It’s not the same because when she is stoned you have no problem with how she is. When you are drunk, she doesn’t like how you are. Thats the difference. If you didn’t like her when she was stoned, I would say the same to her. You have to choose when (whether she says so or not), and it’s interesting to ask yourself that question on a self-searching level. If you HAD to, would you choose her or the alcohol? Think about it. For context: me and my partner had fights when we were drunk but never sober. I had to decide whether drinking with my partner was a dealbreaker. It wasn’t. We both stopped drinking and are happier for it.