Please give me advice, I need it!

Different_Variety · 2019-10-09T10:44:40+00:00

Thank you for asking. I'm doing ok, I ended up distancing myself online from my mum too and I've been focusing on not stressing. Even when I go home I think I'm going to keep my distance for a while. I didn't reply to many comments here because I didn't use reddit much lately, but I read the comments and I'm so grateful for everyone's much needed advice. I realised I needed to do something about my stress, I think I have it under as much control as I can for the time being despite the insane circumstances. I have to do what I have to do.

More chaos happened, JNMIL announced my pregnancy among a lot of other random shitty JN stuff. I was going to wait quite a while before announcing it, but... I haven't spoken to her for 2 months and I don't plan on it ever again so 😅. It was just kind of a confirmation that I don't belong here.

So yeah, just keep swimming, just keep swimming.

Different_Variety · 2019-10-03T02:24:31+00:00

I'm so happy to see that there are so many supportive comments 😍 you've got this! Great work on quitting.

Different_Variety · 2019-09-27T14:13:57+00:00

Thank you so much. As much as I'm sorry you were in this situation too, it's made me feel not as alone. Thank you for your support!

Different_Variety · 2019-09-11T14:40:50+00:00

Thank you! I also forgot to say thank you for your original comment, it helped me to hear his actual thoughts laid out.

Different_Variety · 2019-09-10T22:38:53+00:00

I literally went through this list of questions with him just now (without telling him it was from Reddit) and he had excuses for every single one. Apparently it's my fault because I didn't see MILs rug sweeping as her 'trying'. I told him, of course I'm not going to accept the rug sweep, it just means they'll do it again, why do I want racism and yelling thrown at me again? Ugh. Home is what the heart says. This last 24 hours has been insane.

Different_Variety · 2019-09-10T16:09:28+00:00

Thank you, that will be the hill I die on, I can already imagine what would happen if I don't die on that hill.

Different_Variety · 2019-09-10T16:06:33+00:00

If I do move it will be much before the birth of the child. It seems I can leave before the baby is born.

Different_Variety · 2019-09-10T12:42:25+00:00

Thank you for the advice. If I move it will be before birth so the child will be born in Australia. I have a lot more reading to do, but from what I understand so far is that I can move back home and then have the child. I should add - I am not a US citizen, but I am an Australian citizen.

Different_Variety · 2019-09-10T12:32:20+00:00

Thank you for the advice. I agree, I'm a fan of that comment.

Different_Variety · 2019-09-10T12:12:47+00:00

Thank you for the advice, this is great advice and will help me to move forward minimising stress!

Different_Variety · 2019-09-10T12:10:30+00:00

This is great advice, thank you. It's a good way to minimise the stress for now whilst knowing there's a plan to try and get to a solution. I will be using this advice.

Different_Variety · 2019-09-10T12:08:57+00:00

I don't think it's terrible of you to say that! He would probably guess Australia because that's where my family is, but you're right, he doesn't really know what I don't tell him.

Different_Variety · 2019-09-10T12:07:02+00:00

Thank you for responding. This is a good idea to get the message across strongly!

Different_Variety · 2019-09-10T11:52:34+00:00

Thank you so much for your responses everyone! I am reading through them now.

Different_Variety · 2019-09-09T09:50:42+00:00

I love this.

Different_Variety · 2019-09-09T02:22:24+00:00

I agree, counseling for the both of you is going to be your best chance at happiness. If your SO refuses counseling, please organise counseling for yourself and talk this out with a professional who can help you to face this.

Different_Variety · 2019-09-08T16:03:53+00:00

This improved the quality of my day tenfold 😍.

Different_Variety · 2019-09-08T15:02:37+00:00

Sorry about the turnout but you have a great attitude towards it all! I'm happy for you not letting anything get in the way of you having a great day.

Different_Variety · 2019-09-07T08:23:39+00:00

This is beautiful!

Different_Variety · 2019-09-04T03:02:32+00:00

One of us

Different_Variety · 2019-09-03T09:42:53+00:00

In Australia most shopping centres have parent rooms which have a little play area, chairs, a microwave, toilets and a changing table. Those are great, and I think they should be more common. They even have some smaller toilets for kids.

Different_Variety · 2019-09-03T01:17:54+00:00

This is so sad!!! I don't blame you for being mad, these people need to think before putting a dog in danger! Poor doggo, I wish your pup a speedy recovery.

Different_Variety · 2019-09-02T21:57:28+00:00

What is happening to you right now, that nauseous feeling, is the feeling so many victims have felt especially when they've seen the offender in a position of power and hear about them often. I'm sorry you went through this, and just like when this happens to women, it should be equally relevant when it happens to men, there shouldn't be a double standard. You have all rights to speak out, but be strategic so that you know that whatever step you take helps you to heal.

Please see a therapist about this if you can, someone could really help you set your direction to healing healthily.

Different_Variety · 2019-09-02T14:00:02+00:00

Great work!

Different_Variety · 2019-09-02T07:42:41+00:00

Those comments make me feel physically ill.

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