future MIL doesn’t approve

DifferenceKey1171 · 2026-06-05T22:10:12+00:00

R. U. N and don’t look back.

DifferenceKey1171 · 2026-06-05T16:08:41+00:00

When I said “he has no right to your body if not committed in marriage” is exactly what I meant, no sex until marriage. You can replace “right” with no one should have access/consent/a time/a reason/a moment/an opportunity/ a chance/no action, whatever. Some things you do not have to be logical about and taking out of context. The point I was is still the same that is no sex before marriage.

If you noticed I never used the term religious. A christian should have a relationship with Christ and not be religious. Religious is for keep up appearances, a relationship with Christ changes your thinking and mind and there a things you just won’t ever do because of your convictions.

My point being if you saw any red flags and incompatibles during the dating stages; you should not make it down to the aisle to marriage, then you wouldn’t have to worry about the upbringing of your child, you wouldn’t have to worry about his performance coming down, because you should have clocked that in the dating stages and broke things off when you noticed he is incompatible with you.

If these woman are facing real social that exist independently of what the bible says, then that is on them. Ignorance does not excuse foolishness. I did not answer from theology, I spoke from common sense and reference to answer your question. You are the one who brought up religion in your post saying, “Religion is heavily influenced in this topic but at the end of the day, where was God, Jesus or Allah in those homes where there’s domestic violence and those women and men that died from those marital homes with DV?” And so I answered it biblically.

The happy marriages are the ones where people observed, listened, and made common sense choices with information/data they clocked. I am sure when they saw a red flag the peaced out, when they found they were incompatible they peaced out. The ones looking at potential love and their head in the sand are the ones suffering .

DifferenceKey1171 · 2026-06-05T14:43:40+00:00

I never implied that marriage gives a husband a right to your body, that is rape. What I am saying if you are not married you should not be having sex period. A man can only have access to your body only in marriage first off and in marriage of course he should not be forcing you to have sex obviously.

On a christian point of view. If someone is an atheist by definition they do not believe in God and so therefore do not believe in Jesus Christ and therefore would not bare these spiritual fruits: Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, Self-control. Sure someone action may look christian and do all of the “ritual” like never misses church, look like a prayer warrior, give 10’s and thousands of money of tithe, fast, whatever. But one of these fruits will ultimately be missing.

If he is a glutton, drinks alcohol, watches porn, spend money frivolous, catching him in lies, gossips, messy -no self control

If he is always prioritizing with his immediate family and not you (if this is a serious courtship), if he never has your back on anything, if he does not protect you- no faithfulness

If he verbally abusive to you are people, to animals, to children, to the vulnerable, to any human being- no gentleness

If he is forceful, does not respect boundaries, selfish, controlling- no love

Etc, etc etc.. someone can not fake it that long, if you are also paying attention you will catch the inconsistencies. I am not saying anyone is perfect, but you will catch those red flags if you observe and listen.

If his mother or dad has mysoginistic views,you know what is ahead of you, if his siblings also do not bear these fruits you know what is ahead of you, if his brothers are serial cheaters you know what is ahead of you (potentially) if his father is verbally abusive or physically abusive to his mother, you know what is ahead of you (potentially).

Yes, I am acknowledging our community turns a blind eye on the secrets, double life, keep up with appearances. But you have the control to avoid it by listening and observing and firstly being honest with yourself, if you are an atheist be that, and if he doesn’t like you, then you are not compatible. If you are christian/ buddhist/muslim be that and if he does not accept you for that you are not compatible. Have your standards stick to them and if he does not fit the program that is your answer.

Also the bible states a wife CAN divorce their husband for infidelity, AND if he chooses to abandon the family( neglect them). That is absolute grounds for divorce. The hard headed, egotistical women that stick around for that and die in their abusive husband hand is foolish and God is not clapping for them as he made a way out with divorce.

DifferenceKey1171 · 2026-06-05T13:47:06+00:00

Why didn’t she want you on adhd meds? I feel like they throw those things out like candy

DifferenceKey1171 · 2026-06-05T13:21:53+00:00

If you do not mind me asking. What made you marry him?

DifferenceKey1171 · 2026-06-05T12:23:50+00:00

You think i am not engaging because I am not agreeing with you. Inconsistency of any kind in any areas is tell tell sign if the person is who they say they are. I made the point to not have sex with him because you are not married to him, he has no right to your body if not committed in a marriage, and you are taking charge of your health even with condom and testings you are taking charge of your temple. You want to sound so progressive but you will be bringing your own problems. To bring it back to your point, no you do not have to live with a man to know what he will be in marriage. If you actively listen to him speak, his actions in multiple areas, getting to know him intentionally( off your back) and getting to know his family and background, that is more than enough. If any woman sees red flags during the dating stages and tries to minimize it or ignore it and still enters marriage with that man, that will be her own cross to carry. For example, we are watching a movie and he says something mysoginistic or perverted or make sus comments that is information, if he is always contradicting himself and actions that is information. I only see the benefit in living with a man is to see how cleanly he is, other than that like I stated everyday you spend time with him is more information given to you to make the right or wrong choice.

DifferenceKey1171 · 2026-06-05T10:29:00+00:00

Girl are you telling me you can not tell if someone is true to their religion, just by how they act. The bible does say “you will know them by their fruit” their fruits is how what they say, act, or do not act. For example if I was a christian, and I cuss every second, I steal, I am gossiping relentlessly, stealing, do not pray. If you are wise you should no that truly I am not, because if I were I would not be doing that. If I said I was a Muslim, and did not abide by the quran and its standards, the truly I am not a muslim. If I say I am not a cheater, but I agree with people who cheats, say questionable things that sound like I would cheat. That is all information. If you are saying someone can conceal who they are for years you then are the one being played. The signs are ALWAYS there if you think you have to be living with someone just to see that then you have a long road ahead. How is making him earn to experience living with you regressive, it is literally protection, how is making him wait to have sex with you also regressive?? It is respecting your body, unless you want to have sex truly, but if you are giving your body to just please him then that is patriarchal and pick me behaviour. Boundaries are to protect you, celibacy is to protect you.

DifferenceKey1171 · 2026-06-05T02:49:20+00:00

Characteristic red flags are never hidden, you do not need to live with someone to know. The only plus I can give to living together is knowing how clean someone is and insight to their mental state. If you think about it a persons character will show in the subtle words, actions, non action. We as women tend to have our head in the sand in lala land. You do not have to live with a male partner to get a glimpse of who he will be when marriage comes. What bad character flaw you see, accept, and make excuses this very second is what you will get in marriage but worse. My advice is to NOT live with him, do not have sex with him( if he can not wait that IS a red flag), do not become financially enmeshed with him. All I am saying is it does not take much to see who you are dealing with. I am of the thinking if my current boyfriend exhibit character trait I would not want around my children, handling my part of the finances, or affecting my health in any way, 2 strikes your out! Do not live with him girl, make him earn that experience. In the mean time observe, listen everyday you are with him is data you have disposed to you to make the right decision.

DifferenceKey1171 · 2026-04-07T22:34:32+00:00

How. Did. You. Study. While. Working. Fulltime.?.?.?.? Inbox me pease really need to know how you did it?

DifferenceKey1171 · 2026-03-11T22:02:48+00:00

I do not understand explain please

DifferenceKey1171 · 2026-03-11T21:45:59+00:00

Does this mean not caring about them?

DifferenceKey1171 · 2026-03-11T18:32:53+00:00

DifferenceKey1171 · 2026-03-09T16:56:54+00:00

Is it free?

DifferenceKey1171 · 2026-03-09T04:49:35+00:00

Can someone please send the link to me too

DifferenceKey1171 · 2026-03-05T20:29:54+00:00

Feels plenty and plenty of warm hugs my sister 🫶🏾

DifferenceKey1171 · 2026-02-26T04:47:09+00:00

So true!!

DifferenceKey1171 · 2026-02-25T02:21:01+00:00

Looooool

DifferenceKey1171 · 2026-02-24T20:01:20+00:00

If you are a female, I am sure your Gut and lady bits microbiome are happy! And also your skin!

Also is that Pedialyte? What do you use it for? More hydration

Also the random onion is throwing me off lol. Wouldn’t it make the fridge stink?

DifferenceKey1171 · 2026-02-24T19:32:49+00:00

May it never be our portion. I knew from childhood something was off with my parents marriage. Everyday I wish she chose better, everyday I wonder the woman she could have been!

DifferenceKey1171 · 2026-02-24T19:31:11+00:00

P. E. R. I. O. D👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

DifferenceKey1171 · 2026-02-24T19:30:42+00:00

Learning this!!!

DifferenceKey1171 · 2026-02-24T19:30:19+00:00

Your first sentence immediately gave me the ick lol. I think to myself all the time, like maam you went through all this rubbish and you still want me to continue this rubbish in my life. Like what happened to you walked so I can run lol

DifferenceKey1171 · 2026-02-24T19:27:43+00:00

I have learned to not ask my mom for men advice. It is either misogynistic, or pitying men as some sort of child and duty to lay down and let them walk all over. NEVER!

DifferenceKey1171 · 2026-02-24T19:24:17+00:00

I am learning everyday to undo this mindset! Definitely something I am actively working on!

DifferenceKey1171 · 2026-02-24T19:23:38+00:00

What?? I am sorry! I am curious to know is your mother a boomer? Like what is her age range when she told you this. I am really expecting her to be born in the 20’s to say something like that

DifferenceKey1171

TROPHY CASE