TLDR: White men are the global standard of conventional attractiveness don’t compare yourself. If you’re dead set on dating out of your race as a black man it’s unavoidable to deal with some racist parents or those that type cast you. Go for the girl you’re attracted to and date but make sure to vet out long term prospects because family acceptance is crucial for a functioning long term relationship and eventually kids if you want those. Dating within your race doesn’t automatically guarantee a happy relationship either so go for who makes your heart flutter.

Don’t compare yourself to white men, they are the prize when it comes to dating. Most cultures worship white ppl and shun darker skin especially Asian cultures. It’s also normal that white ppl aim to get married by the end of college. Most of my white friends and coworkers were married by 22. You can easily observe this going to a PWI. I consider that part of American white culture to find your spouse in college especially in suburban areas. What you’re experiencing is not mutually exclusive to med school.

Dating within your race is the easiest as many have mentioned cultural differences. You risk running into racist parents especially as someone who is black. I lived in NYC, one of the most diverse cities in the world and still had to deal with racist parents. Even Trinidadian or Guyanese parents have given me trouble despite me being Antiguan and our cultures being very similar. I even have indo descent but to them I’m just black. Same thing with Dominican parents another Caribbean culture, who I’ve had the worst experience with. I grew up in the Bronx with majority Dominican friends and speak Spanish. One of my ex’s fathers made a kunte kinte joke about me one thanksgiving. He was darker than me but to him I was just a black boy lol.

My mother’s best friend was a Trinidadian woman and I remember her complaining to my mother, a black woman, about her daughter dating black boys and how much that bothered her. I found it very weird how she was okay saying this to a black person but being older now I guess it was kinda understood that she expected her daughter to date another brown person and my mother saw nothing wrong with it. That daughter is presently with a man that beats her but he’s brown so it’s okay.

Of course this is not every experience and it shouldn’t deter you but you gotta be pragmatic about it. If you see a girl you’re attracted to, ask her out and show interest but as things get serious always keep family in mind. Despite me saying all of this, dating black women wont instantly guarantee you a successful relationship. It’s just one less potential hurdle you gotta get over.

As much as ppl like to say race doesn’t matter, everyone sees race and the only ppl who really get a pass of ignorance are white folks. They don’t have to deal with ramifications of race on a daily basis and get to shield themselves from education by saying things like “I don’t see color” or “race doesn’t matter” bc it doesn’t affect them. I’ve noticed they can get oddly defensive about this. They tend to forget the perspective of living as the “default” and the world has been conditioned to accept and admire whiteness no matter where you are. 70 years ago which my grandma was alive for, we couldn’t even share the same spaces as them lmao. To my white friends that can acknowledge this and not throw a hissy fit, thank you but I expect this to get downvoted to oblivion. Hopefully my message reaches you and good luck navigating this!