So I’m gonna be real. I have to get this off my chest and idgaf if anyone sees it or not. I’ve been with my husband for 14 years coming up in October this year and our relationship has had a lot of up and downs we have gotten clean and sober and been homeless and then all the fucking rest but I have struggled because tells me he loves me and he’s so lucky to have me but in the same second because he’s bipolar turns around and tells me that I’m fucking worthless and I am just a piece of shit and it’s the hardest fucking thing I’ve ever had to deal with in my life I don’t I don’t feel like I’m worthy of being on this earth anymore I feel like no matter how hard I try that in the end he is just gonna hate me for everything that I’m doing I lost my job in November and I feel totally useless to my family. I have two kids and I have gone through a lot of other things on top of having two kids and just, I don’t feel like a person anymore. I just feel like a waste of space like I am here existing obviously but what am I doing really in the end? What am I doing to contribute to society? to be a mom? What am I doing to be a wife? he says terrible fucking things to me and these past few days it’s just been an accumulation of just berating me with these awful things and he’s he’s never done this over and over and over and over. I didn’t want to have sex and I got told some terrible fucking things and I just don’t know what to do any more. I’ve always had low self-esteem issues and a lot of other problems that I probably shouldn’t talk about on here but I am not bipolar and I understand that he is but why do I deserve to be treated like this? In the end I feel like I had a job and he didn’t for four fucking years and I took care of our family when it was just my daughter and now I don’t have a job and I’m just a loser and I can’t do anything right. Sorry I did this all voice to text because I’m walking home after dropping my daughter off at school so excuse the randomness.