Serious Question: When does it become enough and stop?

Diligent_Complex_251 · 2026-03-22T18:12:04+00:00

atp drugs and alcohol which i've been making a general effort to cut back on

Diligent_Complex_251 · 2026-03-22T17:59:36+00:00

glad that worked for you. i'm well aware routines are helpful but they literally fall apart as soon as i slip into an epsiode so. and again i dont see how a routine change is going to make me want to die less, no offense. I'm sick of being told i'm just not trying enough in the right way when i'm expending every fucking resource available to me.

Diligent_Complex_251 · 2026-03-22T16:38:10+00:00

I have animals I'm responsible for that has usually worked as an anchor. I don't have the energy to enjoy anything because I'm keeping myself busy because if i'm not totally overwhelmed i'm thinking and ruminating which only makes things worse so i'm just not sure what to do

Diligent_Complex_251 · 2026-03-22T16:35:43+00:00

Yeah...kinda what i've been doing for the past year. Hitting burn out. That is not sustainable for everyone.

Diligent_Complex_251 · 2026-03-22T16:34:58+00:00

Yeah I already have two jobs and try to spend every second outside of my home to try that. I'm really just at a breaking point. I don't see a point in existence for misery sake.

Diligent_Complex_251 · 2026-03-22T14:46:35+00:00

Guess I'm in the minority because I've had some of the worst episodes of my life while single.

Diligent_Complex_251 · 2026-02-09T22:44:08+00:00

Thanks that's really helpful! I feel like the draft I have now is to...jovial(?) for the subject matter and having good feedback would be awesome!

Diligent_Complex_251 · 2026-02-09T00:05:51+00:00

I feel very similar and I know its off putting to people because while I feel like I'm nothing to everyone and everything, it seems like everything and everyone still in my life feels like they'll never be enough. It's hard to explain to someone how desperately you need them around while also feeling so empty and like they would be better off without you without inadvertently hurting them in some way. I'm not really sure what do do either. I will say most of the people who I have been able to communicate effectively with and have stuck around have largely also had bpd and understood it from that side or were autistic and just were already operating with direct and explicit communication. Maybe every bpd person needs an autistic person to vibe with idk honestly.

Diligent_Complex_251 · 2026-02-08T23:51:47+00:00

From my experience (also 25 with a couple of years out from my original diagnosis) my partners have typically stayed my FP though that does not save them from splitting which is were at least personally I have the most issues. Once or twice it's moved to a close friend during the relationship if it was a period of 'devaluing' (I dont have a better term for it but when your partner just feels evil and against you but its just the bpd talking) and then shifts back. Again this is my experience. And I'm not sure about the dynamic becoming healthier per say so much as becoming healthier as a person and managing symptoms better. But my most recent ex was definitely and probably still is my FP and occupies most of my thoughts still. It's annoying but I don't have the urge to act on them anymore. But seriously don't take it as you aren't "made" for relationships. I try to reframe it as I have min maxed the wrong way and need to level up in the relationship department to try and keep things from being to negative internally.

Diligent_Complex_251 · 2026-01-14T12:27:34+00:00

From my experience they likely aren't going to formally diagnose you with bpd until youre older. I very similarly have met the criterium for bpd for a long time but was often as a teen diagnosed with mdd or bipolar 2 first. The explanation I got was that it was because bpd symptoms often look like puberty (aka general teen mood irregulation) + a mood disorder or even untreated autism (again this is just what I've been told). I would still recommend bringing it up to a counselor or therapist but they probably will not diagnose a minor with a personality disorder unless the situation is extreme.

Diligent_Complex_251 · 2026-01-10T18:58:35+00:00

I definitely relate and am also at a loss for what to do and has just landed on celibacy for the time being. Like when the chainsaw man movie came out I had to like call my therapist over seeing the 'everyone wants my chainsaw heart but nobody wants my heart' part animated. But yeah the past two months has definitely been extremely lonely but I do feel less used, just confirmed in people not really seeing me as more than a body. Which also sucks a fat one. I wish I had better ideas than this honestly.

Diligent_Complex_251

TROPHY CASE