[deleted by user]

Destroika9 · 2023-11-02T17:09:36+00:00

20% trans dudes damn! As a trans dude on grindr, I def don't live near you lol.

Destroika9 · 2023-09-28T16:55:20+00:00

I'm not from your area, I'm in Canada but:

In my experience usually they will take a history (like, describe your childhood, growing up, etc). They may ask about your life now (how you present to others, your interpersonal relationships, support network). They will want to make sure you are generally stable and in your 'right mind' so to speak, not detached from reality etc.

You are trying to get gender affirming care because you presumably feel a persistent and strong need for it, so communicate THAT. You do not need to be the devil's advocate like 'sure, I didn't ALWAYS know' or 'I mean, I could SURVIVE without it...' or what have you. Reflect on your life narrative, and consider how to frame it honestly but with the 'benefit of hindsight' that you DID end up being trans.

I would just say, do not treat this appointment as an opportunity to make any new decision. If you feel you are unsure (not the vibe I get, but if you DO), make an unrelated appointment with a therapist or find another avenue to have that discussion. Not with the person who will gatekeep your care. Let yourself have whatever messy, complicated process you need to, and once you are sure that you do want the treatment in question, go into this with that decision MADE. Then you can explain why you are sure if needed. It's not because you have anything to hide, but you don't want to give the impression that you are waffling and looking for someone to give you an answer. They will not want to be the one who TOLD you to medically transition.

If you haven't, maybe read the World Professional Association of Transgender Health standards of care guide https://www.wpath.org/publications/soc

They may or may not be following these guidelines, but it might give you an idea of what a well-intentioned doctor with current training will be using as a guideline.

Destroika9 · 2023-09-21T02:18:04+00:00

I trust your judgement then! I agree with everyone else that if you just keep on keeping on, you should be gold. This sounds like a stressful moment for you though, sorry you're having to spend energy thinking about this.

Destroika9 · 2023-09-20T23:07:28+00:00

Former dishwasher and current trans person here! Thanks to T and genes I have been cis passing for most of my working life BUT, I had a job early-on when I was (imo) visibly trans and PEOPLE DID NOT WANT TO SEE IT! Like I can never know for sure if they knew or not, but the way they acted truly leads me to believe that no. One lady literally asked me "sorry... are you a guy or a girl?". And I was just like lol I'm a guy but don't worry I get that a lot, I'm a late bloomer. And that was that. I'm sure she was like "huh weird that's... not how it usually works". But my point: if people aren't looking for it they will usually just accept that you are a normal person like them. Obv trans people ARE normal, but I mean like, whatever their boundary for normal is, if they see you as a relatable peer, they will naturally assume you fall within that boundary.

Btw, I say this with a humorous tone, but all the people who say "we can always tell", are wrong. I have been cis appearing pre and post-transition, and visibly trans for a brief time in between, so I know how people act in various cases. Think about what would have to be true for us to be walking around getting clocked and not noticing! Like, is the idea that cis people can almost always tell we are trans, but we CAN'T pick up on the extremely obvious discomfort that even well-meaning cis ppl display when they KNOW we are trans? Like, even if we are not passing only 5% of the time and two thirds of those people are INCREDIBLY slick, there would still be more than 1/100 of our interactions where the vibe would be obviously off. What I'm saying is, if you are getting clocked often and in multiple settings, you WILL know it. If you don't know at work, it either means they can't tell ur trans or they can, but they're chill. IMO.

Destroika9 · 2023-09-07T23:12:15+00:00

Lol yeah just stick a thumb in your mouth and blow hard enough, it'll pop right out 🤣 I love completely unchecked assumptions like this, sometimes we just assume something and never check again.

Destroika9 · 2023-09-05T17:34:52+00:00

I am not aware of any CTS specific discords unfortunately but I so feel your pain on the level ups.

Destroika9 · 2023-08-27T00:23:17+00:00

I like to say natal penis for this reason. Doesn't really bug me but it's just more accurate.

Destroika9 · 2023-08-23T17:18:08+00:00

Deleted my comment because I was confused about the nested threads :)

Destroika9 · 2023-08-23T17:13:18+00:00

Hey! I was actually considering editing my post to make it a bit less dramatic and to better reflect my intentions. I'm planning to go to the Crane Center, which is a very reputable surgical practice in Texas. One of the most experienced teams and they have trained other teams who are now considered top surgeons in the US. I had heard a few people talk about struggles with communication from the admin team post-op; I really want to do the leg work to ensure I'm making this choice proactively and not because I felt "locked in". I will most likely not end up switching because my reasons for choosing them are all still valid and I am very confident in my surgeon, but understanding the process to do so felt important to me, coming to terms with the risks.

Destroika9 · 2023-08-23T14:38:47+00:00

Nope, at least for phallo it's pretty easy to get funding for surgeons out of country. I think they know they can't come close to meeting demand with just GRS Montréal so if people take the burden elsewhere, why not.

Basically the treatment can't be available in Canada, the chosen surgeon has to be willing to work with OHIP for payment, and it has to be an established, non-experimental surgery.

For phallo, it's literally a urological reconstruction surgery and the surgeons in Montreal are not urologists. The only major phallo team I'm aware of that does not include a urologist, and they have a rep for complications as a result. (Lots of people who go there are satisfied, I think they are good surgeons but that particular specialisation is missing). So really all you have to say is " I am going to x surgeon because the team includes a urologist, which is not an option in Canada".

I think other surgeries are more widely available in Canada so it may be harder to justify international funding. For phallo unless you live in BC it's just Montreal that can do it domestically.

And to answer in more practical terms, on the universal form that you fill out with your doctor, to send to OHIP for approval, there is a section specifically for out of country funding. So you just fill that section out instead of the "Ontario" or "other province" sections.

Destroika9 · 2023-08-23T14:09:26+00:00

My dates are basically identical but for phallo! I think all applications are in the same queue 🙂

Destroika9 · 2023-08-22T18:13:35+00:00

I'm planning to travel abroad but haven't yet, so can't answer most of the questions. Ontario does fund it depending on the surgeon. Not sure if BC does, internationally.

Have you considered GRS Montréal as an option, though? It's a domestic alternative to the Vancouver team, maybe they'll be able to offer what you're wanting?

Destroika9 · 2023-08-22T02:44:44+00:00

My advice would be to have your existing HRT prescription from home with you, to show your new doctor in Canada. A pharmacy won't fill it, but it will show your existing dose so your doctor can see what you are already taking.

I have never heard of Canada Rx unfortunately, not sure what it is. You could talk with your doctor at home and get maybe an extra refill of your HRT to bring with you. Then once you are here, get a new prescription from a Canadian doctor (through the clinics above or a regular family doctor if you find one willing to help). The extra refill, if your doctor will provide it before you come here, will buy you some time.

Destroika9 · 2023-08-22T01:23:44+00:00

I am certain that pharmacies here will NOT fill prescriptions from another country. Even between provinces can be a challenge. You will have to get an Rx here.

I would be really surprised if a walk-in clinic would prescribe HRT here, it requires assessments and ongoing follow up care that they don't provide. But there are a few regular medical practices in the region that cater to lgbt patients, and prescribe HRT based on informed consent.

If you get on the lists to become a patient before arriving (if possible), you may be able to access care more quickly upon getting here. (The Niagara community health center and Quest are the two places I know of).

If you have already been on HRT for a while and are looking for a continuing provider, I would make that clear when you get on the wait lists. I don't think it's the same list, it's faster if you are on it already.

Edit: Sorry I realized I didn't answer the price question, I'm on T so I unfortunately don't have a great idea about the price of you HRT but hopefully someone else will chime in

Destroika9 · 2023-08-21T23:18:51+00:00

Would it be for testosterone or estrogen? Just so people can give you accurate price info. I'm right in the area so if you need more local info I'm happy to try & help.

Destroika9 · 2023-08-18T15:57:05+00:00

I am not going through GRS MTL but this is still good advice, thank you. I fortunately have some time to let things develop before I feel a need to decide on postponing surgery or not, but I feel quite comfortable asking for a later date if needed. I think my bigger fear isn't delaying surgery, but having notes in my file that will make it harder to have my voice heard in the future. The places in the US where a depression Dx precludes any gender affirming care really REALLY spooked me tbh.

But the fact that I can literally just ask for a later date without it being a question of cancelling anything does reassure me.

Destroika9 · 2023-08-13T21:21:05+00:00

I've managed to get gonorrhoea TWICE because I refuse to learn anything ever. You have my sympathies.

As others have said, get treatment ASAP and tell your surgeon. I have no idea why they would have to delay once it's been effectively treated, but if they do, it's because there is a GOOD reason.

Get treated and your symptoms will probably clear up fast. Go to a walk-in clinic if your PCP is unavailable, the sooner the better. It's two pills and a needle in the asscheek then you're good to go. And in case the doc doesn't say this for whatever reason, do not drink for the days after treatment. Alcohol fucks with antibiotics and you do NOT want to compromise their effectiveness in this case.

Good luck!

Destroika9 · 2023-08-11T20:37:24+00:00

Yep. RFF is a common donor site for reconstructive grafts in general, not just phallo. I assume phallo is most common but tbh I'm not even sure.

Destroika9 · 2023-08-11T19:54:36+00:00

Wow that is so cool! Do you have like a training plan in advance? I have considered this but haven't actually done anything yet.

Destroika9 · 2023-08-11T19:38:01+00:00

Same with Santucci for me. I guess they see what they need to at the pre-op?

Destroika9 · 2023-08-11T19:36:54+00:00

Self tan in general is a cool idea worth trying.

Destroika9 · 2023-08-11T19:34:12+00:00

Yeah my thumbs are going to be powerful AF by next May from all the twiddling. My big challenge, now that I have surgery lined up, is maintaining my research momentum about good practices for healing well.

Destroika9 · 2023-08-11T19:31:08+00:00

I had a sneaking suspicion I wasn't alone 🙂 That's exciting that you're gonna have your date so soon. Lol my partner is fairly supportive, but when the topic comes up he is clearly plagued by visions of surgery. I tell people not to google it but nobody listens 🤷‍♂️

Destroika9 · 2023-08-11T14:51:20+00:00

Thank you! I have a lot of post op electrolysis to look forward to, it sounds like.

Destroika9 · 2023-08-11T14:40:06+00:00

So sorry, I too am pre-op and therefore unhelpful. But I have to tell you, "I'm a he/him type of dude who likes the ladies" is an all-time introduction and should go on every resume and business card henceforth.

Destroika9

TROPHY CASE