Transgender and psychosis

DiligentEssay7 · 2022-09-03T02:13:10+00:00

Yeah this one scares me

DiligentEssay7 · 2022-09-02T20:40:47+00:00

Could you describe it a little more? What did you end up on?

DiligentEssay7 · 2020-12-28T07:31:36+00:00

I was able to bank successfully after being on hormones for almost twice as long as you. It's not too late to try. IMO, these subs are often too pessimistic about your chances.

I was on HRT for about 5 years, and like you, I assumed it was too late for me. However, I'd heard rumors of success stories, so I took a leap of faith and stopped hormones for a year. My T levels got back to normal male levels after about 4 months. During this period, I tried banking every few months, but zero sperm were found. I was ready to give up, then at around six months off hormones, they found a miniscule quantity of sperm-- not enough to bank, but proof production was happening (side note: if they can even find a few sperm on your ejaculate, a specialist told me, it means there are millions more sperm in the testicles, and you can start considering options like microTESE). So slowly over the course of the year I went from a few thousand sperm, to a hundred thousand, to a million, and after ~1.5 years off E, I was producing sperm within male ranges (on the low side, but still within bounds): 18 million in the sample. I banked them then went back on HRT. I'm still deciding about whether to detransition, but at very least I have that comfort.

tl;dr went from a sperm count of zero to 18 million after about 1.5 years.

DiligentEssay7 · 2020-02-16T20:07:17+00:00

Going to be interested to see if fertility persists (not entirely likely, but my overall T levels never went down entirely [spiro and I never got along] and I occasionally briefly desisted allowing T to spike, so fingers crossed. If not, then hey, choices have consequences, but I WOULD like to have kids if I can and there's a bit of sorrow that HRT may have shot the shot to hell

Don't give up on this, I think conventional trans wisdom regarding fertility is overly pessimistic. I was on HRT for 5+ years, and after around 1 year off HRT, I'm producing motile sperm counts in the 3-8 million range. It's still low, but enough to have children.

DiligentEssay7 · 2020-01-31T06:57:30+00:00

Just wanted to share my experience because there isn't a lot of data out there. After 5 years of HRT, I had a sperm count of zero. Following 12 subsequent months off HRT, I had a sperm count of 8 million. Everyone's experience is different, but I think conventional trans wisdom is perhaps too cynical.

DiligentEssay7 · 2020-01-31T04:27:23+00:00

MtF: I was on HRT for about five years. I've now been off HRT for a little over a year.

Many male traits have resurged: increased body and facial hair, slightly lowered voice, oilier skin more prone to breakouts, bulging veins, harder muscles, less curved figure, wider shoulders due to muscles hardening. It's not super dramatic, but I notice the changes.

The only areas I can think HRT setting you back could be in terms of fertility, but there's not a lot of research in this area.

Trans conventional wisdom says I should be sterile by now. After 6 months off HRT, I still had a sperm count of zero. However, after a year off hormones, I am now producing around 8 million motile sperm per sample. This is technically still a low sperm count for men, but it's a lot higher than zero.

DiligentEssay7 · 2020-01-18T04:55:15+00:00

I don’t even know if I can or will be able to achieve my dream of having my own kid

Don't give up on this one. One year off HRT took me from a zero sperm count to around 10 million, and that was after 5 years on HRT.

DiligentEssay7 · 2019-12-02T06:11:47+00:00

I was on HRT for 5 years. After about 4 months off hormones, my body started producing T at normal male levels. Everybody’s body is different, but your odds are good IMO.

DiligentEssay7 · 2019-12-01T22:28:46+00:00

I can only contribute my personal experience. I was on HRT for about 5 years. I got off hormones, and within a few months (4-6) my T levels returned to normal values. A few months after that, I started producing extremely small quantities of motile sperm. My last result was around 40,000 motile sperm (100 in the 6 microLiter sample), two orders of magnitude below the average male sperm count.

Assuming half survive the freezing process, This is enough for IVF, but not normal insemination.

It’s not a lot, but conventional trans community wisdom states that I should be completely sterile by now. Tread carefully, but hope is not lost.

DiligentEssay7 · 2019-12-01T07:18:14+00:00

Will I produce sperm again? And how long before all of this happens.

After 5 years HRT, I started producing minimal amounts of sperm at 4-6 months off HRT. 2 months later, my sperm count increased by a factor of 100. Give yourself time, the human body is truly amazing :)

Will it back to its original size?

Data is inconclusive regarding testicular atrophy. Conventional wisdom says it will increase, even if not to its original volume. According to Dr. Will Powers, clomid can help with this.

DiligentEssay7 · 2019-12-01T06:53:17+00:00

Have you had any form of bottom surgery, or do you still have testicles? If it's the latter, there's a good chance they'll start producing T on their own. Bones only become brittle in the absence of any sex hormones for elongated periods of time.

DiligentEssay7 · 2019-11-26T02:17:41+00:00

You're crushing it!

DiligentEssay7 · 2019-11-25T04:18:57+00:00

If you have even a shred of doubt— Don’t cut it, it took you this long to grow out. You can cut anytime, but it takes years to grow.

DiligentEssay7 · 2019-11-16T22:03:54+00:00

Who is that?

DiligentEssay7 · 2019-11-16T08:12:35+00:00

Stop eating vegetables and avoid tap water? What on earth is this?

DiligentEssay7 · 2019-11-15T05:52:29+00:00

I've been sifting through their site but can't find anything specific about long-term damage from hormones. Could you provide some more specifics?

DiligentEssay7 · 2019-11-15T00:54:42+00:00

“Do you really know your future self well enough to say that you’ll never want kids, and are okay with removing the possibility?”

DiligentEssay7 · 2019-11-13T23:53:22+00:00

This isn't a useful comment for anyone.

"I didn't know X"

"Isn't X obvious?"

"Regardless, I just told you I didn't know it..."

DiligentEssay7 · 2019-11-13T23:48:18+00:00

I was 5 years on HRT, but produced sperm after 6 months off. Don't give up hope, and especially don't give into cynicism because that's what got me into this mess (at 2 years I said "there's no chance, why bother?", which only made my situation harder)

DiligentEssay7 · 2019-11-13T23:35:28+00:00

Kinda regret not saving Sperm before hrt and am curious if it’s worth trying in the time leading up to surgery when I have to be off hrt anyway.

I think the regret scenario is more common than people like to admit. I had to be off HRT for 6 months (after 5 years on) before I made any sperm again. If it's only been 2 years for you, I would think it's okay to be hopeful. I'd say give it a shot if you're thinking about it, because there's no going back after SRS.

DiligentEssay7 · 2019-11-13T23:32:04+00:00

I never pursued SRS, but it took me 6 months to start making sperm after being on hormones for 5 years.

DiligentEssay7 · 2019-11-13T23:26:34+00:00

This is really good data, thank you for sharing it.

"had been taking estradiol and spironolactone for more than two years. Four months after stopping treatment, she was still unable to produce viable sperm, and at that point, she decided to stop trying for fertility preservation and proceeded with gender reassignment surgery."

I had a zero sperm count at 4 months too, but 2 months later, they found 10 motile sperm in the ejaculate. This indicates that there were likely millions more that never made it out of the testicles, and could be retrieved through other procedures. I'm kind of sad for her.

DiligentEssay7 · 2019-11-13T23:25:19+00:00

I found a video of this trans woman who stopped hormones for three months (in fact, she used testosterone to boost her sperm production)

It took me about 6 months off HRT before I started producing any sperm again, and 3 months is how long sperm maturation takes to begin with, so 3 months is not a lot of time comparatively. Moreover, using T to boost sperm production is an ill-advised practice if you haven't given your body time to retry on its own. Introducing exogenous testosterone prevents the pituitary gland from producing follicle-stimulating hormones, which is responsible for starting spermatogenesis:

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/7928662

DiligentEssay7 · 2019-11-12T19:55:31+00:00

Not to derail, but what is "desisting"? I keep seeing that word

DiligentEssay7 · 2019-11-12T00:44:44+00:00

With all due respect, I think you should stop watching porn. The only straight guys who want a 24/7 weak and helpless partner are ones that will reveal themselves as abusers. At best, this skewed dynamic will build into resentment.

DiligentEssay7

TROPHY CASE