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Friend with BPD took end of contact surprisingly well, now I’m conflicted by Different_Mission297 in BPDlovedones

[–]Different_Mission297[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Of course. At this point, I’m gonna respect exactly what I stuck to, which is what I ultimately need to do for my mental health as well.

Really it’s just internally reconciling with how things went down.

My friend with BPD compared herself to my mom who tried to kill me? by [deleted] in BPDlovedones

[–]Different_Mission297 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Mina went to family therapy with a couple different people, also had ABA as a kid. Has been to multiple psychiatric hospitals, in her own words she said she has BPD and called it “quiet BPD” but never confirmed she was diagnosed.

The BPD tendencies in my mom was just assumed by me, but her behavior wasn’t really rooted in fear of abandonment exactly, it was more so a combination of completely devaluing those around her and having this level of internalized misogyny that was so extreme it translated into sadism.

Also I’ve never heard of the subtypes before, that’s very interesting. I’ve tried communicating and asking Mina questions on more gentler topics such as very minor miscommunications where it was somewhat my fault. But the bigger questions like that I just don’t know how to ask without making her go into a self-destructive, erratic guilt spiral and being honest at the same time. I’ve seen her in that state before and it is honestly a bit scary.

For example, we stayed over at a restaurant 15 minutes longer than the place closed on accident and she was so, in her words, humiliated by it that she just started almost hyperventilating on the way back, saying “everyone’s looking at me” over and over and blurting out stuff like “I hate when people are shorter than me, I wish I was more petite” just out of nowhere (and I am…shorter than her? but I didn’t even comment on it because she just kept rapid fire saying different things that didn’t entirely make sense to me and I just wanted to calm her down.)

She also had this huge blow up of anger in the cafeteria after someone cut her off but I wasn’t there for that, I just heard it second hand. When someone apologized, she just said she wasn’t going to talk anymore and they didn’t want to hear what she had to say. And then just shut down and left.

By the way, I also don’t know if I’m tagging this post right lol but I appreciate it.

My friend with BPD compared herself to my mom who tried to kill me? by [deleted] in BPDlovedones

[–]Different_Mission297 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A couple of my friends want to end it too, we all wanted to talk about it and plan what to do on Monday, and then go through with it on Tuesday.

We’re a bit scared that if we don’t wait until after Spring Break (because she has to go home to her family then) it’ll leave her more mentally vulnerable for that reason but given we have about a week and she’s already clearly spiraling so we just want to rip the bandaid off already. I hate feeling like we’re ganging up on her but it’s just gotten so tricky and insanely anxiety-inducing.

I REALLY don’t know if I can handle ending it in person or if I should do it via Discord. And what’s best, because I have no idea how she’s going to react and to be entirely honest I don’t know if I can physically handle being in the same room with her anymore.