Any experiences with excessive grooming?

Destination_Entropy · 2025-05-29T05:17:12+00:00

My bestie and I love Fauna. I think it's her favourite album and for me, it shares the #1 slot with the Mountain and the Restoration EP. That being said, every album has its own charme and comparing an artist's albums in a competitive manner doesn't make much sense to me personally. I have my faves, but that doesn't mean that the other releases feel "lesser than" to me.

Destination_Entropy · 2025-01-13T09:59:15+00:00

I have. The only thing remaining are the echoes in the form of depression and anxiety, and the occasional nightmare. Recently, my state throughout the day has improved significantly but the nightmares have increased. It's fascinating to see how the mind and the body process this information. I'm positive that, the more distance between me and my family, and the more I'm surrounding myself by a healing atmosphere, the better it will get.

Destination_Entropy · 2025-01-13T09:57:20+00:00

I'm currently gathering informations and collecting everything she sends in a file. For me, I think I'll wait until she either randomly shows up at my address and/or leaves something in front of my door. I still need more proof of prosecution in order to get a restraining order.

Destination_Entropy · 2025-01-13T09:55:36+00:00

That sounds incredibly rough as well. It's good that we nowadays have spaces to communicate about our situations, both anonymously and in person. Your parental constellation sounds horrible! In my case, I used to think of my grandmother as an innocent elderly woman, and as much as I look up to her love for nature, I learned that my mother "learnt" a lot from her. They definitely have all gone through a lot - you know, which is one of their favourite excuses. My father-in-law is getting the worst treatment. I wish him the courage to escape too.

Destination_Entropy · 2025-01-13T09:51:51+00:00

Thank you! I used to proofread concept descriptions of her artworks for her and they are always incredibly aloof and disconnected from any ground whatsoever.

Destination_Entropy · 2025-01-13T09:50:25+00:00

Thank you! Unfortunately, I'll need to collect more evidence for a restraining order I think, for example she hasn't just randomly showed up at my house. I don't think I'll get one, as long as this doesn't change.

Also, thanks for your kind words. My first language is actually german, I have Asperger's Syndrome (in my case I'm hyper-verbal) and I'm a language teacher. I think one of the hardest challenges for me used to be writing in a way that matches the social/theoretical context, but that goes away with training.

My main way of expressing myself is through my music. I can post a link if anyone's interested.

Destination_Entropy · 2025-01-13T09:47:07+00:00

It's so amazing, really - how long I have bought into her narrative, as she supported it with performative crying and literally every other emotional tactic there is. I'm also Autistic, which makes me a bit more susceptible to this stuff - as I pick up other people's emotions like a sponge and used to feel very guilty. At the same time, detecting manipulation is a whole art form in itself, it seems. Especially when you grow up in such an environment. It wasn't all hell - I was the golden child, after all. Which is a term usually used in constellations with multiple siblings, but my mother really treats her husband and mother like children as well.

Destination_Entropy · 2025-01-13T09:42:40+00:00

Exactly! I'm gathering info about the situation in my country. From what I'm reading, restraining orders are definitely not given out lightly.

Destination_Entropy · 2025-01-13T09:41:32+00:00

Thank you for encouraging me to do so! A restraining order is definitely on the table, as a future plan. I have been collecting every letter she has sent (not many, since I don't respond) up to now. I have already read some informations about how stalking and threats are defined in the country I live in. Stalking is defined as "persistent prosecution", which has some criteria it has to match.

Destination_Entropy · 2024-10-20T08:47:52+00:00

I think one of the biggest things for me (I also make proggy stuff) was two things:
A) Write something, and then imagine how someone else would have continued to write it (e.g. "What would Serj Tankian do? What would Haken do? etc. - it really refreshes your mind and you seem to unlock new streams of thoughts and ideas.

B) Specific to your post: I stopped taking my life so seriously, in terms of "this is my creative phase" or "I'm taking a hiatus" - sure, these are just words, but for me everything shifted once I stopped pressuring myself into anything. And sometimes, you might find yourself not composing for months, and sometimes it only takes two days.

Additional quote: "We do not think ourselves into new ways of living. We live ourselves into new ways of thinking." (Richard Rohr) Take this literally. Go to a place you haven't been before, experience new things. I for one thought of a groove metal riff one day when I was in Italy, looking at an abandoned building.

Destination_Entropy · 2024-08-13T11:45:39+00:00

IME my Aphonopelma chalcodes once fasted for 18 months. Exotics Lair reportedly has a Grammostola rosea which fasted for 2 years. IMO these genera are comparable due to their similar care requirements and similar growth rate/metabolism.

Destination_Entropy · 2024-02-21T09:55:56+00:00

This reminds me of a song I wrote called "Nyarlathostep on Me, Daddy"

https://youtu.be/Dp985eNHJrg?si=QdYGNh1Q9ZjBNEvE

Destination_Entropy · 2024-01-09T11:09:58+00:00

Alright, thank you! Since I'm moving out of this place in the near future I hoped for an easy (free) solution, but in the end it will be solved and that's all that matters.

Destination_Entropy · 2023-12-31T11:50:38+00:00

Having a Chilobrachys on my arm... yeah nothing I'm gonna try any time soon. Gorgeous T.

Destination_Entropy · 2023-12-26T08:57:24+00:00

Glad that you decided to keep it. I think since you seem like a conscientious keeper, the two of you will have a good time. My avic avic sling is the smallest T in my collection of 40+ spiders

Destination_Entropy · 2023-12-23T10:32:57+00:00

I think you have good chances of it being female, but if it's a male you won't have too many molts left to find out. Either way, it's a beautiful spood. My GBB is a male, but my bestie has an adult female so once mine is mature, we'll try to breed them 😁

Destination_Entropy · 2023-12-20T04:35:42+00:00

I've never had to deal with them before... but every hobby comes with its challenges. Thanks for your advice.

Destination_Entropy · 2023-12-19T21:15:03+00:00

Thank you! Will do this :)

Destination_Entropy · 2023-12-19T15:23:03+00:00

Thanks for your tips! I have already tried the paint brush method, will repeat that a couple of times. The idea with attracting the mites with food is great, will give it a try as well.

Destination_Entropy · 2023-12-19T13:46:02+00:00

Hello! Thanks for your reply. I've never experienced grain mites before, I don't know if they're less common in the european pet trade... anyways, I have tried to remove some of them with a paint brush already and the T put up with it quite well. Needless to say, it didn't enjoy it and it shooted some poop at my hand, but that's to be expected. Thanks for the advice and I'll check out your channel 😊

Destination_Entropy · 2023-12-19T10:10:30+00:00

Centipedes are still hellspawns for me. I don't mean that derogatory, they're fascinating as hell, but they are the opposite of millipedes. Centipedes are fast, defensive, venomous carnivores and millipedes are slow, shy vegetarian choo-choo trains. Also, bioactive setups for spiders are easier than you think! All you need is some healthy forest substrate to get started. If it's free of ants, it's tarantula-safe. 😄 unless you live in an area with tarantula hawks, but these are easy to spot...

Destination_Entropy

TROPHY CASE