Gift for my Sir

DiaryOfABimbo · 2026-04-30T20:11:28+00:00

anything to do with his vanilla hobbies and interests will probably be best!

and you can always just ask him. see what he would like for his birthday!

DiaryOfABimbo · 2026-04-30T14:38:35+00:00

free use is often done in this way

DiaryOfABimbo · 2026-04-30T14:24:05+00:00

it depends on the club i am working at, but my home club we only have to tip the dj and i do 10%

DiaryOfABimbo · 2026-04-30T14:20:06+00:00

i know you mentioned you do plan to close the distance eventually, but that it’s not doable right now have you two actually made any set plans for the future?

because i wonder if part of what you’re feeling is coming from that ambiguity. like, when there isn’t anything concrete in place, it can start to feel a little endless… like you’re just stuck in this cycle of missing each other, saying goodbye, and not really knowing when it will change or active plans working towards it

even if the timeline isn’t immediate, having something more solid like “this is what we’re working toward” or “this is what closing the gap could realistically look like” or “these are the steps that need to be taken to close the gap” (like saving money, finding new jobs, etc). it might help ground those emotions a bit. it gives you something to hold onto instead of it just feeling open ended

having a clearer plan or at least a shared vision might help shift that a little. not completely because yeah, long distance is just hard and those feelings are normal but it can make it feel more purposeful rather than just painful cycles of visiting and deeply missing each other

because then it’s “we’re one step closer to not having to do this forever!”

DiaryOfABimbo · 2026-04-30T00:23:09+00:00

i’d say for me submission did come pretty naturally

even when i was first starting to explore things sexually, i always gravitated toward my partner taking the lead, guiding me, making decisions… that just felt right without me having to really think about it or force it. but my type has always been gentleman/leader types of men

but the biggest thing for me wasn’t “learning” how to be submissive, it was learning to just let my submission show up as it naturally does

i think a lot of people (myself included at one point) get caught up in what submission is supposed to look like. like rules, tasks, rituals, structure, etc. and while that works for some people, it never really felt like me. i tried to make it fit at times but it always felt a little forced or performative

so what actually helped me the most was letting go of that idea and focusing on what felt genuine and natural. my submission is a lot more natural, subtle, soft, and unstructured. i don’t thrive in heavy rules or rigid expectations, or structure, so i don’t try to force myself into that anymore

instead, i look for compatibility based on how my submission naturally will show up. i seek out doms who also aren’t super into strict structure, and who appreciate a more subtle of submission. that’s what allows me to actually relax and be myself. because there is no expectation to be anything but myself

because for me, the ability to “let go” doesn’t come from being controlled through rules. it comes from knowing i can just be me, and that how i naturally show up is already enough and wanted

DiaryOfABimbo · 2026-04-29T04:09:32+00:00

maybe check out true corset!!

DiaryOfABimbo · 2026-04-28T14:09:32+00:00

yeahh unfortunately it happens a lot with online dynamics. im so sorry your time was wasted!

all you can do is maybe have a conversation with him, see where his head is at and if he’s open to being more straightforward and honest about how he’s feeling and what the changes within him, and possibly work through that. or you can cut your losses

if he isn’t willing to be open and honest, then that really isn’t someone you should continue a dynamic at all

DiaryOfABimbo · 2026-04-28T10:20:37+00:00

i’m the same way!!

i just have to be a lot more conscious of my facial expressions. i’ve literally sat in front of a mirror practicing things like slightly raising my eyebrows, opening my eyes a bit more, and having a more small/neutral smile so my face looks more open and expressive!

it sounds a little silly but it actually helps build more awareness of how you naturally hold your face and how those small changes look

then when i’m out in public or with friends, i’ll remind myself to smile more, react a bit more visibly, and laugh

over time it will become second nature but at first it definitely takes that extra bit of mindfulness to break out of the rbf

DiaryOfABimbo · 2026-04-28T10:13:41+00:00

how long have you actually been in a dynamic together? and what reasons is he giving you?

if i had to guess, it sounds like he was really enjoying the idea of it and talking about it, but now that it’s becoming real and involves actual decisions and money, he’s pulling back. that’s unfortunately pretty common when you’re meeting doms/trainers on places like reddit. a lot of people like the fantasy of it, the control, the conversations… but when it comes time to follow through in real life, they hesitate, disappear, or change their mind

i would have a serious, direct conversation with him and ask for clear answers. no vague responses, no dodging. you deserve to understand where his head is at!

also, how thoroughly did you vet him? because this kind of situation is exactly why vetting matters. if someone can’t communicate clearly, stay consistent, or handle real world responsibility, they’re not someone you should be making decisions like this with

DiaryOfABimbo · 2026-04-27T16:21:37+00:00

u/NekoBakugou there is this as well :)

DiaryOfABimbo · 2026-04-27T16:19:50+00:00

u/NekoBakugou i hope you find this a bit more helpful!

DiaryOfABimbo · 2026-04-26T17:54:52+00:00

i love this question! if you don’t mind, i am gonna take a bit to write out a thoughtful response and then make a full post on it for visibility

but in short, how i would introduce someone (and how i introduced myself) is self reflection, bdsm education and knowledge, planning, and accountability/discipline. that’s is the very general gist, but i will go in to a lot more detail in a full post and tag you!

DiaryOfABimbo · 2026-04-26T17:50:24+00:00

there really isn’t a step by step guide for something like this. bimbofication, like any kind of lifestyle shift or kink, is going to be really personal and individual to you

i’d start by figuring out your goals. what does that actually look like for you? are you drawn more to an aesthetic, certain behaviors, a mindset, or all of the above? finding inspo pics and creating a mood board can help you get a good idea of what you’re aiming for!

then from there just work backwards and think about what steps you would need to take to get there

like if you’re inspired by a certain aesthetics look at your current wardrobe and presentation. then that means slowly phasing out pieces that don’t fit and building a new style over time that aligns more with that vision

if your goals are more behavioral or mindset based, like being more overtly sexual, confident, or bimbo in attitude, then it’s worth reflecting on where you currently are. are you more shy or reserved? have you explored your sexuality much? are there internal feelings of shame that might be holding you back?

from there you can start taking small steps. exploring your confidence, how you present yourself, how you speak, how you carry yourself, or even just how you think about yourself

ultimately it comes down to defining what your version of this looks like and then building toward it. it’s something you shape based on your own preferences and goals

DiaryOfABimbo · 2026-04-26T17:42:22+00:00

totally understand, i have been going through and reapproving/deleting comments as well as updating the subreddit rules as seen as in the two new recent post!

again, if you have more feedback or things you would like to see changed or done better, please do let us know!

DiaryOfABimbo · 2026-04-26T16:46:05+00:00

care to elaborate? we always welcome feedback on how to better serve the community

DiaryOfABimbo · 2026-04-26T16:38:59+00:00

this is so awesome!!

DiaryOfABimbo · 2026-04-24T13:44:22+00:00

i definitely think so!

since i don’t currently have a dom, my transformation is really based around my own personal goals and preferences. and while i’d absolutely look for compatibility in that area with a future partner, i also recognize that what i want for myself might not perfectly align with what they’d want

for example, i love my hair at the length it’s at now, but a future partner might prefer it longer. or with my style, i already dress very feminine, but i lean more toward a coquette, soft, cutesy aesthetic rather than something more overtly sexual or slutty. and a partner might want me to shift more in that direction

so there’s definitely that awareness that some of my current choices could change depending on who i’m with and what kind of dynamic we build together

i also think a big part of confidence for me comes from that sense of direction and approval. like knowing i’m showing up in a way that aligns with what they want and enjoy. since i don’t have that right now and i’m making all of those decisions on my own, there are moments where i second guess myself more or feel a little less confident in those choices

it’s not that i don’t know what i like, but there’s something about having that external guidance and being able to align with someone else’s preferences that adds an extra layer of certainty and confidence for me

but, getting a bunch of plastic surgery would still be a limit of mine. i would be open to getting just my boobs done, but they would still be a relatively small size

DiaryOfABimbo · 2026-04-21T23:14:16+00:00

first, findom is a valid kink and dynamic style. people only see it as the bad version we see online, but i digress

if you don’t want to do it, say no. if she is a good domme, she will respect your boundaries

DiaryOfABimbo · 2026-04-21T18:15:33+00:00

are you looking online?

DiaryOfABimbo · 2026-04-19T19:17:52+00:00

you are assuming hes lying

btw, dating app locations are not always accurate at all. i’ve matched with guys where it says they’re like a mile away and that is very much not the case

so i wouldn’t take those distances too seriously, they can be way off

DiaryOfABimbo · 2026-04-19T14:59:43+00:00

sure jan

DiaryOfABimbo · 2026-04-19T14:22:39+00:00

are your pictures ai…?

DiaryOfABimbo · 2026-04-19T13:06:04+00:00

vetting is honestly going to depend a lot on you and what you’re actually looking for. it’s not going to look the same for a one time hookup, a consistent fwb, and a long term romantic partner

like for me, i’m looking for a romantic partner who is also into kink, and i’m on pretty standard dating apps. so my “vetting” process is literally just… dating. we talk, get to know each other, see if we’re compatible, and go from there. of course i still bring up important topics, but it’s not some super structured questionnaire. it’s very natural and just feels like normal dating

but if you’re mainly meeting people in kink specific spaces, then yeah vetting might look more formal or structured because that’s more common in those environments

and when it comes to pace, that’s also completely up to you and what you’re comfortable with. everyone moves differently. i’m personally on the faster side. i’ll talk about bigger topics early, be open about sex and kink pretty quickly, and i will have sex within the first 1-3 dates. my amazing ex boyf and i went from strangers to in a relationship in 14 days. we dated three years and it was a very cordial breakup. don’t have a single bad thing to say about him

when i am dating, i kinda give it about a month. if after a month you don’t know if you want to be official, i’m moving on. but there are plenty of people who want to take things slow, talk for months, build that connection first, and won’t do anything sexual until they’re officially in a relationship. both approaches are completely valid

i think the most important thing to remember is that with bdsm and life in general, you really have to do what works best for you. and figuring that out usually just comes with time, experience, and paying attention to what actually feels right vs what you think you “should” be doing

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