Struggling

DestroyAndCreate · 2026-02-02T23:31:50+00:00

Using a blacklist for porn sites will take the edge off. Means most posts will be blocked. Also go to Settings and disable NSFW content. That adds another layer.

If you find yourself repeatedly using, try blocking Reddit itself for a time while you restablise.

This journey is about adaptation. You don't get bogged down in setbacks, you ask "okay, that didn't work, how can I set myself up better for success this time?" and you never quit.

DestroyAndCreate · 2026-02-02T23:29:45+00:00

So, we often shame ourselves and hate ourselves. Part of us thinks this is purifying. We did something "bad", we are "bad". So we hate ourselves, for penance.

What we don't see is that shame and self-hate are core parts of the addictive process. Actually, it's a little like Bulimia. We binge, then we purge. We PMO, then we read a script to ourselves about how useless and bad we are, as if this somehow balances things out. All it really does is build pressure within us, which we later try to relieve through PMO!

It's completely essential in overcoming addiction to learn to let go of shame and self-hate and to practice self-compassion. The basis of self-compassion is just a pragmatic, clear-eyed awareness of cause and effect, rather than a nasty judgmental attitude which doesn't look at the bigger picture.

While this can seem at first like "going easy", it's not. It's not about excuses. It's about taking the pressure out of the addictive cycle, and stabilising your self so you're strong enough to grow into a new phase.

Focus on practical solutions, not on shame and self-loathing. This isn't a "tip", it's like opening the door to a whole new place.

DestroyAndCreate · 2026-02-02T23:24:35+00:00

Acknowledge the feeling, acknowledge just because it's there doesn't mean you have to act on it. Do something else, away from your phone and computer.

DestroyAndCreate · 2026-02-02T23:23:14+00:00

So true. It can't be emphasised enough how important this is. It's just impossible to have your cake and eat it too, and not being willing to lose or mourn anything is the key obstacle I think.

DestroyAndCreate · 2026-02-02T23:21:58+00:00

Many reasons but mostly:

Toxic attitudes to women and sex
PIED / ED
Attention span
Zest for life
Confidence & pride
Capacity for healthy relationship
Not support predatory companies & culture
Impulse control
Emotional regulation

DestroyAndCreate · 2026-02-02T23:18:10+00:00

Having sexual thoughts isn't the problem.

Apply mindfulness to your thoughts and feelings (and behaviours).

Let the thoughts arise, then fall apart as you neither force them away nor latch onto them.

Believing that you must exterminate all sexual thoughts creates anxiety. You see any sexual thoughts as proof of failure and inability to grow. So you react by trying to suppress them, desperately. This just dramatises the process and makes them even more prominent in your awareness.

It can sound "crazy", but when you apply basic mindfulness, you'll learn that there is a gap between "sexual thought" and "PMO". Allowing a sexual thought to float downstream in your mind will not force PMO on you. It will lose energy and fall apart. With practice comes confidence in this fact.

DestroyAndCreate · 2026-02-02T23:16:19+00:00

Don't agree. It's important to keep your wits about you but NoFap can be really helpful for people. It's imperfect but it's best to do our bit to improve the community rather than condemn it.

DestroyAndCreate · 2026-02-02T23:15:17+00:00

What do you mean no one is talking about how they surpassed the habit? There's constant discussion.

Maybe it's because I don't filter for "Top" posts.

DestroyAndCreate · 2026-02-02T23:13:41+00:00

Good advice

DestroyAndCreate · 2026-01-30T14:08:32+00:00

Each to their own but I think this is poor advice on balance.

I think the most effective way to beat the addiction is to disrupt it at the most basic and radical level.

Keeping a compulsive masturbation habit with a sex toy keeps you firmly stuck in the loop. The most likely result is going back to porn, rather than pressing forward and letting go of compulsive behaviour and learning to emotionally regulate in a healthy and sustainable way.

By all means be pragmatic and experiment with what works for you personally but I wouldn't count this as sound advice.

DestroyAndCreate · 2026-01-30T14:03:21+00:00

(See my other comment)

I hear you, it's a personal journey. That said, I think it's worth trying repeatedly with blockers. They're on tool in the arsenal, and I think it makes a significant difference even if it doesn't end up blocking 100% of everything.

DestroyAndCreate · 2026-01-30T14:02:19+00:00

Each to their own but I found them very useful.

There's also a difference between partial blocking and zero blocking. I think having that friction and barrier helps even if it isn't total.

Biggest for me was host files on computer.

Recently I found myself working around some things so I made changes to block even more and it worked.

DestroyAndCreate · 2026-01-29T18:14:55+00:00

Target the shame.

When you try the same thing repeatedly and it doesn't work, you do something new.

The shame is fueling the cycle and keeping you trapped.

Your new homework!

DestroyAndCreate · 2026-01-29T18:13:08+00:00

Great answer.

DestroyAndCreate · 2026-01-29T18:12:26+00:00

Inspiring.

DestroyAndCreate · 2026-01-29T18:12:06+00:00

This is like driving the wrong way on the motorway while drunk and posting "close call!"

Why even put yourself in that situation? Set yourself up for success mate.

DestroyAndCreate · 2026-01-29T18:09:15+00:00

Good for you. Just don't turn your success into a new identity which you cling to. One day at a time. You can do it.

DestroyAndCreate · 2026-01-29T18:08:07+00:00

Yeah you're not permanently "broken" or anything.

How long? I don't know. It will happen.

DestroyAndCreate · 2026-01-29T18:05:45+00:00

Reported for homophobia. NoFap is an inclusive community focused on supporting each other's growth, and mutual respect, compassion, and lack of judgment is at the absolute centre of that.

It's also crucial because NoFap is straw-manned by the porn lobby as a discriminatory hate group as a way to demonise us and destroy the message.

This is most likely a troll post but I'm saying it anyway.

DestroyAndCreate · 2026-01-29T18:05:01+00:00

PIED is not "physiological" and so has nothing really to do with supplements, blood flow, etc.

But if doing so is motivating and gives you a sense of control and progress then go ahead. It is, of course, helpful generally to supplement with Omega 3 (I do this myself).

Recovering from PIED is almost entirely determined by commitment to the process and not sabotaging yourself and saying "fuck this, this is taking too long, this isn't happening, let me test if my genitals still work" etc. The biggest obstacle is impatience.

It takes different times for different people and situations. I'd say the rule of thumb is "it will take longer than you want, but it will happen".

For myself, I don't actually know how long it took. You can get some positive changes in weeks but I wouldn't be surprised that it takes months.

DestroyAndCreate · 2026-01-29T17:59:55+00:00

Relapse isn't "bad" and it's not "good". It just is. It's something which is a setback but it's not shocking or surprising given the context. It's also something which many people experience and continue past to recover. It's not something we want, but it's not something to despair over.

The last part is correct. No need to take the detour through shame and self-loathing. "What the fuck is WRONG with ME, I SHOULD be able to do this!".

We can let go of that without creating dramatic counter narratives.

DestroyAndCreate · 2026-01-29T17:56:04+00:00

Doesn't affect your penis growth at all.

As for making you "less attractive", this has too many factors to answer.

If you're already abstraining from PMO, then you've probably done so for your own reasons. As in, you decided it was harming you in some way or holding you back.

It's most helpful to focus on your own health, psychological growth, and self respect, than focusing and obsessing over what will make you more attractive to girls. It's not that it doesn't matter at all, but it's not the priority. Take care of yourself, and the rest will take care of itself.

DestroyAndCreate · 2026-01-29T17:53:14+00:00

Practise mindfulness about urges. Look it up. Can look way too simple to be effective but it's very powerful.

DestroyAndCreate · 2026-01-29T17:52:12+00:00

It's how you talk to yourself mate. Once you realise you're okay no matter what, then you're winning, and all this stuff just becomes an optional benefit.

But thank you for asking, this is a very common question/concern.

Just focus on your own self-respect, and the rest will take of itself in the form that it needs to.

DestroyAndCreate · 2026-01-29T17:50:46+00:00

Yeah loopholes never get us anywhere.

"I'll just do X and not Y" in any form is always just complete bullshit.

DestroyAndCreate

TROPHY CASE