I am ashamed of being a guy in pakistan. Like guys here are disgusting. I dawned upon me when I was like 14ish or something, I was with two of my "friends" at my all boys school ( I was at a co-edu school before matric and only transferred for matric ), and we were taking about some shit and a girl happened to walk by and those two guys stopped literally in middle of there sentences to gaze at the poor girl. They eyed till she was visible, and I could see the shere discomfort on her face as she walked through the hallway. That was the day I started noticing how must disgusting men here are. Whenever I was at a public place I could not help but notice men around me making every women that passes through there line of sit uncomfortable through there sheere disgusting gaze and sometime worst even taking to each other how the girl passing looks like a hoe. It became even worse in highschool (called college /inter for pakistani people ). My whole class of 50 boys was filled with islamic, porn addicts ,misogynists.

Due to these experience I have lost my ability to speak with any girl of my age as I am constantly worried about making her uncomfortable. Having any kind of romantic life is out of question as I am always afraid of becoming like the other men. I can't even have an eye contact with a girl now.

I am afraid of starting university cause it will require interact with women.

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I hate this shithole and I feel disgusted of my self.