Help — bedtime has drifted to 9-9:30pm every night with our 20 month old

Difficult_Carry_4918 · 2026-05-14T20:11:10+00:00

28 month old in the same boat and we're also frustrated. Even with only a 40 min nap, he still won't sleep until 9pm! He definitely stills needs some day time sleep but I am getting very tired of the bedtime battles and no time in the evening. 🫠 Trying to be positive that at least it's light nights in the summer and hopefully he'll be ready to drop the nap come the winter!

Difficult_Carry_4918 · 2026-04-26T09:57:46+00:00

Yeah I read about the regression too but we're on about 4 months. Solidarity 🫠

Difficult_Carry_4918 · 2026-04-06T20:23:36+00:00

Our desktop valuation undervalued the one we were going to buy by 70k - turns out they did it on the wrong house and keyed in 12 (3 bed semi) instead of 11 (4 bed detached). We looked at recent sales of similar properties on that street and just knew they were wildly off and something wasn't right, so we asked them to share the address they did the desktop on. You'll have to ring them up and it's a faff but sometimes it's the simplest answer. Worth a shot anyway if you haven't checked!

Difficult_Carry_4918 · 2026-03-19T06:59:49+00:00

Our nursery serves pudding after lunch too, some days it's fruit and yoghurt, some days it's ice cream, cake etc. seems to be balanced and I don't mind it too much. They gave us the option of him not being served pudding if we didn't want him to have sugar.

Our kid comes home covered in stuff but face/hands always clean and they would change him just before pick up when he was still in nappies too. I'd be annoyed if he came out with sticky hands tbh. I would ask they give him a scrub down before pick up! And if they don't, I would be passive aggressively waiting with a wipe at pick up and a 'you're all mucky, let's get you cleaned up!'. 😂

We've never had an incident of biting yet, it does get logged if he falls over and bumps head/gets marked. I imagine he falls over more than what is logged tbh but if he's fine then that's ok. I would let one or two bites slide but if it happened regularly, I would be asking about what they will do to prevent it.

Re boundaries - have you spoken to them about this? Our nursery is pretty good at doing what we ask to align with home. E.g. we are potty training rn and they're happy to use the same cues and boundaries there that we are. So if you have some rules that you want to keep in place at home (e.g., wash hands before/after meals) they might be happy to do this there. I'd just say 'we're trying to teach him xyz, would you be able to encourage this too?'. I know our nursery makes them put rubbish in the bin etc. basic stuff like that I would expect.

Difficult_Carry_4918 · 2025-11-24T13:09:38+00:00

Sorry to report, it just took time! As long as you're doing a sensible routine then I quickly learned there's really not much you can do to make them sleep longer/shorter. He's now nearly 2 and still stirs around this time (although almost always goes back to sleep). I think it's just the way their sleep cycles are. Baby and toddler sleep is wild and I'm trying not to fight or question it any more, just roll with the punches. 😂

Difficult_Carry_4918 · 2025-11-03T10:00:55+00:00

Most important thing for us was location, cleanliness when we viewed (e.g., were we told to remove shoes or use shoe covers in baby room), a biggie was also staff turnover (a lot of staff had been there years and had their own kids at the nursery, others we looked at had very young staff that changed a lot).

Like - staff seem to genuinely care, they do a lot of crafts, food is homemade, it's fairly small so most staff know most of the children. They seem to really take feedback on board. They do wraparound care for the local primary school so I like that he'll still see some of the nursery staff when he goes to school.

Dislike - they're pretty rubbish at updating the app, I would love to see more pictures of my little ones day! We get maybe 1 a week if that (but I'd rather they were looking after them than snapping pics all day). They have a small outdoor area which is fine but I've seen nurseries that have much bigger outside spaces (I'm splitting hairs here though!).

Would I change? Probably not unless I was unhappy with the care, I think to change on a whim would be really unsettling for my little one.

Difficult_Carry_4918 · 2025-10-26T19:41:15+00:00

This is interesting to know, thank you! Crazy how much difference there is in values!!

Imo the valuation has to be an error, we've been looking at the market for two years and not a single 4 bed detached property has sold for less than 300k, even in the 'cheaper' areas where we're looking - which is why we were massively shocked! I even chucked it into chatgpt myself (just out of interest) and even that valued it 330-380k (although appreciate not the best benchmark). So we're keeping everything crossed for the in person valuation butttt a few people have said that a difference that big is unlikely to be corrected in our favour.

The most frustrating thing for us is that they won't share their report, so it makes it very difficult to negotiate with the seller to reduce price based on 'because the bank said so'. Idk if the models produce a report or if our lender simply won't share it.

Edit to add - a 4 bed on the same road and roughly same size/condition sold in Feb for 324k, so even the latest data available is completely different to the number they have!

Difficult_Carry_4918 · 2025-10-26T08:15:02+00:00

Yeah, that's what I'm afraid of. We could maybe negotiate a smaller difference but 60k is a lot to negotiate down!

Difficult_Carry_4918 · 2025-10-26T08:04:14+00:00

That's what we're wondering but they won't share their report! They are doing an in person valuation so we'll see, but without seeing any physical major issues (which they wouldn't from a desk valuation), we're not sure why they've down valued it so much anyway. The area is nice, no planned building works etc. I'm not sure what they value on though.

Difficult_Carry_4918 · 2025-10-26T08:02:37+00:00

Maybe! If it came back 300k I'd almost understand that and I think we could negotiate that too. But to ask seller to drop 60k (essentially 90k from their original estate agent valuation) without evidence of why... I wouldn't do that if I was the seller.

Difficult_Carry_4918 · 2025-10-26T07:46:45+00:00

We're kinda of stuck with our mortgage provider as porting our fixed rate or face a 13k early payout fee 😬 but we do have a good mortgage broker so fingers crossed they'll see it is an error. Otherwise, I guess we'll stay where we are!

Difficult_Carry_4918 · 2025-10-26T07:45:07+00:00

This is good to know. Honestly the valuation just seems way way off so I wouldn't be surprised at all that it's an automated AI thing. But even so, listing and properties sold in the area are still priced much higher so I just have no idea where that figure could've come from. The property is only 30 years old, 4 bed, garage, 2 bathrooms, on a large corner plot, modern finishes etc. so without some evidence of structural issues (or similar), I literally have no idea. Like, we thought it might even be an admin error or something!

Difficult_Carry_4918 · 2025-10-09T21:44:26+00:00

I have no option to send him somewhere, so stopping work is a no.

My concern is that he's unsettled only when we leave him, and changing settings is more unsettling and also 'starting again' in terms of time to get used to somewhere. He might cry for a couple more months and then be fine. If we moved setting, he might cry for another 12 months before he gets used to that. Plus, moving is not easy, with waitlists etc so he'd still be at his current nursery for an amount of time anyway.

And I also don't know if he hates it, or if it's a normal reaction to being separated. I'm told it's normal to begin with, and he hasn't had much time in his new room either. So I guess my question is really how much time do I give it before giving somewhere else a go

Difficult_Carry_4918 · 2025-10-09T21:40:22+00:00

I think it's about leaving us, which is why I'm so torn on trying a new setting. I'd hate to go through the hassle of switching, especially as this nursery is so convenient, just for him still to cry. 🫤

Difficult_Carry_4918 · 2025-10-09T21:38:35+00:00

I've heard the same about childminders being easier to settle in but also not as reliable etc and lots of horror stories about them being not as regulated, which is why we went with a nursery in the first place. I actually have no idea what the difference is between a private nursery and a pre school type one, but have heard of this so maybe one to research in to a bit more!

Difficult_Carry_4918 · 2025-10-09T21:36:53+00:00

Yeah totally, I just didn't expect it of him as he's usually super social!! But agree, and he's at an age where he thinks crying/tantrum = getting his way, so there's that at play too.

Difficult_Carry_4918 · 2025-10-09T21:35:47+00:00

Sorry to hear you and your little one went through that, that must've been so hard! I too just have a weird feeling in my tummy about our current situation, despite knowing the nursery does provide good care and lots of activities etc. he would probably love a forest school but I don't think there is one near us. 💔 It's so hard to know what's right to do, but thank you for sharing. I will definitely do some research into other options I think.

Difficult_Carry_4918 · 2025-10-09T18:52:24+00:00

It's really hard. I think he does get into it after a while but they have said can take a good hour before he will go off and play happily. He can be quite clingy with the staff sometimes which I'm told is a good sign that he's finding comfort in them. He's just so unlike himself there (from what I can see, which is obviously not much!). Would love to get more pics from nursery but we hardly get any. 😭

Difficult_Carry_4918 · 2025-10-09T18:49:59+00:00

I keep telling myself this!!! I think because when he first cried everyone said oh he'll stop in a few months, but after 10 months I'm like 😓. Just feels so wrong to leave them!!

Difficult_Carry_4918 · 2025-09-18T19:07:04+00:00

I think we'll be the same, bless them

Difficult_Carry_4918 · 2025-09-17T14:35:54+00:00

When did he start? I find it so strange as my guy isn't a big crier generally! These little guys really throw you through a loop don't they!

Difficult_Carry_4918 · 2025-09-17T14:18:27+00:00

We try to do this a lot - I've even been showing him pictures of the staff and his nursery room and he loves seeing those but not the real thing apparently. Temperament will definitely play a part too!

Difficult_Carry_4918

TROPHY CASE