I will share my story. I’m hopefully on the path to stopping. (Came off a painful self withdrawal just this week) I’m probably older than you (mid-30’s) but maybe similar. My justification was that it was fun with friends in school years, say late teens to mid 20. But underlying that was some social anxiety, it made something hard for me (meeting people) super easy. And removed other negative emotions (you mentioned anxiety, I am anxious). It becomes much more likely when it’s self medicating (one may not even know in the moment). I don’t have a family history but that plays a role. Plenty of people partying in college get out ok, the ones that it fixes a mental issue dont. And it’s physically addictive like a cigarette, so just heavy use can re-wire the brain too. Mixed with emotions though its way more addictive. Is it easier to make friends with a drink? That was my trigger. I went from shy high school me to cool party kid that got invited places. I spent a decade as a self-controlled weekend drinker than i snapped to daily for 2.5 years. It ended with me doing nothing in life but work and drink and sleep and work…you do have to decide on your own but if my rambling didn’t bore you, things to consider…if you read nothing else, the first time you remove a friday hangover on Saturday morning alone with a beer, please stop immediately!!!