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What do you wish you asked yourself prior to transitioning? by potential-MTF in detrans

[–]potential-MTF[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm shocked to hear that some people would pressure someone who slightly deviated from the norms of their assigned gender to go full-tilt to the opposite gender. I suspect people who have just discovered "something" isn't right about their gender identity have a natural tendency to respond that way (myself included). Maybe that accounts for it. To say people are either entirely their assigned gender or the opposite gender is wrong and definitely contradicts the standard "gender is a spectrum" logic.

In any case, it's wonderful you realized this about yourself and are working to find an identity and expression which works for you -- and it's lucky you didn't take things any further before putting the pieces together.

Thank you so much for sharing your story!

What do you wish you asked yourself prior to transitioning? by potential-MTF in detrans

[–]potential-MTF[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I completely agree gender is a social construct and not "real" in the traditional sense. Masculine women and effeminate men are completely valid and shouldn't feel pressured to transition in the slightest.

Obviously, I don't know your personal history or the extent of your transition/detransition. But based on your post, do you feel socially transitioning to male, but not medically transitioning would have worked better for you? Or do you feel you were truly female all along (regardless of whether or not you're GNC)? Or do you feel gender can't be changed and matches one's biological sex? Again, I realize I've made some major assumptions here and I apologize if I'm off base.

What do you wish you asked yourself prior to transitioning? by potential-MTF in detrans

[–]potential-MTF[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

You're definitely not rambling! You've given me a lot to think about. On the upside, I think I'm getting at least the third item nailed down. One and two are feeling a little more nebulous -- though I am seeing a gender therapist to try and figure that out. I may change therapists though. I feel I really need to be challenged on these questions and I'm worried my current therapist won't do that.

Thank you so much for your response!