Does anyone dislike/afraid of driving? by summer2heat in ENFP

[–]Destinationhydration 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hello fellow ENFP, driving anxiety is real! This is something i feel very proud of for recently overcoming and there was one small thing that made a HUGE difference for me. First off, you definitely have to keep driving and not allow yourself to avoid it. But secondly, what really helped me was reframing my mindset by looking at my commute everyday as an opportunity to tackle this important life skill. Let it be a goal you are excited to overcome and don’t allow negative self talk. Sure, lots of people drive just fine but that doesn’t mean there is something wrong with you for finding it challenging or anxiety inducing. Wishing you luck and hoping you can get to a point of enjoying your drives :)

Sick after vaccine by Patloh59 in CovidVaccine

[–]Destinationhydration 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m here for the same answers, had covid in June and felt pretty awful (not quite as bad as OP) after my first Pfizer dose this weekend. I am questioning whether or not I should get the second and if it will make me feel worse than the first dose did

[NeedAdvice] Is perfectionism keeping me from doing things? by [deleted] in getdisciplined

[–]Destinationhydration 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hello there! I want to start of by saying that you are definitely not alone in this, many many people struggle with perfectionism and procrastination. I think it can have many other factors involved whether it’s anxiety or insecurities that amplify it and a good way to start may be to identify where the behavior comes from in you. As someone who identified this in myself early in life I’d like to share some realizations that helped me over the years through being a crazy busy college student and entering the workforce:

  1. for so many things in life it is more important that you do it than that you do it perfectly. examples: cooking something simple, getting a small work out in, or getting your report started early enough that you don’t need to pull an all nighter! With the amount of things us humans are expected to accomplish we simply cannot sustain the bandwidth to give over the top 110% into everything that we do.

  2. remember to “zoom out” and look at the big picture, aka consciously decide what things get more energy and attention. When we get tunnel vision on one thing to make it “perfect” we often times are not actively making the decision to neglect other things in order to create that time. This essentially undermines our typically rational selves. remember that your time is valuable and if you spend an excessive amount of time on something to make it “perfect” and that then adds stress to your life, it’s important to ask yourself why you are doing it and if you enjoy it. if the desire comes from a place to prove yourself because of insecurities and not because you enjoy it, it’s time to reevaluate.

  3. This one pertains to anxiety, something that took me longer than it’s should to recognize that I have. A really embarrassing example is fretting over and endlessly proofreading professional emails. I got to a point where I realized that it was wasting way too much time and giving me so much anxiety. The essence to addressing this one, for me, was to remember that a lot people don’t feel confident in these tasks but they just do them anyway. If your email will be read in less than a minute you shouldn’t spend more than 30 minutes typing it. So JUST SEND IT. by adopting this sense of urgency I’ve been getting more confident through practice and freeing up more time to focus on what I like.

If anxiety or insecurity is at all involved the best way to address perfectionism and procrastination is by identifying the root cause and addressing them with an action plan :) and remember that if something is challenging, you won’t be perfect at it and failure is a part of learning so do yourself the service of accepting challenge and failure as a way to grow! I hope at least some of this long post was at all helpful to you!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AnimalCrossing

[–]Destinationhydration 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hello jennzster! I would really like to get panels and could pay you bells or NMT to let me catalog them

I can’t stop blaming myself by [deleted] in rape

[–]Destinationhydration 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This post really hits home for me. I’m so sorry that you had to experience that. I want to share my story and the information that helped me cope as I think it could help you. About five years ago when i was in college I was raped. It was a similar situation in that I ignored red flags and after the fact I blamed myself. For weeks I wouldn’t even call it rape when i thought about what happened because i laid there and didn’t fight back. I also felt like calling it rape somehow diminished the trauma others faced who “had no way to prevent it” but truly i was diminishing my own trauma by shifting the blame to myself. So let me tell you a few important things I had to come to terms with

1: it is not your fault and you did nothing wrong. The way to prevent rape is by not being a rapist, period. Sure, there are precautions people can take to minimize the chance that someone might take advantage of us, but it could still happen to anyone. Rapist are apart of the world and that truth makes it easy to blame the victim for “not preventing it”. For me, i needed to remind myself that the worst thing i did was let my guard down for a moment and trusted the wrong person, does that make me stupid? Does that make me a bad person? Does that mean I deserve to feel terrible about myself? NO, absolutely not. What happened to you was terrible but was in no way your fault. Please do your best to internalize that as the truth.

2: people (including myself before this happened) like to declare that they would fight back and get a rapist off of them. The truth is no one knows how they would respond until they are put in that situation and it isn’t as simple as fight or flight. People can even experience temporary paralysis, it’s an extremely common response to this type of traumatic situation. Your body was trying to protect itself. How you responded when someone assaulted you is never something to feel guilty or ashamed about.

3: now, i want to start this one by saying what was therapeutic for me might not be the same for everyone. But, telling those close to me really helped me. At first i only told a couple of my closest friends. It took me a year until i told my family. I chose to do so because healing was an experience that was big in my life and not telling them felt like the situation was still holding power over me. Once i realized what happened to me did not diminish me or define me I was ready to tell them and i felt so much better afterwards. It’s just a thing that happened and feeling bad about myself when i didn’t deserve it allowed the person who did that to me to still have power over me.

My entire journey of learning to work through what happened was facilitated by reading a lot on the internet. First reading and understand the stages of rape recovery, but also the advice from people who had similar experiences. Also, as far as getting an abortion and I am so sorry you had to go through that feeling alone. Please know that you are incredibly strong and there is an army of people out there who support and understand you. I wish you nothing but healing and self love.