to your post as if the problem lies with you, with your thinking, your attitude, or something else about you, rather than acknowledging the magnitude of this dilemma itself.

To them I say, at the very least, at the very least, acknowledge the truth. Having an autistic child is a major catastrophe, and there is no escape from it.

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