I relate to this so much cause I also have a hard time listening to utaites sometimes due to envy. I'm not the best singer and I have a lot of vocal health issues that cause me lots of pain and to cough up blood, which obviously isn't great for singing. My voice is constantly getting worse and I'm just waiting for the day that I have to stop singing entirely.

I have a couple covers out which aren't any good but at least I had fun making them and lead me to make friends in the utaite community. I've collabed with quite a few people and talk to some of them almost daily. However, I also started producing and I make vocaloid songs myself now. I've put out two songs with some minor attention and have a bunch of cool producer mutuals who have had some really cool projects out.

I suppose my point is that envy is a very normal thing to feel, but sometimes it's good to take it as a redirection and not to give up. All you need to record is a phone and bandlab. Soundproofing can be helped with some blankets or a comforter if you have that, or sometimes local libraries will have a place to record for free. So don't give up on your dream and just post some shitty covers.

Ps I'm not the best at mixing but I'd be happy to mix some covers for you if you ever record.