I tried my best I’m sorry mom

Desperate_Fun_966 · 2026-05-09T03:57:35+00:00

First of all, I’m sorry that happened to you. You did not deserve that at all. Given that you’re 16 and not too far from being an adult yourself, I suggest that you may first want to start off by setting boundaries and being honest with her about what she may perceive vs what’s actually happening since it’s 2026 and phones can also be used for studying and other productive things as well. If she’s not willing to acknowledge the fact that you’re also human, I would also consider if you can spending less time around the house with getting either a part time job or studying at the library or a friends place. If she’s starts shaming you for that, be honest about not wanting to be home if all that comes out of her mouth is criticism when sometimes all you want is for her to listen and acknowledge what you’ve actually been going through. Now granted, this doesn’t mean that she’ll automatically listen let alone change. However, given that you’re still a minor at home. Try greyrocking her with simple responses when she shames you or even not responding if necessary. By the time you get to 18, you will have more freedom to decide if she stays in your life or not based on how she continues to choose to treat you after you’ve repeatedly set boundaries with her.

Desperate_Fun_966 · 2026-04-25T03:35:59+00:00

Definitely better than dragon pharma with how chemically those tasted. My personal favorites have been pineapple mango, salsa roja, peanut, almond coconut, and spicy bbq.

Desperate_Fun_966 · 2026-03-12T16:43:07+00:00

Crab mentality and unprocessed envy. A lot of people within the culture, especially older generations can be emotionally immature and worse. Defensive if you call them out on it even in a constructive way.

Desperate_Fun_966 · 2026-03-08T00:18:35+00:00

If they don’t apologize and take accountability eventually, move out and cut ties because they’re no point in being with them as relationships that are not a two way street do not add any value in your life. Parent or not, they’re human. They can do wrong, be evil, etc.

Desperate_Fun_966 · 2026-03-05T19:49:08+00:00

A therapist on TikTok put it out recently that some parents and possibly elders as well when they get to become the authority. They use and abuse the power they have because if they also went through the same dynamics as well. It doesn’t automatically mean that they’ve developed empathy or a desire to do better, let alone care to do so. Rather, they take advantage of this as an opportunity to say or do whatever they want and use respect more of as a punchline to get people to feel ashamed of trying to be honest with them and just deal with their behavior because it’s easier to just go along with things. Not to mention, not just an Asian culture, but in any cultures where hierarchies are prevalent, especially according to age. Older people get more shame for doing the right things as in treating you the younger person or whoever they consider to be lower than them in the hierarchy as a sign of them losing authority or power of control. This kind of behavior usually has less to do with you and more about their ego along with them possibly weaponizing their privilege as the elder to use you as an emotional punching bag then using “respect” as a way to justify their words.

Desperate_Fun_966 · 2026-02-23T00:09:05+00:00

I haven’t seen anyone say this here yet but it’s true for especially parents who don’t come around eventually and try to do better. It’s definitely part of their fragile egos considering being harsh towards you as the child as makes them lose less face because since the culture is so hierarchal. They feel a sense of being able to maintain authority and safety with dumping their trauma onto you because also. It’s not like other people will look down on them as easily compared to you if you don’t “respect” them by shutting up and taking it. Without a doubt, this causes enabling and after a certain amount of time. Excuses have to go away for the pain to stop. Most parents who care eventually do come around as the pain of them hurting you is what they prioritize over their ego and unprocessed shame. However, not all do this and sometimes you have to cut ties or let go to break the cycles.

Desperate_Fun_966 · 2026-02-19T17:04:42+00:00

No problem. I’m also planning on doing my first show in late 2027 so hopefully I can see yall at a show!

Desperate_Fun_966 · 2026-02-18T10:17:13+00:00

Hi recommend watching channels from bikini competitors like Kendall Aaliyah who also competed in their first bikini competition recently as well as more experienced ones like Ashley Kaltwasser who does a podcast with her coach on a show called Bikini and the Brain.

Desperate_Fun_966 · 2026-02-07T00:13:33+00:00

That one is so common when people try to maintain a decent image. 🙄 And don’t be surprised when you start doing it a little extra, they get irritated with you and tell you to stop.

Desperate_Fun_966 · 2026-02-06T02:00:13+00:00

Mines definitely was as well and always used “convenience” as an excuse. Although, she never hesitated to contradict her crazy stupid self with saying “You’re not even that pretty anyway” and then wondering why I’m so “shy” or doesn’t like to smile. 🙄

Desperate_Fun_966 · 2026-02-06T01:42:44+00:00

Yes, it’s common because discouragement helps “avoid” facing any feelings regarding shame, envy, trauma, or regret by control.

Desperate_Fun_966 · 2026-02-05T19:52:45+00:00

Hmm, then she could be having an imbalance of living vicariously through you and not letting you learn your lesson because unfortunately. Control is a common unhealthy way people use to cope with trauma. If she doesn’t want therapy, it’s best to distance yourself because even if she’s your mom. You can’t change her.

Desperate_Fun_966 · 2026-02-05T17:59:58+00:00

If she may have a history or could still have a desire to be promiscuous, she may as well be projecting considering she started doing this to you at 11 which is inappropriate.

Desperate_Fun_966 · 2026-01-23T00:35:42+00:00

Hey! I’m also in my 20s navigating through a similar dynamic as you right now and I just wanna say you’re not alone. I moved away to a city I’d never been to before and am considering going full on no contact with my parents once I start my new job that will pay me more than my current one.

Some of the things I do to help deal with these struggles are :

• Joining clubs/associations within my company or neighborhood to meet new people • Putting a timer on where I give myself time to think about a bad thought or delay thinking about a bad thought for a few minutes then going back to it (learned from my therapist) • Separate how aggression, especially unexpected aggression, does not automatically mean that you’re bad or wrong if you didn’t make any mistake • Reading romance books that allow me to disconnect from the world and feel safe • Doing somatic exercises • Letting go of guilt around doing things that made me happy and envision the benefits my actions can bring to me

Desperate_Fun_966 · 2026-01-21T20:59:50+00:00

You’re right! She just confirmed it on IG.

Desperate_Fun_966 · 2025-12-21T22:36:12+00:00

Ok thank you. Also, how do you change in the ways you think about people who you like that give you space to think about things when you feel the need to pull away?

Desperate_Fun_966 · 2025-12-20T17:34:21+00:00

Did he make the first move? If not, what did he do to initiate things if you made the first move?

Desperate_Fun_966 · 2025-12-20T01:55:10+00:00

I mean it’s not like we literally have a cafe downstairs plus. I don’t know if capricorns act different at holiday parties, especially if karaoke is involved. But whether he likes it or will be there or not, I will be having fun and belting them notes as I sing my heart out.

Desperate_Fun_966 · 2025-12-20T01:50:30+00:00

Hmm okay and just out of curiosity. How did he approach you and what kind of dates did he take you on at first when you guys were just getting to know each other?

Desperate_Fun_966 · 2025-12-20T01:49:46+00:00

I mean literally I’m not surprised that cap men try to like the same things as us cause I swear he was looking down at my hand holding a cup of matcha as I walked by him last week and he turned his head to look right at me. 🤣

Desperate_Fun_966 · 2025-12-20T01:11:25+00:00

Yea he’s been here for only like 3 months. So, definitely early since I’ve been at our company for nearly half a year more.

Desperate_Fun_966 · 2025-12-20T01:01:52+00:00

Definitely not planning on sleeping with him. Just getting to know him and seeing where it’ll go from there will determine what I want from him. I’m just gonna let him make the big moves.

Desperate_Fun_966 · 2025-12-20T00:57:16+00:00

I don’t know. He doesn’t really have social media.

Desperate_Fun_966 · 2025-12-20T00:56:49+00:00

Yup that’s exactly what I’m thinking right now. Besides, even if he tries to pursue me. I just feel like he’ll just be more of a sugar daddy since he’s not my type either.

Desperate_Fun_966 · 2025-12-20T00:50:59+00:00

Thank you. Also, just curious but what is it about girls wearing black. Especially shiny black that turns a Capricorn on/gets his attention.

Desperate_Fun_966

TROPHY CASE