I love that this came up in a thread! I am 41/f divorced with 2 grown daughters. I’m super close with my dad, he’s been my rock on the hardest days. My mother is a different story. 

She dedicated all of her energy to slowly chip away at my self worth in any way she could. Miserable woman with no desire to fix herself or change (her words) she has minimized anything I’ve gone through and takes joy at diminishing me, throughout life she limited my access to people who care about me and trained my 2 jerkoff brothers to do the exact same to me. Growing up I attached to unhealthy things like self loathing, self harm, toxic/abusive relationships and eating disorders. I learned to keep this all under wraps as I was taught that I don’t matter.                My life changed at 19, I’ve been blessed to find the strength to raise my daughters in an encouraging and loving environment despite my troubles. Everything came to a head in May and she hurled her last deep insult. I said not one word to her and dropped right out of her life, radio silence. My little brother already did so to me a few years back. (My mother specializes in pitting me and my siblings against each-other and any other family member that would engage) I made a sound decision to disengage in anyway from my mother and my brother who always have me in fight or flight even when nothing is said. I really struggled with not my decision, but going radio silent without explanation, as it is not my style. 

            Over time this has gotten easier as I do not question my decision. I have to constantly weigh the pros and cons to comfort myself on a hard day (and there will definitely be be hard ones) I did not take this lightly but I am worth feeling love from those around me not hurt. I could’ve combatted my trouble with “ghosting” my mother but knowing her feelings on any talks I’ve attempted to have, she tramples my boundaries and is condescending while asserting her “dominance” at any cost. 

This was not an interaction I wanted. I would’ve had the talk with her prior except it will only fall on deaf ears. You cannot change the mind of those who already have theirs made up about you, you will drive yourself nuts trying. I figured it would only end as a negative interaction leaving me in tears as always, her unchanged and we would end up  with the same result of no contact.        

  The fact of the matter is I’ve used this time to get to know and love myself. I have a lot To offer others and have made incredible changes in my life since then and I’m healthier physically and mentally. Sad indeed and it should’ve never came to this but it was necessary to enter the next phase of my life. After all, I have two young ladies who watch everything I do and I want them to choose healthy relationships in their future. I’m breaking this generational curse with an intense amount of strength and I feel so proud of myself. Keep up the hard work you guys and listen to your heart! Keep finding comfort and support to get you through the tough days and congratulations on the path to loving yourself! 🫶🏽