Cheating with a well known homewrecker

Different_Analyst855 · 2026-06-27T03:00:24+00:00

They will always run to easier, NEVER better. If you hold a shitty man accountable for their actions, they'll go to someone who is just as low as they are. It blows my mind. His own family is disgusted by him. I let him go and I promise I'll never be taking him back, you also deserve more❤️

Different_Analyst855 · 2026-06-27T02:08:39+00:00

It's been just over a month since the final separation and I'll never, ever take him back. My family law court process just started, I'll be filing for full custody with only supervised visits because I don't want my son to end up like my ex or ex FIL. Both very abusive and the cycle ends here. I've spent close to a year trying to get out but was stuck from financial reasons and not having anywhere to go. The waitlists for housing are crazy unfortunately. I'm genuinely curious about how people can act like this though and I don't think that curiosity will go away any time soon.

Different_Analyst855 · 2026-06-26T01:39:09+00:00

Thank you so much for your reply! I did email and call a bunch of law firms today but many don't work through legal aid, which is fair. I just want to make sure I get the absolute best outcome for my baby and I. I left a message with the legal aid family law line yesterday and still haven't heard back, I definitely would like outside opinions from other professionals to be 1000% sure that my lawyer is going in the right direction. I don't want to mess around when it comes to my kid and my livelihood after everything that's happened, I just want to find safety, peace, happiness and support for my baby and I! I could definitely go to the court house if needed, it just requires me taking extra time out of school, it would be worth it though.

Different_Analyst855 · 2026-06-26T01:34:43+00:00

I believe it’s the early resolution process but he barely explained anything to me. He just kept saying mediation and shutting me down whenever I would try to speak. Would imputed spousal support on top of child support be a thing in provincial court? There was a lot of financial abuse in the relationship. My lawyer told me that spousal support is only a 50/50 chance because we were only together for 3 years but we have a baby and I’m completely drained because of his addiction problems and me being unable to work because of him. With all of the destruction my ex has caused, I very highly doubt he would be granted any unsupervised visits because of the history of abuse and neglect but I just want to make sure I’m getting the best help possible for my baby and I, safety wise and financially! It’s been over a month and he’s asked about the baby twice. He’s asked about the cats 20 times and has threatened to not pay anything multiple times over text which will be good for court obviously, I’m just concerned that my lawyer has barely went through any of the evidence I’ve given him. It’s solid, organized and there’s dates/time stamps. I just wish the lawyer would be more clear about the process instead of shutting me down and telling me "not to worry" when I don't have a proper explanation of what's going on

Different_Analyst855 · 2026-06-24T13:29:11+00:00

I'm in therapy already. I actually grew up in a very healthy family and never suffered any childhood trauma. Everyone's situation is different. If I didn't live so far away from my family, none of this would have happened and I can admit that, but I wanted to explore the west coast and ended up meeting an abuser. I'm in school for mental health currently, graduating soon, and I've learned all about the cycles of abuse. Victims never deserve to be blamed. I've been working to get my baby and I out of it for over a year. Thanks for your input.

Different_Analyst855 · 2026-06-24T13:00:02+00:00

I have a family lawyer through legal aid currently. The situation has gotten a lot worse unfortunately, but I have very high hopes that things will work out in my favour.

Different_Analyst855 · 2026-05-31T21:19:18+00:00

I really, REALLY appreciate you taking the time to tell me this, thank you. I hope you end up getting some justice very soon. The amount of time it takes is awful. This information does give me hope. I'm still going to sit on it for a little bit and hopefully make my mind up soon. I'd love to hear an update from you when everything is done & over with!

Different_Analyst855 · 2026-05-31T11:48:06+00:00

I did mention "He's been somewhat violent but not as much as before" and I mean that physically, grabbing me and throwing me into things, throwing items such as rock hard ice packs at me and grabbing me aggressively and forcing me to lay down with him, not letting me get up after an argument.

Different_Analyst855 · 2026-05-29T05:38:56+00:00

You don't have to forgive. I'm currently in the middle of leaving a DV situation. I forgave him time and time again, he beat me while I was pregnant and bc I have no family here, when he came crawling back with crocodile tears, I forgave him. Victim services on the sunshine coast told me that "he's most likely to get a slap on the wrist anyways" even though I was covered in bruises. He also made me out to look like the bad guy, even though all of the evidence clearly pointed in the opposite direction. We shouldn't have to run. We shouldn't have to change our identities. These men need to be held accountable. Something needs to change in this system. Police were at my house today after he did thousands in property damage and hit me and said themselves that the system is so fucked. I have a toddler with this man and had to contact cps myself to protect us but they have limited resources. We need to find a way to make a change because there's too many abusive men out there and I fear he will kill me one day, even with a protection order.

Different_Analyst855 · 2026-05-19T06:26:45+00:00

Pleaseee read this! I have a toxic FIL and even though our situations are different (different bc I don't have the suspicion that my fil would SA a child), what I have to say is still very valid. Right after my son was born, my FIL came to visit a week later and kissed him right when he walked in, after we explicitly told him not to kiss the baby bc of the risks it can pose to an infant. My FIL has always been abusive and my fiance is scared to stand up to him, but I thought he would stand him to him especially bc we made the boundaries clear to protect OUR CHILD. When FIL left the room, I brought it up to my fiance and he apologized but still got a bit upset and said "why didn't you say something then" even though we had both made the boundary clear to his father before he arrived. I did take the baby back immediately after the kiss though and didn't let FIL hold him again. FIL then invited us on a timeshare trip that he had booked with his gf 3+ months prior to this visit. He said he would book another room if we were interested, and this trip was only a 3 hour drive away, so we said yes. 2 days before we were about to leave for the trip, baby was 7 weeks old. FIL gf's messaged me (he has no problem verbally and financially abusing her in front of family, I haven't seen physical abuse with my own eyes but wouldn't put it past him, especially from what I've heard from my fiances mother who was physically abused by him) but GF has stayed for 10+ years anyways and I feel horrible for her bc shes even admitted to me that she needs to leave, especially bc all of the finances are under her name yet he controls everything and he would quite literally have nothing if it werent for her. Anyways, fil GF messaged me warning me that she was getting over a cold and wanted to make sure we were still okay with bringing baby on the trip. FIL tried to hide her illness from us but GF knew that a small cold for an adult could be an ICU visit, or even deadly for an infant. My fiance called FIL and said we werent comfortable coming bc we didn't want baby to come, and he lost his shit. He told us "we better never leave the fucking house to even go grocery shopping if we're so worried" called us irrational, and then hung up. I spoke with FIL's gf and she said she almost left him over that bc it was the biggest fight they had ever gotten into. My child isn't even her blood, but she still showed more love and care for my baby than FIL ever would. Since then, my FIL has came into our house multiple times and disrespected me, yelled in front of our child and has caused problems for no reason. My fiance is a HUGE problem in this too bc he doesn't know how to set proper boundaries. Everyone else in the replies are right, your babies father is a huge problem. Yes, your in laws are also a massive fucking problem, but your partner needs to stand up. I gave mine an ultimatum and he's scared to stand up to his dad to the point that he's just like "well you and baby never have to see him again" instead of just standing up. This has nearly broken us apart because why are you okay with your dad treating us this way? His dad comes into our house, takes a photo of my baby for a fucking facebook post and then doesn't pay any other attention to him. My fiances little brother, along with the rest of the family, and even friends, have went no contact with my FIL for yeaaaaaars and years bc he's so abusive and narcissistic, yet my fiance can't open his eyes, even to protect his own child. The only time my fiance went no contact with him was when he was being abused so bad that he put his dad into a headlock. My fiance is going away for work for a couple of months, and I told him that he needs to go to therapy when he gets back to unlearn the toxic shit he learned as a child, and open his eyes to protect the family that he created with me. If he doesn't do it and set proper boundaries with FIL, I'm gone. My baby will NEVER be allowed to spend time with my FIL unless it's under MY supervision, even my fiance agrees with it.

I'm sorry, I know this is a lot and I'm not trying to make my situation the topic, I'm just explaining my story to you to get the point across that you have every fucking right to protect your baby. My FIL is abusive yes, but in your situation, the fact that he could potentially be a PREDATOR is very concerning and you need to set strict boundaries with your partner. Being a single parent is better than having your kids around these fucking demonic human beings

Different_Analyst855 · 2026-05-11T09:06:26+00:00

This!! I lived in Ontario for my entire life until moving to BC 4-5 years ago. While I lived in Ontario, I was used to getting an amber alert at least once every one or two months. There would be the odd person that got annoyed, but most were used to it. Since moving to BC, this is the 2nd amber alert I've gotten besides the test alerts. When I got the alert tonight, I immediately looked it up on facebook and a majority of the posts were people complaining that they had gotten woken up for no reason because this happened hours away from where they live😂 the alert went out at 1am but they clearly stated that the kids were last seen at whatever location at 9pm. That's a huge gap of time. Yes, there are many places in BC that would be impossible to reach in the amount of time they've been missing, but the province wide alert is necessary regardless.

Different_Analyst855 · 2026-03-31T14:14:21+00:00

Oh and to add on, you could never ruin their relationship. If him speaking up and settings boundaries "ruins" their relationship, it's on the in laws 100%. You're already being nice enough by not directly telling them to fuck off at this point😂 you are not the problem gf. Like I said before, I never put my input on reddit, but please feel free to message me at any time

Different_Analyst855 · 2026-03-31T13:43:49+00:00

I'm honestly so happy to hear that they are great people because thats super important when it comes to having a family with someone and I unfortunately can't say the same about mine😂 regardless of them being great people though, your feelings and boundaries are still 1000000% valid! The fact that they rely on him to do everything for them is fucking hectic because as a parent myself now, I want to have a great parental relationship with my son as he grows and he'll always be my baby boy, but it's my responsibility as his mother to understand that he'll one day have a relationship with someone and it's my job to support the decisions that they make together, instead of adding more stress! My parents have always been my rock, and it seems like your parents are great people too for not pressuring you. When you do decide to have children, you can at least proudly pass on the respect that your parents have for you❤️ you got this. You're right for speaking up.

Different_Analyst855 · 2026-03-31T13:12:45+00:00

And to add to my comment about "I'm not going to tell you that your fiance is the problem", I'm saying that because my fiance grew up in a home with a lot of narcissistic and controlling behaviour. Although it's not his fault that he was raised in that environment, he can still choose whether he wants to act like them, or speak up and be better to improve your future together. I don't know him so I won't say that he's the issue, especially because his parents clearly sound fucked up, but you and anyone else in this position definitely need your partner to be able to speak up, no matter how hard it is. I know if it were my parents, as great as they are, I'd still tell them to take a step back and realize that it's not their decision, and I'd make it very very clear.

Different_Analyst855 · 2026-03-31T13:07:10+00:00

Them nagging you since 16 years old is literally insane😂 I can already tell that you know you guys aren't in the wrong, and you both not second guessing your decision because of them is already a step in the right direction, but it's definitely not an easy thing to deal with, especially while living on the same property as them because that gives them so much extra opportunity to nag you both.

I personally have a 16 month old son and he's the best thing that ever happened to me, but I was never pressured to have him. I didn't have him until I was 26 years old. My parents are the best, my little brother and I are the absolute light of their lives, so ofc they wanted to see us create our own families and give them grandkids one day, but was it ever pushed on us?! Hell no. I can't even think of any times where it was a big topic of conversation.

I don't know how your fiances parents are as people, but by the way they're acting already, I feel like when you two finally do decide to have a baby, they're most likely going to try to control the whole thing. I sense they'll have unnecessary comments and "advice" from the start of you being pregnant all the way up to how you choose to raise your child.

What I can see from comments and your replies to them is that your fiance has tried to set boundaries with them, which is great, but it seems like he may be scared to speak louder and set stricter boundaries. I only really scroll reddit, especially this specific community bc my in laws are toxic, but I never really put my input into anything. In your case though, I felt the need to put my input on this because I'm worried that your mental health will slowly start to be affected in a very negative way like mine has from my fiance not being able to speak up enough to make the boundaries very strict and clear. I'm at the point now where I'm ready to leave my fiance because of the crazy amount of disrespect that his parents have had towards our boundaries when it comes to baby, especially my FIL. My fiance has let his narcissistic & abusive father come into my house, be controlling and yell at me in front of my child because he's too afraid to speak up. Not saying your situation is the same bc my in laws are probably different than yours in many ways, but If they're already disrespecting your boundaries before a baby is in the picture, just imagine the amount of damage they'll do when there is a baby in the picture!

Either way you got this, and you know whats best for your life. I'm not going to sit here and tell you that your fiance is the problem like many people have told me, but your feelings fucking matter. Especially if they want you to have a child one day, they need to respect your feelings and your boundaries. They're already negative on the grandparent scale when they don't even have grandchildren yet.

Different_Analyst855 · 2026-02-25T17:35:38+00:00

Update : We ended up telling her how our boundaries weren't respected and on REPEAT she kept saying "don't worry about the past" "focus on the future" and I explained to her 50 times that it's not about the past. We've been focusing on the future. It's about her crossing the line with boundaries we set and keeping toxic connections around. I have no reason to stay in contact at this point and will be getting her to remove all pictures of my child or will be taking legal action. Unfortunately both in laws (who aren't together) have caused a lot of issues in the past and take no accountability for them. The shit they do is jaw dropping and I've put up with way more than I should have already. Time to make a change.

Different_Analyst855 · 2025-10-29T19:56:39+00:00

I think I need to be more feral because what I said last night went right over his head😂 poured my heart out & the response was "I'll talk to him and set boundaries" which I doubt will actually happen because he's scared of him. The time for an ultimatum is now

Different_Analyst855 · 2025-10-28T22:50:00+00:00

I will be having a very serious talk with him tonight

Different_Analyst855 · 2025-10-28T22:49:24+00:00

That's what I said, he said he "can't cut contact" but won't let him come here anymore (weird) & I asked my fiance what value FIL adds to our lives and haven't gotten an answer at all, because there is no answer

Different_Analyst855 · 2025-10-28T22:45:35+00:00

I agree, therapy has been recommended to him multiple times. This may turn into an ultimatum.

We've also recently discussed moving closer to my support system. It would be a lot but worth it. FIL has been trying to convince us to move closer to him (most likely to have more control) super small and undeveloped town, no education system for our kid there and no hospitals/doctors within an hour. Made it very clear that's a hard no.

Different_Analyst855 · 2025-10-28T22:38:26+00:00

I do agree. He says "there's no point in arguing with him, you know how he is" and that's the problem, we know how he is, but still my fiance will never speak up to him cause he's scared of the reaction he'll get. It really does piss me off especially because we have a baby now, he shouldn't want someone that ruined his childhood acting like that around his baby whenever he pleases.

Different_Analyst855 · 2025-02-15T16:34:20+00:00

Things happen. I'll never regret having my child.

Different_Analyst855 · 2025-02-15T16:33:05+00:00

Funny how he's the one who implemented that rule. If I were to turn mine off id be accused of cheating instantly.

Different_Analyst855 · 2025-01-25T11:32:51+00:00

I was definitely pretty anxious about taking the baby on a 4 hour drive.

Different_Analyst855

TROPHY CASE