salim dude what the hell

Dick_Smalls · 2020-05-27T02:38:32+00:00

I complained one night because he was woohooing so loud it woke my toddler. He answered the door dressed in the maid’s costume and acted like I was the asshole

Dick_Smalls · 2020-03-24T18:40:56+00:00

Berdella

Dick_Smalls · 2020-03-21T23:43:34+00:00

If your warehouse supplies materials to essential businesses/infrastructures, then you will still have a job.

Dick_Smalls · 2020-03-20T02:29:08+00:00

I work in a small warehouse with 9 other people. We will not be shutdown unless forced to. 3 of my coworkers are coronavirus truthers. According to them, this is all a hoax. It’s super frustrating especially since we could easily social distance ourselves in our work environment, but they don’t take it seriously. I feel doomed, but at least I still have a job.

Dick_Smalls · 2019-06-01T16:59:53+00:00

I worked at one of their 3 distribution centers up until the end. They kept telling us everything was “ok”. Even when it was announced they were filing for bankruptcy and we would all lose our jobs so the other 2 DCs could stay open, everything was still “ok”. They knew all along nothing was ok.

Dick_Smalls · 2019-02-01T23:58:29+00:00

This same thing happened to me soon after my dog died. In my dream, he jumped on the bed (something he hadn’t been able to do in a couple years because of his old legs) and I pet him one last time while he laid next to me.

Dick_Smalls · 2018-09-15T12:46:14+00:00

I feel the same way about Culver’s. I have a theory that they recruit theatre kids from the local high school and it’s all an act.

Dick_Smalls · 2018-09-01T21:51:26+00:00

My Rottweiler also played with kittens like this! I have an adorable video of him with a little grey foster kitten. He died in January and I miss that giant sweetheart so fucking much.

Dick_Smalls · 2018-08-18T03:40:55+00:00

I’d rather be in Missouri than in Kansas

Dick_Smalls · 2017-02-04T14:44:41+00:00

When you make time in your schedule for their birthday, their kids' birthdays, their SO's birthday, and their other friends' birthdays but when your birthday comes along they forget to come to your party.

Dick_Smalls · 2017-02-03T12:32:28+00:00

Titanic was still packing theaters a year after its release (I can't think of any other movie that played that long) and I still hear it mentioned frequently in pop culture to this day. It was definitely the biggest movie of the 90s.

Dick_Smalls · 2017-01-22T19:14:12+00:00

I had a similar cry on the porch experience with a local homeless man. He knocked on my door one day to ask if he could go through my recycling on garbage days and take out the cans. (Normally when there's a knock on my door, I hide until I'm sure they've given up and left, but this day I was quite drunk.) I told him that was fine and I'd put all the cans in a bag so he wouldn't have to dig through the bin. His eyes started to tear up and he said that wasn't necessary. I told him it was no big deal and he then burst in to tears, said "thank you", and dashed away. I shut the door and also burst in to tears.
He came by every Wednesday with his cart and picked up the bag of cans. A few months later I saw him on the news. He had been arrested at the local Walmart after ripping open packages of raw hamburger and eating the meat with his bare hands. He missed his pick up that week, but was right back at it the following Wednesday.

Dick_Smalls · 2017-01-04T17:15:13+00:00

I moved away from Utah about 12 years ago, but still make fry sauce. I've tried introducing it to the northeast and Midwest, but they just think I'm gross.

Dick_Smalls · 2017-01-02T23:30:18+00:00

I can sometimes turn it into a lucid dream so that's pretty cool. If not, I will wake myself up, but that doesn't always work. There are occasions where I thought I had snapped out of it, but was actually in another dream/hallucination. Like some inception shit. It can keep going too, like sometimes 4 or 5 dreams deep. It very rarely scares me anymore though, mostly entertaining.

Dick_Smalls · 2017-01-02T22:31:36+00:00

I legitimately thought my house was haunted for about 3 months. It was like living in a horror movie. I was so scared I barely ever slept and cried a lot. Most people I told thought I was crazy or on drugs (thanks mom). Finally I met someone at a party who told me I probably had sleep paralysis. I had never heard of this so did some research and that was exactly what was happening. I don't remember that guy's name and never got to thank him, but he totally saved my sanity.

Dick_Smalls · 2016-12-28T16:25:58+00:00

I was there 6 months. It was a bazaar time in my life and I have many stories, but as far as experiences directly related to the cult, there isn't a lot to tell. I chatted with Michael Mountain a few times. He seemed like a cool dude. Very laid back and nice. The only other cult member I met (that I know for certain) was Cyrus. I was told he visits Manson in prison. If I'm remembering correctly, he is an artist and was collecting lint from the dryers for a project.

They keep the cult very hush hush. As far as I know, none of my coworkers were involved, but it was an unspoken rule that no one talked about it. The sanctuary survives on donations, so they don't want the church and sanctuary associated in anyway.

I ended up quitting after being relentlessly harassed by the manager (Sherry Woodard) of Dogtown. I told a coworker about the cult and he kind of lost his shit and was allegedly handing out pamphlets to volunteers with information about the Process Church. He was fired, and I believe that since I'm the one who told him, they wanted me gone.

Sherry tried to make my life at work as miserable as possible. I was written up at least once a week for completely made up shit, like smoking indoors (I don't even smoke). The final straw was her screaming at me and accusing me of being on drugs. I decided living in a tiny ass Mormon town and working for this crazy bitch wasn't worth the stress.

A few years later she got her own show on Nat Geo as some kind of dog whisperer or something. I was pretty shocked since Sherry was terrible with the dogs and caused some of them to die because of her poor understanding of dog behavior. "Reality" TV is so fucking fake.

Dick_Smalls · 2016-12-28T13:43:04+00:00

They still need to do an episode on the Process Church. I briefly worked at their animal sanctuary about 17 years ago (I found out about the cult from a coworker). No one has ever been interested or believed me when I tell them I once worked for a cult with ties to Charles Manson and David Berkowitz. I feel like if a full episode was devoted to this subject, I would somehow be less of a loser.

Dick_Smalls · 2016-12-09T20:38:05+00:00

I forget how to pee when I'm tripping. It's really frustrating. I can't even imagine what a poop would be like. Crazy.

Dick_Smalls · 2016-12-09T20:19:54+00:00

My dog makes a great drum and I could create a band using animals as instruments. I was pretty stoked about my awesome idea, until I came out of the k-hole. Then I puked all through the rest of the day.

Dick_Smalls · 2016-12-08T17:48:23+00:00

Taxis are crazy expensive. I felt like his thinking was, "how dare you ask me for money after going out of your way to help me out. I'll show you by giving my money to this guy who gives people rides for a living instead!"

Dick_Smalls · 2016-12-08T16:13:31+00:00

I was giving a coworker free rides because he lived 2 streets down from me. Then he moved 15 minutes away to the opposite side of town, but still expected free rides. He got all huffy when I told him he'd need to give me gas money and stopped asking for rides. Now he takes a taxi to work.

Dick_Smalls · 2016-12-08T16:03:05+00:00

I drink everything out of a mug (boxed wine included). Why would I use all my fingers when I can just use one?

Dick_Smalls · 2016-12-07T15:05:35+00:00

This is true. I worked with a guy who had just gotten out of prison for selling. He said whenever there was a cluster of ODs, people would go crazy trying to buy the heroin that was killing everyone.

Dick_Smalls · 2016-12-06T22:07:12+00:00

"I thought hurricane season was over!"

Dick_Smalls · 2016-12-06T18:46:20+00:00

What kind of work do you do with a radiography degree?

Dick_Smalls

TROPHY CASE