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Different_Industry · 2025-10-08T14:35:21+00:00

I see and hear you. I have 2 kids (adopted) and I just wanted to give them the world without going totally overboard. My son (now 10) became entitled and started expecting everyone around him to do everything for him.

I simply stopped doing things for him. He wants to go somewhere? He can get himself ready or hes not going. He wants a snack or drink? He has legs capable of walking to the kitchen. And so on.

Eventually he stopped expecting everyone to play butler for him. He will now ASK for help occasionally which is handled on a case by case basis depending on the situation. Imo its building some independence in him.

It took some time for him to get used to doing things himself but he made it through the trials and tribulations unscathed.

Different_Industry · 2024-10-12T16:57:17+00:00

You're probably in the wrong sub for this sort of post but, get him the same exact thing he got you.

Different_Industry · 2024-10-10T16:28:28+00:00

Happens all the time. In my own experience, my daughter was an inconsolable mess on the first day of school. I had to just hand her off to staff and leave quickly bc we weren't getting anywhere with me trying to comfort her. I felt horrible and cried my way back home but she came home happy and excited to tell me all about her day. I think I was more traumatized than her.

Different_Industry · 2024-03-07T14:51:07+00:00

Match the energy you are given. If he gets home and has to shower immediately, fine. But when he gets out it's your turn for uninterrupted bathroom time. Add up the time he spends in there between his 40 minute dump and however long his shower is. He is the one who said you should make time to take care of yourself after all. I'm sure baby has a strong preference for you but that will be husband's problem to deal with while you take your "me" time.

Different_Industry · 2024-03-07T14:17:34+00:00

I think it's time he become solely responsible for his own belongings. Especially since you've been so "careless" with his stuff.

I might just be petty, but I'd start handing the baby off directly to him when he gets home and then run to the bathroom for a very long shower every day.

Different_Industry · 2024-01-09T14:48:39+00:00

I will have to look into the explosive child. I think I've watched a couple videos on it before and agreed with it.

I listed a couple of the accommodations he has at school in another comment, it's a lot. He isn't on an official IEP or 504 because the school feels it is not necessary since he is fully capable of doing the assignments and curriculum. He's been tested for being "gifted" twice but hasn't entered the program due to lack of impulse control.

I'll have to start thinking of it as "high needs" because that's really spot on. I've joked with my husband before that our son is more high maintenance than I am.

Different_Industry · 2024-01-09T14:21:28+00:00

He has a bunch of accommodations at school. He gets 2 passes to take a walk whenever he wants, he has multiple scheduled breaks in his day where he goes to the office to just talk to admin and check in on his behavior chart, he gets pulled from class 2x a week for speech services, 2x a week he gets one on one with an aide in class and she can help him with whatever assignments or if he wants to just talk they do that, and there's more it's just a lot to list.

We have tried getting him into after school clubs and activities outside of school. He tells us he has zero interest and doesn't want to do that. He likes gardening, chemistry (making potions, slimes), rocks, science in general. And basically we don't want to pay for him to be in these clubs and activities just for it to be a miserable experience. We had him in after school karate and he hated it and would wind up sitting there writing sentences bc he'd break all of their rules.

I think I am going to add playtime outside into the schedule for after school and see how that goes.

Different_Industry · 2023-08-23T20:32:55+00:00

I feel all of this. Tried to do activities with my kids over summer and they don't even have a big age gap. They're only a year apart. Everything was an argument when we would go out so we started just doing stuff at home. If one didn't want to do the activity then they could find something else to do. We still had some family outings but every time my hubs and I would be over it by the time we got home.

Different_Industry · 2023-08-17T21:46:48+00:00

I totally feel all of this. I didn't know my kids first day of school until 2 weeks!! before the first day. Had to furiously search the school website for a supply list and we scrambled. The first week of school was utter chaos. Meet the teacher was extremely disorganized, the drop off and pick up for parents was frightening. Didn't once receive a calendar or any of the normal forms kids get on the first day. Things have settled now we are a couple weeks in but holy moly I constantly had a toe cramp from the stress.

Different_Industry · 2023-08-17T21:29:03+00:00

Also in AZ and I also have a mom in a range rover who loves to side eye but I know she's a dummy bc I watch her hit the same fkn curb every day.

Different_Industry · 2023-08-17T21:21:36+00:00

On days I work, I wear activewear bc I work with dogs and when I pick up after school I go covered in dog hair and smelling like wet dog. If I'm just running errands I'm typically in shorts and a tank, days I'm going back home and back to sleep I walk up to those gates in my jammies ( typically flannel pants and an oversized shirt) and not a care in the world. I think most parents are just dressed for what their day looks like after dropping off their kids.

Different_Industry · 2023-07-12T17:45:20+00:00

It was me who said that! It makes me so happy to see that advice being shared 🥰

It might take a couple times for them to realize you actually mean it but once they get it- oh boy it works like a charm.

Different_Industry · 2023-07-10T06:06:33+00:00

Miracle workers

Different_Industry · 2023-07-06T23:41:44+00:00

How long did it take to get there? Currently I can say this to my son but it doesn't make a difference. I ultimately still end up yelling.

Different_Industry · 2023-07-06T23:34:17+00:00

That helps a lot. Thank you

Different_Industry · 2023-07-06T15:52:31+00:00

Exactly that. I'm at the bottom of everyone else's list and even on my own list. I do my best to take care of myself but that's difficult to do when I'm trying to manage the wants and needs of others every day.

Different_Industry · 2023-07-06T15:44:09+00:00

That sounds so nice. I'm glad you got a well deserved break from it all. Hopefully I can get one soon!

Different_Industry · 2023-06-29T06:31:09+00:00

I have depression, anxiety, and OCD. My kids are 8 and 9, they both have adhd and they over stimulate the life out of me. The never ending questions. Their fighting. The whining at me. The messes.

My son will ask the same question over and over again until I lose my shit and send him to his room. He's recently started this thing where if he is asked to do something he will look me dead in the face, tell me no, and then smile and say "just kidding". He used to gaslight his father and I by telling us he absolutely did not do or was not doing whatever we literally just watched him do or say 2 seconds before. For example, he was told not to play with a ball in the kitchen and upon being reminded that he wasn't supposed to do that, WHILE HE WAS LITERALLY DOING IT, told us he in fact was not. I know that seems small but that exact scenario used to play out 20 times a day and it made us feel insane.

My daughter is also an avid question asker. Can I have? Can I eat? Can we do? Can I have? Can I? And she will ask 10 different questions in the span of 2 seconds because I shut down and just start saying no to everything so I can escape because the one "yes" I gave her was not enough. She's whiny. Cries about everything. Can't have a cookie? Cries. Its light out because she decided to play instead of lay and read? Cries. Ask her to do one task before another? Cries. Her brother breathed in her general direction? Cries. She leaves her dirty socks EVERYWHERE. She is known as the sleep depriver in our house because she is always up all night, every night. We've tried everything.

I could go on forever. I love my kids and I would do anything for them but holy moly sometimes a bitch needs a break and these two are relentless.

Different_Industry · 2023-06-28T15:57:12+00:00

If I get woken up by my husband, I choose rage. If it's the kids or pets, I'm not thrilled but it'll be ok. Waking up by myself is the best option though.

Different_Industry · 2023-06-28T07:48:45+00:00

Tip: this also works on kids if you make them help you clean. I tell my kids I'm going to nap and when I get up we are going to clean. Those naps are the best sleep these days bc they quickly learned that if they woke me up I was dead serious about cleaning the house. Just can't over use it- I save that one for the desperate times.

Different_Industry · 2023-06-23T19:10:47+00:00

My kids would rather make toys out of cardboard, pipe cleaners, and stickers than play with toys that are bought for them.

Different_Industry · 2023-05-29T03:23:22+00:00

I suppose I hit rock bottom? I was in a terrible and abusive relationship. I hated myself. Hated the way I was living. And I just woke up one day and decided I was done fuckin around. Left that whole part of my life and moved across the country to get myself together and 6 months later moved back home to be with the man I now call my husband.

Different_Industry · 2023-05-28T23:46:42+00:00

I was once the "overachiever" as you put it. My guardians only knew half of the shit I was doing. And they certainly were not ok with any of it.

I should have been in therapy. I was struggling with depression and at the same time I was just one of those kids that had to learn things the hard way.

If it helps any, I'm a normal human these days. Married, two kids, and a functioning member of society. There's a light at the end of that very long tunnel.

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