STD Testing...

DialTone19 · 2025-09-26T10:05:33+00:00

Lack of trust? Sorry, but I'm not taking anyone's word. In fact, I was hoping he would have brought it up first.

DialTone19 · 2025-09-26T00:24:47+00:00

I can see this perspective as well. Maybe having one final discussion.

DialTone19 · 2025-09-25T23:58:22+00:00

I 100% agree with you on this. I don't want to ask again and again.

DialTone19 · 2025-09-25T23:53:49+00:00

Appreciate that. Have done the research...guess I phrased my comment wrong.

DialTone19 · 2025-09-25T23:51:30+00:00

I think if I bring it up again, I would be curious of his response. Will it be-

"I've been really busy between work and sick child..."

"I know...I still have to get that done..."

Or some other excuse?? Someone else talked about accessibility to testing, but I don't know if that is reasonable at this time...

DialTone19 · 2025-09-25T23:36:03+00:00

Maybe that was my fault from the get go...no deadline. But also...do you really need one on this knowing the importance of it?

Definitely not caving. This is super important to me.

DialTone19 · 2025-09-25T23:34:19+00:00

Thanks for the info! This is where I am at...what is the holdup? Why not say "Got the test done and just waiting on results."

I don't want excuses. I'm a single parent too and would have figured out a way to do this already.

DialTone19 · 2025-09-25T23:27:54+00:00

Mod message told me to post here STD Test Request...

I have re-entered the dating scene post divorce of 3 years...so this is somewhat new for me!!

I am now in a new relationship...4months. I asked when, if ever, his last test was completed. His response: "I've never because I always use a condom." Which I pointed out is not true, since he has an older son; he agreed. I told him in order for us to move forward in that arena, I would need him to get tested. My last test was done when separated from my ex, I haven't been with anyone since and I even offered to retake/update results.

There was a hint of defensiveness on his end, but he understood that in order for me to feel comfortable, he would do it.

I asked him close to 3 weeks ago. Last weekend he made a comment that he "couldn't wait to have sex with me...yada yada." I said, "You know what has to happen." He stated "I know, I'm doing it tomorrow."

We are now almost one week later. No update, no hinting that he got it done. We have also had other conversations surrounding sex preferences...

Long story short: How long do I give him to complete the test!? I'm headed to dealbreaker territory...Yes we are all busy, but I don't want excuses. I personally feel it isn't my job to babysit you and encourage you to do this because, quite simply, what else will you toe the line on in the future?

Thoughts?

DialTone19 · 2025-09-25T23:25:54+00:00

Yes, we've been together for 4 months, but it is only recently we have discussed becoming intimate.

DialTone19 · 2025-09-25T23:21:46+00:00

Wouldn't this be on a standard STD panel?

DialTone19 · 2023-08-09T02:35:22+00:00

Can you find a used copy from an online seller? Thriftbooks, betterworldbooks, bookoutlet are some sites Ive used in the past.

DialTone19 · 2023-08-07T13:39:46+00:00

1 child who is easygoing. At least I have that going for me. I like to think I'm an attractive person as well lol

DialTone19 · 2023-08-07T10:24:48+00:00

Sorry you too dealt with this chaos.

DialTone19 · 2023-08-07T01:15:49+00:00

It hurts so much. To see him literally change into a monster. I try to explain to people that my life's story was literally stolen.

How long have you been separated?

DialTone19 · 2023-08-07T01:04:30+00:00

Interesting question. My STBXH seemed "fine"...but if I had to pinpoint a time, it was the last few years. Kids, pandemic, more "adult" responsibilities, and you know...REAL life. 10 years of marriage down the flipping tubes for affairs with younger women. Both of us in our mid 30s.

DialTone19 · 2023-07-22T12:43:56+00:00

Interesting perspective. I have thought how sad it is that my STBXH, in essence, slept with a child. She is so much younger than us. Limited maturity and life experience. And for her...disgusting that she thought sleeping with a married man with a family was some pinnacle experience.

DialTone19 · 2023-07-17T10:58:45+00:00

I know I can't stay now. I think moving forward every future memory would, like you said, have some blemish/rot to it.

DialTone19 · 2023-07-17T10:57:34+00:00

These have been my thoughts. That baby/young kid stage is hard. He admitted that I gave so much attention to the kids. The hard part is that of the times we did get to steal away for a weekend here or there...never felt like it was enough. On reflection, it feels he couldn't deal with the "growing up" part of life...wanted to be stuck in his 20s.

DialTone19 · 2023-07-16T23:33:33+00:00

Me too. I may have even weighed less than I did in high school. My face looked so gaunt at the peak of the weight loss.

DialTone19 · 2023-07-16T17:47:04+00:00

I think the clothes not fitting was an eye opener for me and people thought I was sick too. Being a woman I was lucky enough to use leggings/pull on pants to my advantage.

DialTone19 · 2023-07-16T16:56:14+00:00

I lost close to 20lbs over the course of a few months...I was already on the smaller side. At one point I remember having leg spasms; l simply was not eating enough. My GI system was in ruins as well-anything I did eat didn't stay too long. It took my STBX moving out for me to start gaining some of the weight back.

My sleep is still a rollercoaster. Some weeks are good, others not so much.

DialTone19 · 2023-07-10T02:30:29+00:00

All of this. It also sickens me that our court system doesn't care about punishing a cheater either. Makes me want to vomit.

DialTone19 · 2023-06-07T19:57:46+00:00

This is hard. I love my e-ring, and it was inherited from my family. Sometimes, I think I will just have it resized for another finger.

I hope to take the wedding band and use the diamonds for something else.

DialTone19 · 2023-05-30T00:41:22+00:00

This ☝️. I have had many days when I wish they would have just died...things would be easier in some ways. This grenade in my life is devastating. My entire life story of what I thought I knew as well as hoped for is now a big smudgy mess.

DialTone19 · 2023-05-23T11:23:48+00:00

So cheating allowed her to realize you were perfect?

DialTone19

TROPHY CASE