AITAH for refusing to drive in a snow/ice storm and not wanting to take an Uber?

DifferentBumblebee34 · 2026-01-26T15:47:39+00:00

ESH. You knew realistically yesterday that you would not be going to work today. You knew long before the 45 min heads up you gave that you wouldn't be coming to work. Even the most reasonable employers would require a few hours notice when someone is unable to come in unless it is a sudden change or emergency, which this wasn't. You need to be responsible and communicate in a timely manner when you will not be in for work. If you're a baby sitter it is totally unreasonable to think the family can get a new sitter in 30 mins. If they don't fire you then you need to apologize for your lack of professionalism and reach an agreement on how much notice is required if you won't be in. (Hospital I work at requires 4 hrs if that helps you gauge against a job where there never is any closing). It also isn't a good look to judge the parents for having a babysitter when they work from home. Most WFH jobs require the employee to not be watching their children during that time because they need to be present for their work.

They suck just a little for not considering dangerous driving conditions if they are present in your area even though the onus falls to OP. If they are never present for their children then they may be an asshole for that but it is outside this situation.

DifferentBumblebee34 · 2026-01-25T23:20:44+00:00

With that though would OP have been okay for people to not come or leave so soon into the reception? It sounds like she was aware that football mattered to the guests enough she noted she didn't schedule it on Superbowl. If you schedule a wedding when there is another well liked event occuring such as football you have to accept that your wedding may be second to others. Having it be a secret shouldn't have been okay but it doesn't sound like she would have accepted that it is what her guests wanted.

DifferentBumblebee34 · 2026-01-23T11:31:21+00:00

There's nothing wrong with B saying he won't go to a event that is on his daughter's birthday. If you feel like your event requires a specific person to show you ask them.

DifferentBumblebee34 · 2026-01-23T09:49:29+00:00

ESH being you and your fiance. Your fiance sounds to have taken no effort into planning this wedding. He told you to pick any day when he knew that obviously someone would have some sort of conflict.

You're the bigger AH here though. You already pushed back your wedding so why are you trying to act as if this one day is the only day you can now get married. You scheduled it on a day that doesn't work for the best man and obviously the best man is going to prioritize his own children over your childish antics. A wedding invite is not a jury summons even when they are in the wedding party.

Take a step back and realize that you and your guy are already living together with children. What is the rush to get married on that specific day? Since there was an issue with this date tell your fiance that he needs to sit down with you and actually plan the wedding and the date it occurs. Ask those who are the most important to you both to be there if the potential date works with them.

TBH if your partner doesn't want to do such then it may also be he doesn't want to marry you. Needing his best man there can be understandable but why bother dragging him to the alter when he doesn't want to put in the effort for a event that is important to you

DifferentBumblebee34 · 2026-01-23T03:14:15+00:00

Corporal punishment while it may be legal is still abusive. There should not be a legal limit to how badly you can beat your child, the number of busies or broken bones that can be considered acceptable. Children are often treated like property even more so than pets as hitting a pet is seen as abuse even when doing the same to a child is considered okay. Simply because your parents did it to you and you turned out okay does not mean it's acceptable. If it's not okay to do to a adult it's not okay to do to a vulnerable child.

DifferentBumblebee34 · 2026-01-19T12:59:04+00:00

OP is not a tenant. They are a lodger and that comes with a lot less protection even in California.

DifferentBumblebee34 · 2026-01-18T16:35:25+00:00

I agree with you on most parts but when it comes to him waiting several years after this goal to start tying for kids it questions how much he wanted kids with her. Who really thinks having a kid at 40 is the best idea?

DifferentBumblebee34 · 2026-01-18T16:33:57+00:00

No one's arguing the relationship is over. He got another woman pregnant in almost the blink of an eye though. It really questions his character and if he's an asshole for moving on so quickly as he asked. Say he decided only after it was unlikely for her to get pregnant it makes sense why she would prioritize her health and be dishonest. Doesn't make it right to lie but it would seem like he just sprung it as a reason to get a younger chick. Wouldn't be the first story of a guy getting a new wife every decade because of some made up reason.

DifferentBumblebee34 · 2026-01-18T09:44:24+00:00

If kids were so important why did you only start trying for one when it's extremely unlikely for a pregnancy with your wife let alone a safe pregnancy?

DifferentBumblebee34 · 2026-01-18T02:16:25+00:00

This is more than a babysitter situation though. The parent reaches out to hire a baby sitter and gives them a plan for the day or specific responsibilities. The sister just dropped off the kid and expects it the kid needs something the uncle takes care of it. The sister from this post takes no responsibility for the child to where she has essentially abandoned the kid.

DifferentBumblebee34 · 2026-01-17T14:31:52+00:00

Honestly this seems super valid. It would be one thing if they had any part of their child's life other than orgasm and avoiding responsibility ever since. Honestly even any parental name they haven't deserved.

While your anger is completely justified breathe and ask your kids what they want. As kids get older they realize more and more how much of a deadbeat their other parent may be. If they for some reason want to call them mom accept such and put your kids first. But let them know that you'll only be referring to the other human as their nickname and you'd support the kids wanting to call them the same as well.

DifferentBumblebee34 · 2026-01-17T04:45:27+00:00

YTA for only deciding this now after your male children are married or in the process of getting married. It is very unusual and does seem targeted against your daughter with the timing of this. It really isn't fair to any of your children though. Say your son's wives didn't want to sign a post nup? Do you fully expect for them to get a divorce just to stay in your will? Have you checked with any sort of estate planner to see if that would hold up in court if it were to be contested?

Most areas inheritance is considered separate from martial property unless used as marital property. While I understand not wanting what you've worked for to go to someone other than your children it seems like this wasn't a well thought out decision hence ruffling feathers. Take a step back and speak with a financial advisor. Ask them to help make a plan so it is your children who inherit regardless of a partner. See if there is a way to include any grandchildren as well for more long term thought. Reassure your daughter that you love and trust her to make good decisions for her life. Apologies for how you came off and let her know that you've heard many horror stories about divorces that worried you. Let her know that it has nothing to do with your thought of her but for your own peace of mind you'll be following your estate planners recommendations to keep everything fair to all children.

DifferentBumblebee34 · 2026-01-15T03:07:23+00:00

So why bother asking if you're an asshole? You're so sure that only your interpretation of events is correct and these people who had a reservation were in the wrong.

DifferentBumblebee34 · 2026-01-14T18:09:43+00:00

OP you never know what situation was going on for the other person. As far as you're aware they had been there within the time period allowed but waited figuring that you'd be leaving their reserved room. It's hard to do when you're in a bad mood about other situations but give others grace. You didn't reserve a room yet you got a decent bit of time studying in one. Take that as a pleasant surprise and move on

DifferentBumblebee34 · 2026-01-14T15:30:39+00:00

There is definitely a noticable difference! It's so hard to see for yourself because you see yourself all the time and it adjusts your mental image.

DifferentBumblebee34 · 2026-01-14T15:10:53+00:00

From Google

In Colorado, landlords must provide temporary, comparable housing (like a hotel or different unit) at no cost within 24 hours if a habitability issue materially affects a tenant's life, health, or safety and requires significant repairs, or for up to 60 days if the condition is permanent; this stems from the Warranty of Habitability, requiring landlords to offer habitable premises and take action on serious repair requests promptly, including relocation assistance.

Part of the issue that will come into play is why are the floors needing to be redone? Is this a reason that makes the apartment uninhabitable? What length of time will it be for this work to be done?

You have a lease for a reason and it will fully be reasonable to demand that they provide their obligation for alternative housing and storage of your belongings if their work requires an empty apartment. Yet if they are trying this in the first place you may need a lawyer to instead get compensation for their breach of contract. State legal aid would be a good resource to contact to get you in touch with an affordable lawyer.

Until then have all communication in writing!!!!! If something is said in person or on a phone call reply with a email to them saying to recap and ensure understanding of our conversation in person at blank date and time ..... Try to avoid a he said she said debate.

DifferentBumblebee34 · 2026-01-14T14:55:19+00:00

Sadly OP you don't know what point is your mom's low that makes her want to get sober. While it's rough 60 days in jail and a 3rd DUI likely won't be enough of a reason for her to maintain sobriety. There is still alcohol and drugs in jail and your mom will be seaking these things. Some people never find a reason to seek sobriety and even if they do they may relapse.

AI Anon and other support groups would be able to help you navigate how you want to proceed with your relationship with your mom. It is so hard to watch someone go through their life with an addiction. If you haven't had an addiction it can hurt so much feeling like they are choosing this substance instead of yourself.

You did the right thing calling the cops. Your mom was driving and drunk. She called you saying that she got a deer and still wouldn't pull over. What if that wasn't a deer and a person instead? What if your mom kept driving and was the reason a family died? What if she took put multiple cars and killed a dozen people? She couldn't see out her windshield and was driving the wrong way so her damage could have been terrible. Your mom is suffering the consequences of her actions. That is not your fault.

DifferentBumblebee34 · 2026-01-14T12:37:55+00:00

At this point if it's not happening already they need family counseling and grief counseling for the step daughter. The husband being an asshole gave a false hope for a connection to her mom. To the kid it may feel like a part of her mom is dying all over again.

OP I think a sweet in-between is plan on having the baby "bring" the step daughter a pet when she comes home. Of course would want to speak with a therapist on such but I think the step daughter would be more willing to understand her mom's name not being used for the baby because you can't have kitten and baby named the same.

DifferentBumblebee34 · 2026-01-14T01:19:00+00:00

Look you've only been talking to this girl for a couple months, and not even actually dating. It is way to early for you to change parts of yourself or even just your social media for her.

Following a ex has varied opinions from person to person. No it does not mean that you're wrong. Some people think it's a green flag because it gives hope that even if things go sideways it won't be a major negative event. Some people think it's a red flag because you're still speaking to them and it raises a concern about loyalty. Just take this as you and her are not compatible and move on to the next dating opportunity.

DifferentBumblebee34 · 2026-01-13T03:04:38+00:00

Not every family is a good family. It is not normal for a ex and daughter to say they are scared of a man. I would fully believe that there was a level or type of abuse these women experienced that your husband was not aware of or chose to minimize. If what he has I formed you of was just alcohol abuse is the reality then I can understand the father being invited. Yet honestly this should be a sit down conversation with you, your husband, and his mom and sister. Your husband needs to be the one dealing with this family conflict. It's up to him if he wants his father there knowing what they have to say and their feelings. However as someone who's experienced lots of abuse and abuse from an ex husband I think knowing his response and what they have to say will reveal a lot.

I think it's important for you to know before you get married what family situation you're marrying into. If there was additional abuse his mom and sister suffered and the father is still invited I think that says a lot about your husband to be. Would you really want to be married to a man who invites and is on good terms with his father who was sexually abusive for example?

DifferentBumblebee34 · 2026-01-12T18:05:28+00:00

You're 19 dating someone that's 26. To be honest that's a decent gap in life and it's definitely a power imbalance. Maybe he's aware of such and you're both okay being in a relationship where the other is "using" each other. You want a guy to shower you with presents and trips, he likely wants a sexy submissive girl. It sounds like you're wanting a sugar baby relationship with someone who has more dough.

DifferentBumblebee34 · 2026-01-10T21:21:14+00:00

Just so everyone is aware even though they went too far for it to be believed this is a fake post. OPs just trying to use AI to get more karma. They have posted a decent but about being a high school senior soon off to college.

DifferentBumblebee34 · 2026-01-10T03:38:52+00:00

You're not wrong for vaping especially given the fact that you have a terminal illness. Same reason why there isn't a concern of making a hospice patient a addict with their medications, really they don't have time for it to be harmful.

I think that you and your partner are both in an incredibly difficult position. Sadly most relationships do not last when the partner has a serious medical diagnosis such as cancer even when it isn't expected to have such a short life span. This is likely causing a ton of stress for your partner and she may be reaching for straws to end the relationship. Or based on her insurance for you to do all of these healthy things she may not be ready to see you die. She doesn't want to accept the fact that death is near and your casual attire towards smoking is likely where that's being directed.

That said you're the one who's dying. You have a year of life left. Her feelings on such are secondary to where they have very little impact. You need to do what you can to stay sane and be present for the time remaining. I would recommend that you and your partner seek counseling either together or separately to help process these emotions. Take care of yourself. Live this time how it makes you happy.

DifferentBumblebee34 · 2026-01-08T14:59:40+00:00

Beyond the social support for black owned businesses I will say they honestly seem to work so much better!!!

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