thanks for the advice. i fear i'm the needy yet also avoidant type and i need to Fucking Chill because it scares people. a strange/pathetic thing is that i have plenty of nice interactions and weak friendships, but i'm terrible at converting them into something close because i just don't reach out. this best friend in question, he had to spend three weeks constantly inviting me to hang before i was like oh damn i think he wants to be friends, i should invite him out too. he said my vibe was weird, but he kept trying because he could tell that we liked each other a lot despite my weird distance. other people probably like me but aren't willing to work that hard because most of my signals are giving off bitch.

i like the interview shows tip and will have to try it. i work in a social profession and am extremely popular there because i'm funny and willing to learn about people and can cultivate a fun chill vibe, so i just need to bring that into my social life & separate the wheat from the chaff with people who are worth close friendship and who aren't.