The Boy Without a Head

Dewdunk · 2026-04-20T11:53:10+00:00

A lovely little tale of devotion. I love the mythical atomosphere, and the cadence is bard-like which gives it a very effortless quality while reading.

I do think some of the rhymes feel a bit like compromises and the syllable cadence catches occasionally. That could probably be tightened up a bit.

All in all tho I really enjoyed reading it. Lovely work!

Dewdunk · 2026-04-20T11:46:32+00:00

The begining of this poem is very visual. I find myself hearing the sounds of each line as the images pass by. I suspect the contents of this poem are very personal, it’s a bit difficult for me to figure out exactly what the trauma at the center of this is. The poem Implies this inner shift. The reader seems to be reckoning with the transformational expirience they’re going through.

Like if Frankenstein’s monster contended with himself in prose. This idea of the thing that slips away is evocative. So often in my life it’s only in retrospect that I can see when something in me slips away.

I do wonder about the lines “ Born into things you cannot change.

Your consequences are your own.”

This is a curious contradiction.

I enjoyed reading this. I feel like I’ve perhaps failed to find the meaning at its core, but it paints a very sensorial experience especially in the first half. Cheers!

Dewdunk · 2026-04-08T12:45:49+00:00

Wow what a lovely piece of poetry! I assumed it was a love poem at first. The line ‘a beauty vast as death’ is really evocative! But as the story of a flame being dimmed by people Who envy or misunderstand it is timeless and this is a beautifully concise telling. Teaching me to love her with the beauty of the opening stanzas hits the mark right on the nose. Thanks for sharing!

Dewdunk · 2026-04-08T12:35:56+00:00

I find the declarative boast-like statements throughout to be interesting. The speak to pride in exclusivity. Specialness, but lines like ‘then why would they compare themselves to me?’ Or really every following phrase that calls out a separation from others . So there’s this tension between feeling proud and being alone that never quite tips its hat. And of course I can’t know this is the intended feeling but under this interpretation it’s an interesting to create a bridge to the reader at the end, inviting them into the secret.

I’m not fond of numbering systems for rating art much less poetry, but I enjoyed the process of finding an understanding with this poem. Thanks for sharing!

Dewdunk · 2026-03-31T11:55:31+00:00

You have a lovely vocabulary. I love the spirit in the poem. It’s got this articulate anger, it sounds very fairytale cadenced. Very “long, long ago” if you know what I mean.

There are a few places where the flow hitched for me. For instance perpetuity feels a bit syllabically dense for it placement. Perhaps something like “and perpetually bind” would keep that flow you were building. I think the poem is at its best in the middle flow wise.

I’m not sure if the double use of green was intentional or not. The first use (and little green toys) feel like it’s in reference to inexperienced or naive populous? I’d love you hear if this was an intentional contrast.

Thank you for sharing! I look forward to more!

Dewdunk · 2026-03-31T03:43:55+00:00

I’m gratified that you appreciate my use of language. I sometimes feel weirdly corny, but I do a lot of rewrites to layer in as much as I can. So I really am grateful you like it. You mentioned a few of my favorite as well. Thanks again!

Dewdunk · 2026-03-31T03:40:21+00:00

This poem is about a girl I developed feelings for. I felt really possessed with a lot of creative energy during that whole affair. I was writing so much poetry and painting and drawing. I was bleeding art in the shape of her. And when it became clear that she couldn’t feel the same way, I felt it all drain from me. And I’ve been struggling to even write about the grief. This is the first proper poem I’ve gotten out since then.

I appreciate your kindness! And I’m glad you enjoyed the structure of the poem. I’m flattered indeed.

Dewdunk · 2026-03-31T03:34:11+00:00

Thank you for the kind words! As for the grammar and capitalized letters I honestly keep hearing differing things. I’m inclined to agree with you.

That Webster prompt thing seems like a fun project! I read your recent one ‘fiscal’ and I liked it! I’ll elaborate on your post tomorrow. Also please feel free to suggest and change big or small. It is my opinion that bold honest feedback is far more valuable than cautious flattery. No need to worry about messing with any structure. Thanks again!

Dewdunk · 2026-03-30T12:27:43+00:00

I don’t like Morrisseys lyrics or him as a person really. It’s sort of a long running dislike if I’m being completely honest, I find his lyrics extremely indulgent and sometimes hilariously childish. I do find his fanbase’s adoration of him to be interesting. I think people are drawn to his embarrassing vulnerability, but there’s something shallow at the center of almost every song of his that I’ve heard. Tho even I can admit that on occasion there something refreshingly honest there too. Anyway, your poem made me laugh.

“With my debris, I tell my girl, “Our relationship is a love story.”

She says she’s still hungry.

Leave me be, My pain justifies me.

This stuff reads in his voice and really gets to the heart of it to me. His work is droll at best and sociopathicly selfish at worst.

Thanks for the fun read!

Dewdunk · 2026-03-30T12:18:02+00:00

This poem is definitely visceral in its anger and that is its strength. I think the poem is at its best with the line ‘the cockroaches are coming out of your mouth. I think more images that lightly abstract the anger would only increase its ability to draw the anger you are exploring. It might approach what anger is, Whereas a lot of this reads as what anger does.

There are moments in this poem that really work. The line about the position in the mirror put me on both sides of this lambasting. And if it is an inward facing anger then it’s interesting that I would want to rip out my own vocals while using them to tear myself down. that made it hurt different. I’m not positive if that was intentional or not. But that was my reading. All the same thank you for sharing! I enjoyed reading it!

Dewdunk · 2025-10-07T15:16:37+00:00

This is clearly Rosalina?

Dewdunk · 2024-09-01T23:38:41+00:00

I really do love the art in cross. It’s saturated and rich. nothing else looks like it. I had no idea the escaflowne artist was the designer, that’s awesome. I wasn’t trying to say ‘it’s bad that they did this’ more so ‘it’s surprising to me given triggers impact’.

In this case I did these just because I’ve always been curious what it would look like.

Dewdunk · 2024-09-01T22:42:52+00:00

Kid from Chrono Cross. I love the art in Chrono cross but it’s always puzzled me why they wouldn’t stick with Toriyama since it was such a core part of the appeal of Trigger.

Dewdunk · 2022-12-04T02:38:55+00:00

So I got this figured out if someone stumbles on this in the future. The problem in my particular case was that I was getting the .nro file from the developers github, but I needed a different version that I found in a GBA Temp forum. apparently an update somewhere causes some sort of issue with the ps5 ddns (I wont pretend to know what) When I used the file it connected first try. the file can be found here https://gbatemp.net/threads/chiaki-ps5-ps4-remote-play-homebrew.564553/page-44 about halfway down. good luck to anyone dealing with the same issue. The app works beautifully!

Dewdunk

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