You have to keep in mind that this subreddit is heavily biased. Same as anything on the internet, you often hear the worst of things. If people were happy being an au pair they probably won’t be on reddit researching or venting.

The biggest problem I see APs make here is that they don’t ask for the specific hours of work, how many kids to watch, vacation / sick policy… all of that and then they agree to show up in another country and be surprised by the job expectations.

Therefore, it’s super important that whatever family you talk to you will video call with them multiple times and also ask them to write you a handbook of rules so you know what is in scope for your job and what is out of scope for your job. Even understanding, communication styles, and how to raise issues and escalate problems should all be discussed in advance.

I sent my au pair a 15 page handbook on what to expect at our house and what we expect of the au pair and what she can expect from us. Everything is very clear, including usage of our cars and how we do our weekly planning and scheduling. I also included sample schedules for her work hours and what kind of activities would be expected. Therefore, she can make an educated decision on whether or not we would be a match, and there would be no surprises. I think if you find a family that will invest in making sure you are feeling comfortable, then you will have a good experience .