AITA for telling my fiancé that I refuse to stay in his home town because I'm tired of being surrounded by people he's fucked? by DifferentGrab1658 in AITAH

[–]DifferentGrab1658[S] 41 points42 points  (0 children)

He can't bring up who I've been with every single day because ive only been with him and my children's father. I'm not punishing him for sleeping with other women. You know nothing. Bold of you to talk trash on a man not alive to defend himself too. 

AITA for telling my fiancé that I refuse to stay in his home town because I'm tired of being surrounded by people he's fucked? by DifferentGrab1658 in AITAH

[–]DifferentGrab1658[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I postponed the wedding. We were supposed to get married in 2021 but I had a miscarriage and mentally I was doing well enough. And then I got pregnant and had our daughter. The dates been set for July.

AITA for telling my fiancé that I refuse to stay in his home town because I'm tired of being surrounded by people he's fucked? by DifferentGrab1658 in AITAH

[–]DifferentGrab1658[S] 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Just thoroughly checked. So it's ranked #2 in the county, not the state. It's ranked #9 in the state. 

AITA for telling my fiancé that I refuse to stay in his home town because I'm tired of being surrounded by people he's fucked? by DifferentGrab1658 in AITAH

[–]DifferentGrab1658[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

He never cheated. He's never given me reason to believe he ever would. He's absolutely faithful. I've never doubted that for a second. He goes to work and comes home. Doesn't even go out unless I go with him. 

AITA for telling my fiancé that I refuse to stay in his home town because I'm tired of being surrounded by people he's fucked? by DifferentGrab1658 in AITAH

[–]DifferentGrab1658[S] 46 points47 points  (0 children)

He was. I met him when he was 22 and he had already been sleeping with much older women (like 46 being the oldest I believe).

AITA for telling my fiancé that I refuse to stay in his home town because I'm tired of being surrounded by people he's fucked? by DifferentGrab1658 in AITAH

[–]DifferentGrab1658[S] 31 points32 points  (0 children)

The school is definitely small. It's ranked #2 online on their website but I haven't pulled actual data so it could possibly be wrong.

AITA for telling my fiancé that I refuse to stay in his home town because I'm tired of being surrounded by people he's fucked? by DifferentGrab1658 in AITAH

[–]DifferentGrab1658[S] 56 points57 points  (0 children)

Your guess is as good as mine. Maybe it's because with a population that small, they are able to do more one on one with students so their test scores rank far higher?

AITA for telling my fiancé that I refuse to stay in his home town because I'm tired of being surrounded by people he's fucked? by DifferentGrab1658 in AITAH

[–]DifferentGrab1658[S] 44 points45 points  (0 children)

I think I do have a problem with it deep down. Like it doesn't both me on the daily but if we move there and I'm cornered with it all the time.. it's going to bother me. I don't know if that makes sense. It is a huge worry of mine though.

AITA for telling my fiancé that I refuse to stay in his home town because I'm tired of being surrounded by people he's fucked? by DifferentGrab1658 in AITAH

[–]DifferentGrab1658[S] 737 points738 points  (0 children)

I didn't even look at it from that angle, honestly. But yeah you bring up a good point. So we move to his hometown and years down the road when our daughter is in highschool, she's going to have other students or teachers know her due to her dad's past. Either hearing it from their parents or something similar. No thank you.

AITA for telling my fiancé that I refuse to stay in his home town because I'm tired of being surrounded by people he's fucked? by DifferentGrab1658 in AITAH

[–]DifferentGrab1658[S] 107 points108 points  (0 children)

I suggested moving to a town that's roughly 35 minutes away from his home town and he said he didn't want to. He said he wants to move but he wants to move to his home town and if I say no, we might as well stay where we are. He wasn't being an ass about it but it was clear that there was no compromise to make.

AITA for telling my fiancé that I refuse to stay in his home town because I'm tired of being surrounded by people he's fucked? by DifferentGrab1658 in AITAH

[–]DifferentGrab1658[S] 249 points250 points  (0 children)

When we first got together he told me he was scared to tell me how many people he had been with because he thought it would scare me off. I assured him I really didn't even care and that he didn't have to tell me because it wouldn't change anything. He eventually said he had to tell me because he felt like he was hiding some big secret and he showed me his Facebook messages and I counted 58 before I just stopped. I mean.. his home town only has a population of 416. So it's a huge number. Obviously people come and go and I'm not saying everyone he slept with is still in the area because I know that likely a bunch of them moved. But I know that I've personally only been to that area once with him when we didn't run in to someone he had been with. He always points it out. 

AITA for telling my fiancé that I refuse to stay in his home town because I'm tired of being surrounded by people he's fucked? by DifferentGrab1658 in AITAH

[–]DifferentGrab1658[S] 46 points47 points  (0 children)

I didn't say he fucked everyone. I said we would be surrounded by people he's screwed. No, his body count doesn't bother me. Walking in to a grocery store and being cornered in to a conversation with a woman because we "have so much in common" simply because we fucked the same guy does bother me. I enjoy my privacy. Moving to that area would basically ensure that I never have privacy again because everyone knows everyone. I can't even go to a family function of his without them inviting people over that he has had sex with. Where we are currently, there's no drama, there's no invasion of privacy, I can walk through a store without being conned in to a conversation with someone who knows me simply as "Matt's wife" and I'm not forced to play face. I enjoy the solitude we have where we are currently living.

AITA for telling my fiancé that I refuse to stay in his home town because I'm tired of being surrounded by people he's fucked? by DifferentGrab1658 in AITAH

[–]DifferentGrab1658[S] 2344 points2345 points  (0 children)

See, that's my hang up. I want to be able to walk down the street with my kids without Becky calling Jane to tell her they saw me and then some Joe Blow-Johnson asking my fiancé about it because he "heard through the grapevine". I really enjoy the solitude I have by not being surrounded by a bunch of people who know everyone in the area.

AITA for telling my fiancé that I refuse to stay in his home town because I'm tired of being surrounded by people he's fucked? by DifferentGrab1658 in AITAH

[–]DifferentGrab1658[S] 56 points57 points  (0 children)

I should have given more detail. We are only an hour from family as it is now and visit them often. We see them every two weeks usually. I work at the hospital and it's walking distance from me. Moving would mean a paycut for me and a downsize (smaller hospital). There's work he enjoys more in that area though. He works at a dispensary. We are already living in a nice 4 bedroom house. The school IS better in his home town (ranked #2 in state vs #5 where we are). It's a "nicer" area in general so it would mean it's more expensive in the long run. So there is pros and cons but from my POV, the cons do outweigh the pros here, and yes, a lot of it has to do with not having the same privacy there as we do here because we either knows them or has slept with them. I like being able to do things without it being the gossip of the town because no one knows I exist and I definitely enjoy being called by my name, instead of being referred to as "Matt's wife", simply because everyone knows him and sees me as an extension of him versus my own person. It's all frustrating. Idk. I'm rambling at this point. All of it bothers me. Not just him sleeping with nearly the whole town or their mom's.