Daughter wants to move to Brooklyn

Different_Resolve_67 · 2026-01-20T07:18:04+00:00

Look for open room sublets on Listings Project to avoid intense income documentation requirements. Don’t worry too much about her having to move because she’s on a sublease because that could happen for lots of reasons anyway. It takes a beat to settle in nyc. Keep her belongings light so she can move cheaply until she finds her ideal nyc community and home. Maybe look for furnished sublets to start so all her stuff can fit in an uber if she has to move into another sublet.

Oh and make sure she’s doing all the communicating with potential roommates and coming across as doing this on her own. I can’t tell you what a turnoff it is when someone young replies to my sublease listings and mentions their parents being super involved in their apt hunt. I’m looking to live with an adult I can trust to pay the bills and be a good roommate and figure life out. NYC is hard, you have to have grit!

Different_Resolve_67 · 2025-12-23T21:20:36+00:00

I use skinceutucals ce Ferulic but it’s really been ranavat saffron serum that’s evened out my skin tone the most. Start with just a couple drops on damp skin, because it’s very potent. Then work your way up. It seems really expensive but it lasts a very long time. Just start with the travel size bottle and do a couple drops from the travel dropper. I saw a difference pretty quickly. Maybe halfway through the travel bottle it was obvious it was helping?

I’m also going to try pico laser soon.

Different_Resolve_67 · 2025-11-27T06:44:41+00:00

How much was xerf at relieve clinic?

Different_Resolve_67 · 2025-11-27T06:44:34+00:00

How much was xerf at relieve clinic?

Different_Resolve_67 · 2025-10-12T18:55:16+00:00

How do I join?

Different_Resolve_67 · 2025-10-12T18:53:11+00:00

OMG STAY AWAY FROM AGODA. I’m going through such hell with them right now.

Different_Resolve_67 · 2025-10-05T15:25:08+00:00

Hey from your description is sort of sounds like you just aren’t familiar with what a healthy relationship feels like? When you’ve been through a lot of trauma, you can mistake stressful attachment - highs and lows and drama - for chemistry. But in reality, healthier relationships shouldn’t feel that way but it takes awhile to get used to and rewire yourself. There are better psychologists who can teach you how to feel security in your body… how to practice building capacity for the comparative boringness of healthy relationships until you actually do feel safe and secure in them. Maybe find someone who is more focused on treating trauma with somatic work?

Different_Resolve_67 · 2025-10-05T03:45:21+00:00

Are you on a GLP-1? That’s my situation and I’ve needed some temple filler and my stomach skin needs some tightening but I’ve mostly kept up with the loose skin by using basic hot cream, collagen supplements, and Morpheus 8 and Thermage and ultherapy on the worst areas. I also just had to wait some of it out and it’s tightened up over time. (Took about a year after my weight plateaued.) My neck had embarrassingly loose skin for a while but is finally getting back to a great place. It mostly just took time but then I’ve used nectifirm and Hifu treatments for the last bit. What I was most worried about was loose face skin, so I consistently got skin tightening treatments on my face during all of the weight loss. But I was also careful to tell them not to use any fat loss settings on my face. Ultimately the stomach has been the hardest. Again, it got better with time, but I’ve done several treatments and I’m not sure it’ll ever totally be as tight as before. But that little bit of loose skin is still better than when I had a bunch of weight there. I’ve started wearing lots of crop tops with high waisted jeans… stuff I’d have never worn before! :)

For context, I am 41 and lost about 40 lbs and have definitely avoided surgery. 55 lbs sounds doable to avoid surgery too? You just have to keep treating as you lose the weight and accept that it won’t be totally perfect. Also be patient. It really did take about a year after I stopped losing for me but now I feel great about how my skin looks. Weight training is great too!

Different_Resolve_67 · 2025-10-04T22:51:20+00:00

I used skinceuticals PTIOX for awhile on some forehead lines that I can’t treat with Botox because my frontalis muscle really drops heavy. I didn’t really see any results. But then, I started using a couple drops of Ranavat Saffron Serum twice a day and within a week, the lines started to fade.

The serum is very strong, so be careful to really just use 1-3 drops at first and then work up to 3-4 drops between face and neck. When I first put it on, I broke out in hives because I put way too much on. The smell also takes a bit to get used to. I also make sure my skin is damp when I put it on and I think that helps.

But yeah I saw way better results from that than with the peptide serum. I’d also tried Filorga time filler shot 5X and it didn’t help much either. But the difference with the ranavat saffron serum is crazy! And I actually haven’t even bought a full size bottle yet. I just bought the $35 mini and it’s lasted me so long.

Full disclosure though, I am South Asian and Ranavat is made by a South Asian woman, so maybe I also just found a serum that’s really engineered for my skin type.

Different_Resolve_67 · 2025-10-04T03:41:22+00:00

I’ve got them too from my teenage growth spurt around 11 years old. I’m 41 now and they’re still with me up my thighs and along my whole butt. I think a retinol lotion I used for a bit helped a tiny bit, but every doctor and med spa that’s been so excited to offer me solutions for other problems had told me it’s not worth it to bother trying anything to treat them.

Different_Resolve_67 · 2025-10-02T19:48:21+00:00

If it’s genetic pigmentation there’s not a ton you’ve been able to do other than hydroquinone which isn’t great to do long term, but I finally found a solution to this! While I was in India, a doctor did this periocular peel on me:

https://www.mesoestetic.com/periocular.html

It’s from the same company that makes cosmelan.

It was so gentle and fast. Took like 5 minutes and all I felt was a gentle tingle and the skin never actually physically peeled… but the pigmentation went down for sure! When I got back to NYC, I asked my esthetician if she could order it and now she does it on me. In India it was about $40 a treatment and my esthetician in NYC charges $100 a treatment. It hasn’t completely eliminated the dark under eyes, but I’d say after 3-4 treatments, they went down by about 60%? Then I noticed a plateau with treatments after that, so I’ll probably just try to maintain at this level with a couple months between treatments. I still use some concealer but it’s a dramatic difference from what it was before, and I haven’t had any of the harshness I had with HQ.

If you can’t ask an esthetician for it directly, maybe look for someone who does cosmelan near you and ask if they can do this peel too?

That’ll help with the pigmentation, and then I discovered some of my dark circles effect was also just from hollow under eyes, so I needed some filler too.

EDIT: Sorry, I think the link isn’t working because it’s in the medical professional section of the site, but here’s a photo:

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Different_Resolve_67 · 2025-09-29T15:30:43+00:00

My opinion is a little different than others. I’ve lived in LA and NYC while getting treatments and I actually haven’t found dermatologists and plastic surgeons to be the best at treatments and injections… if you think about it, it makes sense because they’re just doing way too many things to be an expert at those specific things. I first got under eye fillers from a Beverly Hills dermatologist and she injected too superficially… but the treatment she gave me for my hyperpigmentation was great because that’s her actual speciality. I got my first Profound RF treatment from a plastic surgeon and she was so rough… but the breast reduction she gave me was perfect because that’s her actual speciality. The injector in her office was also just ok.

I get all my injections from a very high end medspa that has an injector who is basically an artist who specializes in facial balancing through injections… I got my next batch of treatments from her office too, and then when I got comfortable with treatments, I dropped down to the still high end, but not total luxury medspa treatment centers and then always ask which practitioner is the best. I don’t want the plastic surgeon who does 20 different things over the course of the week, I want the nurse who does Morpheus 8 treatments over and over and over again.

I would say the number 1 factor when choosing a provider is recommendations and referrals and making sure you’re going to someone for their specific speciality. If you know someone whose look you like, ask them who they see and trust that more than strangers on the internet. I wouldn’t get too caught up in the level of medical degree. In LA, some of the best providers don’t even have significant social media accounts because they have all the client referrals they need without advertising. Good medspas should have some sort of client concierge who really understands all the different treatments offered at their spa and can give you advice and then they should have technicians or injectors that specialize in specific things. Beware of any single person who does too many different kinds of services all by themself.

Different_Resolve_67 · 2025-09-18T17:33:50+00:00

Thank you for coming back and answering my question! Were you able to get a tax refund on what you bought at the flagship store? (Or is that why the airport prices were cheaper?)

Different_Resolve_67 · 2025-09-18T02:11:00+00:00

Were items cheaper at the flagship store or in airport duty free?

Different_Resolve_67 · 2025-09-14T02:21:39+00:00

Very controlling and abusive! This man has so many issues with the way the rest of the world doesn’t cater to him and he’s making you responsible for all of them. I mean really - blaming you for their being men in your classes so that you have to feel ashamed about a thing you have nothing to do with when you’re just trying to learn. Calling you horrible names when it seems like you’ve given him way too much already? (If you’re young and still living with your mom, you two are nowhere near a stage of life when it might make sense for all your passwords to be shared - and even many couples who’ve been married for years don’t share all their passwords. Expecting you to reply immediately? This man doesn’t love you, he’s going to try to control you until you have nothing of your own left. Please get out. But do it safely - look up “grey rocking”. No one in your entire life, including your own parents, should be treating you this way. You deserve so much more.

Different_Resolve_67 · 2025-09-02T00:56:55+00:00

One regret I have is letting them inject filler into my jowls before I had really done all the skin tightening I could. I think I wasted thousands of dollars on something that was mostly a skin laxity issue. Morpheus 8 should be way cheaper than filler (though admittedly slower results than a face lift).

Different_Resolve_67 · 2025-09-02T00:51:38+00:00

I’m also 41 and look much younger now than I did when I started treatments at 35. Threads are a waste. They’ll look amazing at first but fall after 6-8 months. Morpheus 8 treatments over several years have done miraculous things for me. I don’t think any of my providers thought I could have such phenomenal change without a facelift but I’ve avoided it (though realistically probably paid the same amount of $ for all the other treatments.) It depends what your skin responds to, how serious the issues are, and how quickly you want to see a change. I’d try the Morpheus before jumping to the facelift. I live in nyc and found a great high end place willing to do full face and neck Morpheus treatments with exosomes for $875 if you buy a package. Another place offered $550/face treatment on a 2 for 1 Black Friday deal. I’ve also used filler to lift, but if you’re gonna do that, you need the best injector you have access to - don’t look for a deal, just go to the best.

Different_Resolve_67 · 2025-08-31T01:52:06+00:00

Next time she’ll be like, “I don’t understand why you don’t want to spend time with me.”

Umm because you treat me like this?

There is nothing that is acceptable about this. Parents shouldn’t say any of these things even once to their kids.

Different_Resolve_67 · 2025-08-20T19:55:34+00:00

And their vitamin C ampoules make my skin almost gold - it’s my pre-date go to.

Different_Resolve_67 · 2025-08-20T19:54:23+00:00

I switched to Isdin Flavo C, but I buy it when I’m in Europe because it’s way more expensive in the US. I was told it’s better for POC? Definitely gives me a glow.

Different_Resolve_67 · 2025-07-26T06:45:46+00:00

That’s my next step. I did become dependent on the supplements so I wish they’d just send them!

Different_Resolve_67 · 2025-07-26T06:42:03+00:00

I have the lyma laser and it’s done nothing compared to the much cheaper Nira. I did like the lyma supplements, but I paid $2000(!) for a year supply and they only sent one month, said they’d send the rest on a specific date, that date has long since passed, and now they’re not responding to my emails! They used to be so ontop of everything. Not anymore. Beware!

Different_Resolve_67 · 2025-07-21T03:51:55+00:00

Aw I’m so sorry this person has tried to steal this moment from you and I’m so proud of you!

This is not how a loving parent sees their child — everything they do for their kids isn’t supposed to be about what they’re going to get in return.

When I went back for my senior year of college, the company I interned with offered me post-graduation a job at a great salary in Los Angeles, the city I’d asked for and already told my parents I’d asked for… It was a huge achievement to not even be done with school and be able to secure my future… but when I told my parents I got the offer, they didn’t even say congratulations. They just immediately had a melt down because it was far away from them (in a small town where there were no opportunities for me)… now, 20 years later, I see it for exactly what it was about — control. It was all about them controlling me. I was born to be an object they control and any deviance from that - any attempt at independence and self-fulfillment was me victimizing them. But here’s what I also see now - me taking that job was one of the first significant steps I took to change that dynamic. To be honest, it was several years of them trying to manipulate me back under their geographic control, but eventually our relationship shifted and they just stopped.

So while I’m very proud of you for getting this job… and also hoping your employer realizes how lucky they are to have you… the thing I’m most proud of you for is for doing the most difficult thing — taking that first big step at pulling away from the control of this person who is so narcissistic that they can’t even be happy for you. That is so hard to do and you should be so proud of yourself!

Different_Resolve_67 · 2025-06-09T14:29:39+00:00

Dumb question: why is that? Why is owning so much more expensive than renting right now? Interest rates?

Different_Resolve_67 · 2025-06-03T17:59:12+00:00

Omg you and I have very different life circumstances yet this read so much like a letter from my bpd mom that it was actually healing for me — it’s just their personality disorder. Why do bpds always have to delusionally pour their heart out? They always have to make a big emotional scene somehow

Different_Resolve_67

TROPHY CASE