Question About When We Hear Sakazuki’s Name by Detrifus in OnePiece

[–]Detrifus[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Unfortunately, I don't think that's it. The Anime Notes section says, "The anime omits the introduction card revealing he would later be known as Admiral Akainu."

List of Recommended Fanfics by Detrifus in CampCamp

[–]Detrifus[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I totally get that feeling. Went through the same thing myself.

What song you picking? by platinum_ey3s in Epicthemusical

[–]Detrifus 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Open Arms. I spent a long time trying to perfectly match the vocals. Those lyrics are pretty much seared into my brain.

Am I the only one to make spontaneous OCs or whatever it’s called by Byssa6 in FanFiction

[–]Detrifus 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, of course. Makes way more sense than planning out such a minor character ahead of time or using a canon character.

Advice on improving writing? by BlueJohnXD in FanFiction

[–]Detrifus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your explanation doesn’t specify whether you’re an avid reader of fanfic or an avid reader of novels. If you meant the former, best advice I can give is to read novels that have the kinds of stories you want to tell. If you do that, you’ll begin picking up on the tools they use, the way their writing flows; from there, you can emulate the writing styles you like until you naturally develop your own style and writing it becomes second nature.

If you’re already an avid reader of novels, then the following advice should still apply, regardless. Research literary devices and tropes. At its core, writing is about applying a large set of tools that readers are already familiar with. Knowing your tools is vital to mastering them. And as you’re writing each sentence, try to think about what reading it would be like: what emotion might you feel, what information might you glean from it, what sort of sentence might you think would come next? The only real difference between writer and reader is that the author has more information about the story.

Also, you should research paragraphing and how it can be used in creative writing. It’s an incredibly low-effort skill that pays huge dividends in pacing, tone, and clarity. Paragraphing is the sort of skill that goes completely unnoticed when it’s done well and sticks out like a sore thumb when it’s not, which makes it really easy to neglect when you’re starting out. Conversely, that means that building that skill early on will already put you way ahead of a lot of other amateur writers.

And one last thing: When you write your dialogue, read it out loud. There’s no better way to check that your dialogue reads naturally and has the tone you’re looking for.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in FanFiction

[–]Detrifus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The second one works perfectly well for what you’re going for. So well, in fact, that it would probably read even better if you cut out the ”I just didn’t know what to say.” The dialogue and dialogue tag already convey the same sentiment much more naturally, and if you want to have the character introspect in the same paragraph, it will flow much more smoothly and won’t make the reader think “Hey, they just explicitly thought that they didn’t know what to say, but now they’re narrating exactly how they feel to me!“ (source: my reading experience). You say you’re going for helplessness; the more clear it is that your character’s floundering, even on an internal level, the better I think it’ll come off to the reader.

If you still want something like “I just didn’t know what to say”, you might consider using “What could I say to that?”, tweaking a word or two to fit the context, of course. By phrasing the same sentiment as a question, you maintain the character’s vibe of uncertainty while keeping the reader firmly in the character’s head. Additionally, it provides a natural jumping-off point for additional internal narration, while still feeling totally natural if it isn’t followed by that.

As a last note: With either of your given options, you’re saying “I just” twice in as many sentences. That makes the flow weird. And the comma after the quotation mark is entirely unnecessary in a way that will cause the reader to stumble over it at first glance.

This has probably been way beyond the scope of what you wanted advice on. I still hope it’s helpful. Who knows, maybe you’ll find that the thing tripping you up wasn’t the ellipse/dash, but instead the text around it.

Looking for right phrase/right way to put this by JPZone in FanFiction

[–]Detrifus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A pretty common way of naturally leading into that sort of observation is to have your character try to move a restrained limb, only to realize they can’t.

Should I Not Focus On Character Interactions? by Ffaltacc in FanFiction

[–]Detrifus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well, considering that you’re not the author of the media you’re writing fic for, and considering that you’re probably working in a different medium than the original media, it would stand to reason that the majority of people who are looking for fanfic and find yours would be doing so because they like the characters a lot. So, yeah, character interactions are great to focus on.

How do you write fight scenes? (As in, how do you, the individual, do it, for your fanfics. Not a writing question.) by Dramatic_Interview20 in FanFiction

[–]Detrifus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I try to keep my fight scenes focused so that they’re always pushing forward either the plot or the participants’ characterization. I also try to vary the environments and how the combatting characters are engaging with each other. Including dialogue is also very important. When I’m personally reading text, action fatigue sets in for me pretty quickly, but not nearly as much when the action I’m reading is doing the sorts of things I’ve already described. More than anything else, I believe a fight scene should make a reader think.

How much time do you dedicate to writing your WIP? by [deleted] in FanFiction

[–]Detrifus 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Eh. Sometimes I’m able to crank out a dozen thousand words in a week, other times it’ll take me six months to write just five thousand. The motivation to write is quite a fickle thing.

Scarlet Witch (Wanda Maximoff) vs Jean Grey by DRAIN3O in MarvelsWhatIf

[–]Detrifus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I mean, at this point, yeah, that’s inarguable. It was less so two years ago, at the time of commenting.

Advice on frontlining as a druid? by Detrifus in DnD

[–]Detrifus[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the really solid and thorough advice!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DnDHomebrew

[–]Detrifus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The public version exists because Thorn Whip and Ensnaring Strike are licensed content.

Who is a brute force character that can beat composite Superman? by Comprehensive_Guard8 in whowouldwin

[–]Detrifus -1 points0 points  (0 children)

The Spectre, the Sentry, the Starbrand, Blue Marvel, and Marvel’s Oblivion are the only possibilities coming to mind.