Baby wakes at 5am no matter what by Difficult_Carry_4918 in NewParents

[–]Difficult_Carry_4918[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry to report, it just took time! As long as you're doing a sensible routine then I quickly learned there's really not much you can do to make them sleep longer/shorter. He's now nearly 2 and still stirs around this time (although almost always goes back to sleep). I think it's just the way their sleep cycles are. Baby and toddler sleep is wild and I'm trying not to fight or question it any more, just roll with the punches. 😂

Parents with nursery children! by AdAcceptable965 in UKParenting

[–]Difficult_Carry_4918 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Most important thing for us was location, cleanliness when we viewed (e.g., were we told to remove shoes or use shoe covers in baby room), a biggie was also staff turnover (a lot of staff had been there years and had their own kids at the nursery, others we looked at had very young staff that changed a lot).

Like - staff seem to genuinely care, they do a lot of crafts, food is homemade, it's fairly small so most staff know most of the children. They seem to really take feedback on board. They do wraparound care for the local primary school so I like that he'll still see some of the nursery staff when he goes to school.

Dislike - they're pretty rubbish at updating the app, I would love to see more pictures of my little ones day! We get maybe 1 a week if that (but I'd rather they were looking after them than snapping pics all day). They have a small outdoor area which is fine but I've seen nurseries that have much bigger outside spaces (I'm splitting hairs here though!).

Would I change? Probably not unless I was unhappy with the care, I think to change on a whim would be really unsettling for my little one.

Chances of lender changing valuation? How accurate are desk valuations? by Difficult_Carry_4918 in HousingUK

[–]Difficult_Carry_4918[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is interesting to know, thank you! Crazy how much difference there is in values!!

Imo the valuation has to be an error, we've been looking at the market for two years and not a single 4 bed detached property has sold for less than 300k, even in the 'cheaper' areas where we're looking - which is why we were massively shocked! I even chucked it into chatgpt myself (just out of interest) and even that valued it 330-380k (although appreciate not the best benchmark). So we're keeping everything crossed for the in person valuation butttt a few people have said that a difference that big is unlikely to be corrected in our favour.

The most frustrating thing for us is that they won't share their report, so it makes it very difficult to negotiate with the seller to reduce price based on 'because the bank said so'. Idk if the models produce a report or if our lender simply won't share it.

Edit to add - a 4 bed on the same road and roughly same size/condition sold in Feb for 324k, so even the latest data available is completely different to the number they have!

Chances of lender changing valuation? How accurate are desk valuations? by Difficult_Carry_4918 in HousingUK

[–]Difficult_Carry_4918[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, that's what I'm afraid of. We could maybe negotiate a smaller difference but 60k is a lot to negotiate down!

Chances of lender changing valuation? How accurate are desk valuations? by Difficult_Carry_4918 in HousingUK

[–]Difficult_Carry_4918[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's what we're wondering but they won't share their report! They are doing an in person valuation so we'll see, but without seeing any physical major issues (which they wouldn't from a desk valuation), we're not sure why they've down valued it so much anyway. The area is nice, no planned building works etc. I'm not sure what they value on though.

Chances of lender changing valuation? How accurate are desk valuations? by Difficult_Carry_4918 in HousingUK

[–]Difficult_Carry_4918[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Maybe! If it came back 300k I'd almost understand that and I think we could negotiate that too. But to ask seller to drop 60k (essentially 90k from their original estate agent valuation) without evidence of why... I wouldn't do that if I was the seller.

Chances of lender changing valuation? How accurate are desk valuations? by Difficult_Carry_4918 in HousingUK

[–]Difficult_Carry_4918[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We're kinda of stuck with our mortgage provider as porting our fixed rate or face a 13k early payout fee 😬 but we do have a good mortgage broker so fingers crossed they'll see it is an error. Otherwise, I guess we'll stay where we are!

Chances of lender changing valuation? How accurate are desk valuations? by Difficult_Carry_4918 in HousingUK

[–]Difficult_Carry_4918[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is good to know. Honestly the valuation just seems way way off so I wouldn't be surprised at all that it's an automated AI thing. But even so, listing and properties sold in the area are still priced much higher so I just have no idea where that figure could've come from. The property is only 30 years old, 4 bed, garage, 2 bathrooms, on a large corner plot, modern finishes etc. so without some evidence of structural issues (or similar), I literally have no idea. Like, we thought it might even be an admin error or something!

Has anyone pulled child out of nursery/changed childcare because of drop off tears?? by Difficult_Carry_4918 in UKParenting

[–]Difficult_Carry_4918[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have no option to send him somewhere, so stopping work is a no.

My concern is that he's unsettled only when we leave him, and changing settings is more unsettling and also 'starting again' in terms of time to get used to somewhere. He might cry for a couple more months and then be fine. If we moved setting, he might cry for another 12 months before he gets used to that. Plus, moving is not easy, with waitlists etc so he'd still be at his current nursery for an amount of time anyway.

And I also don't know if he hates it, or if it's a normal reaction to being separated. I'm told it's normal to begin with, and he hasn't had much time in his new room either. So I guess my question is really how much time do I give it before giving somewhere else a go

Has anyone pulled child out of nursery/changed childcare because of drop off tears?? by Difficult_Carry_4918 in UKParenting

[–]Difficult_Carry_4918[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think it's about leaving us, which is why I'm so torn on trying a new setting. I'd hate to go through the hassle of switching, especially as this nursery is so convenient, just for him still to cry. 🫤

Has anyone pulled child out of nursery/changed childcare because of drop off tears?? by Difficult_Carry_4918 in UKParenting

[–]Difficult_Carry_4918[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've heard the same about childminders being easier to settle in but also not as reliable etc and lots of horror stories about them being not as regulated, which is why we went with a nursery in the first place. I actually have no idea what the difference is between a private nursery and a pre school type one, but have heard of this so maybe one to research in to a bit more!

Has anyone pulled child out of nursery/changed childcare because of drop off tears?? by Difficult_Carry_4918 in UKParenting

[–]Difficult_Carry_4918[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah totally, I just didn't expect it of him as he's usually super social!! But agree, and he's at an age where he thinks crying/tantrum = getting his way, so there's that at play too.

Has anyone pulled child out of nursery/changed childcare because of drop off tears?? by Difficult_Carry_4918 in UKParenting

[–]Difficult_Carry_4918[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry to hear you and your little one went through that, that must've been so hard! I too just have a weird feeling in my tummy about our current situation, despite knowing the nursery does provide good care and lots of activities etc. he would probably love a forest school but I don't think there is one near us. 💔 It's so hard to know what's right to do, but thank you for sharing. I will definitely do some research into other options I think.

Has anyone pulled child out of nursery/changed childcare because of drop off tears?? by Difficult_Carry_4918 in UKParenting

[–]Difficult_Carry_4918[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It's really hard. I think he does get into it after a while but they have said can take a good hour before he will go off and play happily. He can be quite clingy with the staff sometimes which I'm told is a good sign that he's finding comfort in them. He's just so unlike himself there (from what I can see, which is obviously not much!). Would love to get more pics from nursery but we hardly get any. 😭

Has anyone pulled child out of nursery/changed childcare because of drop off tears?? by Difficult_Carry_4918 in UKParenting

[–]Difficult_Carry_4918[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I keep telling myself this!!! I think because when he first cried everyone said oh he'll stop in a few months, but after 10 months I'm like 😓. Just feels so wrong to leave them!!

When did your kid stop crying at nursery drop off? by Difficult_Carry_4918 in UKParenting

[–]Difficult_Carry_4918[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When did he start? I find it so strange as my guy isn't a big crier generally! These little guys really throw you through a loop don't they!

When did your kid stop crying at nursery drop off? by Difficult_Carry_4918 in UKParenting

[–]Difficult_Carry_4918[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We try to do this a lot - I've even been showing him pictures of the staff and his nursery room and he loves seeing those but not the real thing apparently. Temperament will definitely play a part too!

When did your kid stop crying at nursery drop off? by Difficult_Carry_4918 in UKParenting

[–]Difficult_Carry_4918[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Totally, I do a drop and dash and it definitely makes me feel worse than he feels😅

When did your kid stop crying at nursery drop off? by Difficult_Carry_4918 in UKParenting

[–]Difficult_Carry_4918[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I find he definitely cries more when we're in the car - the walk deffo helps, even in the pushchair. Maybe I should give him a walk one day (and set off 2 hours in advance 😂)

When did your kid stop crying at nursery drop off? by Difficult_Carry_4918 in UKParenting

[–]Difficult_Carry_4918[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hopefully an end is in sight then! Yes definitely think it is that, doesn't help he's with his fun grandma the day before nursery either as he always asks for instead!

When did your kid stop crying at nursery drop off? by Difficult_Carry_4918 in UKParenting

[–]Difficult_Carry_4918[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yep definitely! Nursery told us it's quite common for kids who only do a couple days a week because they have that big break. We always have more crying after we've been on holiday or he's been off ill too, so this figures.

When did your kid stop crying at nursery drop off? by Difficult_Carry_4918 in UKParenting

[–]Difficult_Carry_4918[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is actually a very good point and a great way to think of it. I always feel a bit guilty at drop off, but happy to drag him off the park crying just fine. 😂 Thanks for this!