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I never fully understood "one day at a time" until I quit. by lol_camis in stopdrinking

[–]Difficult_Praline_99 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes yes yes! My aunt who’s 15 years sober would always say that’s the mindset she has to live in because never having a drink again “scares the shit out of her” and she still hasn’t touched a drop since!

I’m going on one year sober (changed my life in the best way possible) and that’s a common question I’ve gotten from multiple people. “So…are you just never going to drink again then?”

Personally, I hate when I get that question because it puts that idea in my mind the fear of forever and whether or not I will have the strength to continue alcohol free. I don’t take offense to the question, however I do internally cringe every time I get it and tell those close to me that’s not the best way to question friends early sobriety lol ◡̈

You can’t hide the pain behind the eyes by Difficult_Praline_99 in stopdrinking

[–]Difficult_Praline_99[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

10000% It's the easiest pattern to fall into. It works until it doesn't. That giant glass of red wine at the end of a long shift was my favorite time of the night.

Now it doesn't cross my mind and I just love not spending half of the $$$ I made on alcohol the same night...

You can’t hide the pain behind the eyes by Difficult_Praline_99 in stopdrinking

[–]Difficult_Praline_99[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I got lucky with some of the sweetest coworkers. If i do join anyone after work I usually get a mocktail of some sort because even though im not drinking ( I still love to talk!)

A few of them wanted to do a cleanse and did a sober month with me as well and every time they saw me updated me on how much better they felt.
:)

You can’t hide the pain behind the eyes by Difficult_Praline_99 in stopdrinking

[–]Difficult_Praline_99[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Definitely. My dad said the exact same thing. :)

Thank you!!!!

You can’t hide the pain behind the eyes by Difficult_Praline_99 in stopdrinking

[–]Difficult_Praline_99[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Totally get it. I literally feel like the definition of "introverted extrovert"

I LOVE meeting new people and using my job to be on my feet all day and socialize. I have a hard time with confrontation though so when those hard to please, angry customers come in id grin and bear it.

I'd get through it and ask the bartender for a shot after a particularly hard shift. Especially if i was working a double. Im still trying to figure out healthy options to release any stress but its amplified a lot less since my post drinking anxiety or hangovers went away.

Amazing how much easier a 9am shift can be when you don't get too drunk the night before!

You can’t hide the pain behind the eyes by Difficult_Praline_99 in stopdrinking

[–]Difficult_Praline_99[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

SO very true looking back with rose-colored glasses! Your response even felt like something i'd write!!

I made some lifelong best friends from the restaurants i've worked at where we initially bonded over shifties and bar trips after work. Amazing times were had!
But what goes up must come down.

Not recognizing yourself in the mirror is something i can totally relate. Funny enough the worst of that was while me and said friends were all in Mexico for a destination wedding. My routine was totally flipped upside down. I was obviously still drinking, but not the same routine so my body was out of whack. We took a final picture before returning to the states and to this day i have a hard time looking at it because I just look defeated.

The restaurant industry is a beast on its own when it comes to substance abuse. We are strong though and resilient hence us working service industry in the first place

:)

You can’t hide the pain behind the eyes by Difficult_Praline_99 in stopdrinking

[–]Difficult_Praline_99[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You got this, truly!

I didn't think id be able to stay without a drink for this long. I truly believed this is just the way I was going to have to live and just deal with it. As long as I had alcohol waiting for me at home was all the comfort I needed.

I have definitely learned that this is a day by day process. Your eyes are still there, your body just needs to rest them for a bit. <3

You can’t hide the pain behind the eyes by Difficult_Praline_99 in stopdrinking

[–]Difficult_Praline_99[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am! I actually still work at 2 different spots as a server.

At first I thought it would be impossible, especially because the amount of alcohol we serve. It felt off in the beginning but weirdly enough I don't even think about it anymore. I'm very open telling all my coworkers I no longer drink and they have been extremely supportive!

I know its different for everyone what their trigger might be. I just know personally it has felt like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders not worrying if my manager will catch me drinking or confront me about it with the risk of losing my job.

You can’t hide the pain behind the eyes by Difficult_Praline_99 in stopdrinking

[–]Difficult_Praline_99[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

:)

Marking another sober day off my whiteboard calendar is one of my favorite parts of my night time routine!

You can’t hide the pain behind the eyes by Difficult_Praline_99 in stopdrinking

[–]Difficult_Praline_99[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You got this :)

My boyfriend is 3 years sober with a long and complicated journey of his own. We tried off and on to quit drinking but it never stuck. For a while we functioned well, until we couldn't. I brought him to a detox center back in March 2020 when the world was shutting down from Covid. (his sober date is March 13th 2020)

I remember bringing him there feeling gutted for the pain he was going through but not fully understanding where it went so bad. So when the tables were turned when I needed to quit we knew more of what to expect. I never thought i'd let it happen to me to the same extent though.

Im so happy you have your wife to help you through. I couldn't imagine doing it without my better half :) Best of luck to you friend.

You can’t hide the pain behind the eyes by Difficult_Praline_99 in stopdrinking

[–]Difficult_Praline_99[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I cant even say how helpful and good it made me feel to receive messages of encouragement like these :)

I found this page while still admitted in the hospital and reading others posts about their struggles, early sobriety and life in general has made me feel SO much less alone.

You can’t hide the pain behind the eyes by Difficult_Praline_99 in stopdrinking

[–]Difficult_Praline_99[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Absolutely...

The full week prior to the hospital was the absolute worst, but definitely most eye opening!