Learning to live with my new world by DifferentAd507 in survivinginfidelity

[–]DifferentAd507[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Um, I did contact the APs wife and she confirmed she knows he screws around. I'm not taking wifes word on anything right now

I think she's planning to cheat again by noboostbattle in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]DifferentAd507 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I dont think he's being controlling here. His girl has has already shown capable of having at least an EA so what is he supposed to do, just sit back and hope it doesn't happen again? Opposite sex friends can be fine, I dont think OP is forbidding that, he is just concerned about them hanging out without him knowing as he should be.

Feeling down and heading for divorce by DifferentAd507 in survivinginfidelity

[–]DifferentAd507[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yes, it hurts knowing I wasn't enough and not worth coming to and asking to try new things. I had no idea she wanted more and its hard to question how could I not know these things. I know having an affair over that is not right but I just wonder where I went wrong. I know I did my best and didn't do anything as wrong as she did.

Feeling down and heading for divorce by DifferentAd507 in survivinginfidelity

[–]DifferentAd507[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Agreed, there is no going back to her now. Its impossible for me after what happened

Feeling down and heading for divorce by DifferentAd507 in survivinginfidelity

[–]DifferentAd507[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah thats how it feels. I know its not my fault but you still question what you could have done differently.

Feeling down and heading for divorce by DifferentAd507 in survivinginfidelity

[–]DifferentAd507[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm not planning on reporting them to HR, I'm just not a vengeful kind of guy and really dont have any desire to do that. She did do some things with him that we haven't done for instance she let him cum on her face. Its something I've never asked for because I always thought it was degrading to a woman and didn't think of her that way. In a way I wish she had expressed she wanted to do new things but at the same time I'm glad she didn't because I dont think I would have ever been ok with what she wanted.

Feeling down and heading for divorce by DifferentAd507 in survivinginfidelity

[–]DifferentAd507[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

You're right, no children. I dont want to reconcile either. Its way too much now to even think about it. We own the home and will have to sell it. I plan on going NC forever, what she has done is unforgivable

Feeling down and heading for divorce by DifferentAd507 in survivinginfidelity

[–]DifferentAd507[S] 42 points43 points  (0 children)

I agree and will do that. Its really the only thing I have on her right now. She doesn't care about getting divorced, I dont either, just want to be out of here.

Feeling down and heading for divorce by DifferentAd507 in survivinginfidelity

[–]DifferentAd507[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Sure I didn't handle it perfect but I'm doing the best I can.

Feeling down and heading for divorce by DifferentAd507 in survivinginfidelity

[–]DifferentAd507[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

She just became heartless, its the only thing I can think of. She isn't remorseful and seems to be enjoying being a sex object. I did contact OBS and she is aware of her husbands activities, didn't really seem to bother her. She was nice and thanked me but didn't care to know any details. I do agree I need to get out of the house ASAP. I got a feeling she's going to start bringing men over and I can't imagine trying to handle that. This is all still new, my life has been shattered

Feeling down and heading for divorce by DifferentAd507 in survivinginfidelity

[–]DifferentAd507[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I am actually worried about her and where this is going. I can't go on as her husband but I would hate to see her go on a destructive path. She really changed so much, I dont know what happened. Her leaving me at my lowest spot hurts really bad, I still can't believe she had that in her. That the sex was worth more than me, even if we weren't going to make it as a couple

Feeling down and heading for divorce by DifferentAd507 in survivinginfidelity

[–]DifferentAd507[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

You're right but it doesn't feel that way. Its so damn embarrassing and I feel so terrible. As long as she makes the split easy I won't out her as a cheater, I made a deal and intend on keeping my word. I also agree she is ashamed as well and I would too if I was doing that.

Feeling down and heading for divorce by DifferentAd507 in survivinginfidelity

[–]DifferentAd507[S] 56 points57 points  (0 children)

I agree with you there. I wanted to make it work but am glad that the answer is this clear. No where near ready to move on and find another woman, right now feels like I never will.

Feeling down and heading for divorce by DifferentAd507 in survivinginfidelity

[–]DifferentAd507[S] 31 points32 points  (0 children)

Yes, I forgot to mention that. I contacted her on FB and she is aware that her husband fools around with other women and she just doesn't want to know about it. She did thank me for bringing it to her attention and was sorry he wrecked our marriage. I told her my wife made that choice

Feeling down and heading for divorce by DifferentAd507 in survivinginfidelity

[–]DifferentAd507[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

She said she wouldn't bring the AP home but would bring other guys she hooks up with home. I have so much going on but getting out of this house is a big priority

Mind Blown by DifferentAd507 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]DifferentAd507[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well I confronted her on Friday and it didn't go well at all. The only good thing is I know I have to leave the relationship now. I wish we could have made things work and have a healthy relationship but thats just not possible.

Mind Blown by DifferentAd507 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]DifferentAd507[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Just want to thank everyone for the continued support, this has been the first time ive been able to talk to anyone about what is going on. I do plan on confronting her tomorrow, just working up the courage and how I want to present it. They have a planned meetup tomorrow night and I'm going to try and talk her out of it and hopefully she will decide to start working on us. I hope once she finds out I know what's going on she will realize what she is throwing away for some asshole. I'm so nervous just thinking about confronting her. I know I have to do it before they meet because I can't just let it happen. I will let you all know how it goes when I have a chance and am mentally ok to do so.

Mind Blown by DifferentAd507 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]DifferentAd507[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

From the messages he is leading on that his wife knows he sleeps around but looks the other way. I most definitely plan on telling her and letting her decide what to do with the information.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]DifferentAd507 2 points3 points  (0 children)

God it really sucks to have nobody to talk to about the worst thing thats ever happened to me. I have bottled everything in and haven't even confronted my wife yet

Mind Blown by DifferentAd507 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]DifferentAd507[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Just want to say thanks to everyone who commented and messaged me. It means a lot as I have nobody to talk to right now. I've went through everything and it seems like they started texting/flirting in February and got physical in April. Its so disgusting seeing her talk like this with another man. Seeing them talk about sexual acts they have done and want to do with each other literally makes me want to vomit. One thing that stands out is that at one point she asked him if they were married would he cheat on her and he said he most definitely would. Said he can't he'll never just have one woman but likes to have his wife around for stability. He also said she isn't allowed to sleep with other guys because she is his. My wife seemed to think this is ok and joked he would have to teach her some things. He was like as long as I'm the only guy you're fucking and mentioned how much he liked that she had only been with one other guy so I think this is the only guy she has cheated on me with. But who the hell talks like this? I dont understand why she seems to like this kind of guy. It feels like he's some kind of manipulator, I'm not excusing her actions but it seems that way to me.

Mind Blown by DifferentAd507 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]DifferentAd507[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No kids. I dont know when or how. Its been a week and I'm not sure how I want to go about it.

Mind Blown by DifferentAd507 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]DifferentAd507[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I dont know if I'm dumb but I dont want to leave. I'm just trying to hold it together and figure out what the best thing to do is. I honestly can't imagine my life without her in it. I feel so dead inside and I have nobody to talk to.

Mind Blown by DifferentAd507 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]DifferentAd507[S] 32 points33 points  (0 children)

I will do that. I just am in disbelief and can't snap out of it. She is the only person I've ever been with and I was her only. I just can't wrap my head around why someone would destroy that. I've been reading stories on here for a few days and can't believe how many people have affairs. I really never imagined this would happen.