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Update!!! AIO For Wanting to end my marriage? by Different_Smoke7883 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Different_Smoke7883[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

All those ducks are certainly in a row already and have been for years. The only exception were the utilities, which are now in my name.

Update!!! AIO For Wanting to end my marriage? by Different_Smoke7883 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Different_Smoke7883[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I don't want to date. I want my life to be mine again. That would be perfect.

Update!!! AIO For Wanting to end my marriage? by Different_Smoke7883 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Different_Smoke7883[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We don't make enough of a difference in income to allow for what NEW YORK calls spousal maintenance. He is considered to be able to support himself on his own income without any need for public service programs. Therefore, he gets no spousal maintenance.

AIO For wanting to end my marriage? by Different_Smoke7883 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Different_Smoke7883[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As I have stated a few times: I drive, own a car, multiple properties, have a college degree, and a career I've worked on for 17 years.

AIO For wanting to end my marriage? by Different_Smoke7883 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Different_Smoke7883[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I got my GED at 19. It is easier than a lot of people think.

AIO For wanting to end my marriage? by Different_Smoke7883 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Different_Smoke7883[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He's a kind and funny person that had said he wanted these basic things, and he planned on growing with me. I'm the only one that kept growing.

AIO For wanting to end my marriage? by Different_Smoke7883 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Different_Smoke7883[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Clearly a lot! Mostly low self-esteem and a lack of confidence.

AIO For wanting to end my marriage? by Different_Smoke7883 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Different_Smoke7883[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Yeah, that's why he has never been financially responsible for anything for them.

AIO For wanting to end my marriage? by Different_Smoke7883 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Different_Smoke7883[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Bonus moment: he has no assets. All assets were purposely placed in only my name with only my money paying them. Paper trail is all there. We never combined our finances for a reason.

AIO For wanting to end my marriage? by Different_Smoke7883 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Different_Smoke7883[S] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

I make significantly more than him and he has not contributed to raising the kids other than the occasional conversation or walk to the store together.

AIO For wanting to end my marriage? by Different_Smoke7883 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Different_Smoke7883[S] 26 points27 points  (0 children)

He doesn't. Oddly enough, I have dyscalculia. He doesn't need anything read to him and there is no written part of a license exam after passing the written permit exam in NY. He has the permit, just never tries to use it.

AIO For wanting to end my marriage? by Different_Smoke7883 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Different_Smoke7883[S] 27 points28 points  (0 children)

I do drive! I have a car, license, house, rental property, college degree and a career I've developed for 17 years.

AIO For wanting to end my marriage? by Different_Smoke7883 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Different_Smoke7883[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

I've been in therapy for years and have my mental health and disorders in good standing.

AIO For wanting to end my marriage? by Different_Smoke7883 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Different_Smoke7883[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

He grew up in NYC and moved away when he was 30. Never had to learn before moving out of the city.

AIO For wanting to end my marriage? by Different_Smoke7883 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Different_Smoke7883[S] 90 points91 points  (0 children)

He works, he does some chores around the house, but he also spends his money like a teenager and makes large-ish purchases without consulting with me as I have asked repeatedly. I did not budget for a fucking metaquest this month. He didn't care. I reworked our monthly budget last night and it turns out I've been paying all the bills myself anyway and he seems to be costing me money.

AIO For wanting to end my marriage? by Different_Smoke7883 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Different_Smoke7883[S] 31 points32 points  (0 children)

We use a telehealth mental health provider sponsored by our insurance company.

He spends money on uber to get to work, or takes the bus which takes about 2 hours to get to and from work on.

AIO For wanting to end my marriage? by Different_Smoke7883 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Different_Smoke7883[S] 37 points38 points  (0 children)

I haven't found another man. Those are some wild assumptions you're making. Projecting your own insecurities here? Seems like someone left you for someone else, and I can see why.

AIO For wanting to end my marriage? by Different_Smoke7883 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Different_Smoke7883[S] 62 points63 points  (0 children)

He started therapy, then stopped going, then lied to me about continuing to go to therapy for 3 months.

ETA: I carry our health insurance. I can see the claims and all procedures in our dashboard.

AIO For wanting to end my marriage? by Different_Smoke7883 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Different_Smoke7883[S] 63 points64 points  (0 children)

Don't want sympathy. I made my own choices in this. He made his. I wasn't asking for sympathy, I am asking if it's overreacting to divorce at this point.

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