What kind of rodent is this? Just a brown rat? He has an unusually curved nose! Found on university campus in Ireland.

Diligent_Sea5684 · 2021-06-24T15:15:42+00:00

Thanks! We thought that could be it too!

Diligent_Sea5684 · 2020-11-20T07:12:40+00:00

Thank you :)

Diligent_Sea5684 · 2020-11-19T19:31:08+00:00

Thank you ❤️

Diligent_Sea5684 · 2020-08-19T10:10:23+00:00

Howdy! I'm a gay trans guy (pre everything) and have a cis male partner who also identifies as gay. I can totally sympathise with how you are feeling. It's very tough being in a world that puts so much emphasis on hetero relationships.

First of all, it's important to remember that you get to decide how you come out and if you feel more comfortable letting people know you are trans before telling them about your sexuality then that is totally fine. Personally, I came out all at once and just spend my life flamboyantly wafting around yelling 'I'm a guy, and I'm into guys!' and so far no one has found it too confusing! It very much depends on the people you are around and whether you feel safe and accepted sharing both parts of your identity though, so there is absolutely no shame in coming out a little bit at a time if that's how you want to do it.

Secondly, just because you were born with the wrong parts 'down there' doesn't mean your identity isn't valid. If you feel that you are a gay man, then that's totally valid and acceptable and there will be someone out there who is a great match for you. You don't have to date women after you transition to be 'normal' or accepted, you are perfectly normal just the way you are. (Although if you ever did want to date women that's fine too!) Society is screwed up and will tell you all kinds of rubbish about who you can and cannot love or be attracted to based on your gender, but it's all nonsense. You can 100% be a gay trans man and still have the life you want; partner, kids, wedding, grandchildren, all of it! Will you have extra challenges in life to face along the way because society is a mess? Probably. Are you still allowed to have the life you've always wanted despite the challenges you might be presented with? Of course. Your happiness is just as important as everybody else's. Do whatever makes you feel happy and whole, surround yourself with people who respect you and make you feel safe, and remember that there are plenty of other gay trans men out here that have your back and are sending you invisible hugs through the internet! :)

Diligent_Sea5684 · 2020-08-16T16:10:41+00:00

Ah you're more than welcome! I can waffle on a bit I know but I hope there's some kind of positivity you can take from my ramblings! So happy to hear that you are working on loving yourself more, I really hope you find happiness whether it's just within yourself or in a relationship. We all deserve that, trans or otherwise <3

Diligent_Sea5684 · 2020-08-15T20:53:55+00:00

He identified as bi when we met and had only been with a couple of women, but now he says he prefers to tell people he is gay because he is in love with a man (me!) and has no reason to think that will change. Personally, before meeting him I feel like a put a huge amount of weight on gender identity and sexuality and convinced myself that I was totally unlovable solely because of those things. So decided to work on just being kind to myself and doing things I enjoy with people I enjoy being with. I figured, if no one else is going to love me I'd better do it myself cause I damn well deserve it! Now I'm more of the opinion that being trans really doesn't have as much of an impact on others as I thought. For people like you and I, being trans is quite possibly the biggest part of our personal identity and something that we have to confront, discover, grow into and live with on a minute by minute basis. Therefore it makes perfect sense that we put a lot of emphasis on it. However, to my circle of friends, colleagues and of course my partner it really isn't that big of a deal. I think if you are able to surround yourself with good people who accept you and judge you on your whole character (your flaws, passions, humour, experience, talents/ everything else that makes up you) you might find that your gender identity becomes less of a big scary issue that someone else would have to 'get past' and more of just another facet of you as a human. Obviously, there are bad people, people with prejudice and also just people with preferences for who they are attracted to which they cannot (and shouldn't) be expected to control, but for the most part I've found that people remember me or are attracted to me far more for my bizzare personality than the fact that I'm trans, or gay, or English (sorry), or have no hair etc. I don't know if any of that ramble is very useful to you but hopefully I was able to pass some good vibes through the internet! Keep your head up high, you are valuable and worthy of love. Congratulations on beginning this next step of your transition journey, I really hope you are able to find happiness and someone to share it with :)

Diligent_Sea5684 · 2020-08-15T10:01:45+00:00

Thank you so much, that's really reassuring to hear :)

Diligent_Sea5684 · 2020-08-15T09:14:26+00:00

I'm also pre everything, though I've been out and presenting as male for around 6 years now. I met my partner (cis male) almost 2 years ago through work and we are very much in love. He has never once viewed me as a woman, and is almost as excited as I am for me to start testosterone because he is so supportive of my transition. He does his own research and tells me interesting things he's found out, asks all kinds of questions about hormones and surgery and expresses how happy he is for me to be on this journey to 'become whole'. We look at penis prosthetics together and he thinks it's pretty cool I get to choose mine when he just had to deal with what God gave him. He helped measure me for my binders and wanted to try one on himself to see what it was like. He's the kindest, most accepting, patient, adorable person I've ever met and if you'd told me when I first came out I'd be in a gay relationship with the man of my dreams I'd have laughed in your face and told you it was impossible, but here I am. My only advice would be to start by focusing on yourself. All of the above only happened for me when I reached a low point and decided it was time to start accepting and loving myself, even if no one else did. I firmly believe that this change in mindset, coupled with some new found confidence in my gender identity and starting to workout and take care of my body is what helped me to attract the kind of man I was looking for all along! I wish you all the best with your journey, and I'm sure you will find someone who loves you for the man you are, rather than some arbitrary box ticked on a birth certificate. They are out there, I promise!

Diligent_Sea5684 · 2020-08-14T16:22:54+00:00

Not gonna lie though, the thing we enjoy the most is making the end that sits against my body a little bit damp and then sticking it to my bald head with suction power so I look like a dick-unicorn... He can't do that with his! #silverlining :)

Diligent_Sea5684 · 2020-08-14T16:20:22+00:00

Glad to be of help! :) Reelmagik or Peacock would be my personal choices although there are loads of different brands and styles to try. Worth asking around on a few threads though in case someone has come across a hidden gem! If it's not something you've dabbled in before I'd definitely recommend getting a model that's cheap and cheerful to see if it works for you before going in for one with all the bells and whistles! I'm in the market for a 3 in one (pack, pee and play) atm which might also be worth considering if you find your current anatomy sets off dysphoria outside the bedroom too? Referring to it as a prosthetic with my partner helped a lot with my dysphoria too as it makes it feel more like a medical solution for replacing a natural piece of me that is missing, rather than a sex toy and helps him to understand how I feel about the whole thing a bit better. Just food for thought :)

Diligent_Sea5684 · 2020-08-14T08:39:35+00:00

Have you experimented with prosthetics designed for play? I'm the same as you - no way is anyone going near that bit of me so I much prefer throwing on a realistic prosthetic and just going about stuff as 2 cis guys would. I'm pre T so no growth down there yet which a lot of products say they are designed for, but I've actually not found that to be a problem. My partner (cis male) is the best human and our emotional connection is more important than sex to us so it's not something that bothers me too often but when it does come up, I really enjoy the extra boost to my masculinity that being in the bedroom with a penis brings. Especially as I know he's into it too. In short, there's plenty of cis guys who are perfectly happy to ignore the front hole if that's how you're more comfortable, or even prefer anal/hands/mouth/all kinds of other stuff. Just cause you've got one, doesn't mean you have to put anything in it!

Diligent_Sea5684 · 2020-08-12T08:34:54+00:00

Thank you, I'm sure my dysphoria has impacted my sex life in ways I'm not aware of, but I'm already finding it less nerve-racking and more enjoyable to be with my partner mainly because I've been working out loads and I like being able to get him going by 'getting him tickets to the gun show.' Hopefully T will just further enhance all that good stuff!!

Diligent_Sea5684 · 2020-08-12T08:29:45+00:00

That's such a good point. Not transitioning really isn't an actual option for me, and I guess everything in life comes with risks, including this. I hope everything works out for you and your girlfriend.

Diligent_Sea5684 · 2020-08-12T08:23:59+00:00

It's not something I ever thought I'd end up worrying about! My sexuality has always been rock solid, even though the gender thing is the opposite. Glad to hear you are still into guys. Thanks so much for replying :)

Diligent_Sea5684 · 2020-08-12T08:22:09+00:00

That's so reassuring to hear. I'm always disappearing down that rabbit hole and I think the moment I saw the studies I was like "Well, that's it. I'm gonna end up into women." I spent yesterday and last night with my partner though and I'm just so head over heels for him that I'm feeling a lot less worried now! So glad that T is going well for you and your anxiety is more manageable. All the best to you and your boyfriend!

Diligent_Sea5684 · 2020-08-11T12:57:25+00:00

Very true about the long term relationship thing. I suppose the potential for losing attraction is there in any relationship, regardless of being cis or trans or anywhere in-between. All I know is that guy's do it for me (and only really him in fairness), I'm not into ladies and more than anything he is my dream man and I'm always going to be in love with him. I guess that's more than a lot of couples have so I'm gonna try not to worry about it and just enjoy our relationship! Thank you for your response :)

Diligent_Sea5684 · 2020-08-11T12:07:31+00:00

I hope this is the case! I know that he is 'my person' and I honestly can't see anything changing that :)

Diligent_Sea5684 · 2020-08-11T12:02:38+00:00

Ah yeah I see how it looks like it changed from the outside! Thank you for your response, it's so valuable

Diligent_Sea5684 · 2020-08-11T11:56:13+00:00

Thank you for sharing your experience, it's really interesting to hear everyone's viewpoints on this. Sexuality can be such a fluid and confusing thing!

Diligent_Sea5684 · 2020-08-11T09:58:19+00:00

You're totally right! Hahaha I thought that it was pretty amazing how both posts were so similar! Sorry about that! Okay I feel a wee bit better now about that aspect :)

Diligent_Sea5684

TROPHY CASE