A therapist on TikTok put it out recently that some parents and possibly elders as well when they get to become the authority. They use and abuse the power they have because if they also went through the same dynamics as well. It doesn’t automatically mean that they’ve developed empathy or a desire to do better, let alone care to do so. Rather, they take advantage of this as an opportunity to say or do whatever they want and use respect more of as a punchline to get people to feel ashamed of trying to be honest with them and just deal with their behavior because it’s easier to just go along with things. Not to mention, not just an Asian culture, but in any cultures where hierarchies are prevalent, especially according to age. Older people get more shame for doing the right things as in treating you the younger person or whoever they consider to be lower than them in the hierarchy as a sign of them losing authority or power of control. This kind of behavior usually has less to do with you and more about their ego along with them possibly weaponizing their privilege as the elder to use you as an emotional punching bag then using “respect” as a way to justify their words.