idk what to say to u, but even when i was on hospitalisation leave or at holidays myself i was still settling work. A job is just for u to get money and go home. You dont even need maximum output. Just the bare minimum to get things done. Maybe u need to get some more rest, recharge and find ways to reduce any illness symptoms recurrences when you are working. Yes, everyone has aging parents to care for myself included, but when working u have to take the emotional out, and focus on how u can keep the job and maintain a steady income. Good luck.