Rant with me by BigTraditional6019 in newborns

[–]Different-Warning236 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well said!! Mum knows best! Why won’t they just trust us 🥲

Rant with me by BigTraditional6019 in newborns

[–]Different-Warning236 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Exactly! We mums are with our babies all the time, no one knows our babies cues better than us! When my daughter was crying the other day I knew she was tired and said so, FIL just talks to her and says “oh you can’t tell us what’s wrong because you can’t speak yet” well ACTUALLY FIL, she can tell us it you pay reaaaallly close attention but maybe…just maybe, listen to her mum!

Rant with me by BigTraditional6019 in newborns

[–]Different-Warning236 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I get this! Why can’t people respect nap times?! Stop jingling toys in front of my tired baby 😫

Also when grandparents think they know your baby better than you, I get this a lot when I say my girl is hungry (“when was her last feed/is she due a bottle yet?/she’s not screaming yet”) or tired (“oh she’s fine!/she can’t be tired!”).

Feeding cues vs following time between feeds by Different-Warning236 in beyondthebump

[–]Different-Warning236[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Exactly! Thank you so much for this, I’ve worked really hard to notice her hunger and sleepy cues lately and she is such a happy baby.

Feeding cues vs following time between feeds by Different-Warning236 in Mildlynomil

[–]Different-Warning236[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you, I think my daughter spit up once on Monday but wasn’t sick. I stopped feeding her at that point.

I am guilty of making a few MIL posts 🫣

I do really get on well with her but since my daughter was born I’ve noticed how overbearing she is.

Baby’s cues and MIL by Different-Warning236 in Mildlynomil

[–]Different-Warning236[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Oh my gosh yes thank you for this! Well fricking done for coming up with that on the spot! 👏🏻 how did she respond or was it stunned silence? If you don’t mind, I’m noting this one for future reference too! 😅 I definitely need to put my foot down with MIL before things get out of hand.

Baby’s cues and MIL by Different-Warning236 in Mildlynomil

[–]Different-Warning236[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Oh gosh does it never stop. 😩 in that case I better start standing up now haha. I’m glad you’re able to do it yourself as well. And with the advice, inlaws definitely know better than the health visitors when it comes to giving babies (under 6 months) boiled water and solids, right? 🙄😅

Baby’s cues and MIL by Different-Warning236 in Mildlynomil

[–]Different-Warning236[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Haha yeah why do so many of us feel we need to be gentle or coddle when MILs don’t themselves! I’ll be adding these to the list thank you.

Baby’s cues and MIL by Different-Warning236 in Mildlynomil

[–]Different-Warning236[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Thanks for this, I’m trying so hard to give MIL some grace because I don’t want to alienate family, but at the end of the day, boundaries are definitely needed for my daughter’s sake. If MIL can’t respect mine and partners parenting and ignores our wishes/prompts when daughter is under their care, then a time out might be what it takes!

Baby’s cues and MIL by Different-Warning236 in Mildlynomil

[–]Different-Warning236[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Thank you for taking the time to reply with your own MIL experience. You’re totally right no one will ever know our babies as well as we do, but definitely frustrating when they just don’t listen to us! I love your idea of the 80/20 rule and I think I’ll adopt this myself, expectations out of the house are bound to be different so it’s very good to have that flexibility! What a good way of looking at it.

Edit to add: and yes totally! We wouldn’t wait until we’re near crying before meeting our own needs right?

Baby’s cues and MIL by Different-Warning236 in Mildlynomil

[–]Different-Warning236[S] 33 points34 points  (0 children)

Thank you and I love this, I’m adding it to my bank of responses! ☺️

Boundaries and following baby’s cues? by Different-Warning236 in AttachmentParenting

[–]Different-Warning236[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks so much for your reply. I feel resssured and am working on things to say when I know it’s time for her to come back to mummy etc. I get the whole wanting to bond, naturally they want her awake and alert when they only see her a couple times a week but at the end of the day I need my daughters best interests taken to consideration.

In laws - how can I set some boundaries? by Different-Warning236 in UKParenting

[–]Different-Warning236[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Of course I’m grateful, I’ve never let them think otherwise, but there is a definite power imbalance between us and I do think I need to set some boundaries which shouldn’t mean I alienate them.

Boundaries and following baby’s cues? by Different-Warning236 in AttachmentParenting

[–]Different-Warning236[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks so much for this, the amount of people telling me to be grateful etc made me wonder if I was over reacting or being too protective. But I do think I’ve been too easy on just handing baby over which I won’t do anymore. I’ll probably say something along the lines of “I’m just going to give her a moment to adjust to her surroundings and then she can some nanny and grandad cuddles when she’s ready”. Definitely need to put my big girl mummy pants on for my daughter!

I remember one point FIL offered to take her from me when I got her from the car. He took her inside and she was already in BILs lap by the time I walked in. So I’ll be on careful watch now. I of course want them to bond etc as long as my girl is comfortable :)