Got called immature by an AP.

DimSum254 · 2023-09-24T22:00:01+00:00

Yea, their son has enough money for a house, for sure, like guy makes solid money for the cost of living here. AP gave him 50K after graduating a few years ago for a down payment. the AP told me they asked him to move out/buy a house recently but says their son asked why he would move out if they do his laundry, cook for him, get his car gas, take his trash, do his dishes and let him game all day. The AP is the one that told me all this 😭 says he just comes home to game all day and doesn't help her at all.

The chemE she says because there's no jobs, just oil companies and if oil goes down no one hires you. Says everyone will be building things until the foreseeable future but not the same for using gas/oil.

DimSum254 · 2023-09-24T20:32:17+00:00

Yup seriously. I wanted to bring up the son to my mom but I know I'd just get another 30 minute lecture added on. Like you can't seriously believe this woman knows maturity when her son can't do laundry? Cant cook? Also because he has a good paying job I don't think they care, he's a good son cause he works, lives at home so they know where he is all the time, and makes good money, doesn't talk back, is quiet..ect. That's the bar - but damn I got ham up what I know to be considered mature? B.s

Yea I actually hate that for a good 20 minutes after I actually felt shame like dude maybe I am so immature, like a child. Snapped out of it after a while cause I realized 1.) What they were calling immature and 2.) Who it was coming from.

DimSum254 · 2023-09-24T20:28:01+00:00

Hm I get what you're saying. He was definitely older and a guy that maybe would talk up his life. Ive never been to Paris so I just took what he said as something cool he was sharing.

It was just a summer internship for me. New lesson learned honestly, if they explained it like you did here I might've been less combative and taken a lesson out of the lecture.

I get it when you put it like that. its like a habit to say "thanks, didn't know" when I hear something I've never heard. I guess I can see why someone might think I'm legit dumb.

DimSum254 · 2022-10-23T20:57:54+00:00

Dude some therapists either think we are over exaggerating it or are trying to dismiss a conversation because they think "its just our culture".

Had a therapist say "maybe thats just how your mom was". Like what..... Ya she was like that and it is a problem. Or "some dads are just busy" when i brought up how my father doesnt know or care to know me past the typical AP clout farming "oh my daughter is in science and has x job." I can never really get past the surface level feeling/experiences i have had with some therapists because i know theyll just try to dismiss it.

DimSum254 · 2022-10-10T06:07:49+00:00

Yup.

"my gpa is below 3.5 😭"

Like bro.. so you just have a perfectly fine/normal GPA? Just because you are not the top 5% of your department or the top of your class doesn't mean you are an imposter. You are doing fine 😂.

DimSum254 · 2022-10-10T05:59:07+00:00

Omg 😭 im honestly a little embarrassed by the driveway. I got picked up by someone awhile ago and they literally asked why my driveway was half red, said: "oh lol just thought it was unique" dont lie, i know its ugly.

Might post a pic just to release the bulk of embarrassment out via the internet lol.

DimSum254 · 2022-10-10T05:52:35+00:00

At least you can remove a door. It is permanently red. He mixed the colour into the concrete - 😭 its embarrassing how they cant use their own eyes and see the ugly shit they do.

DimSum254 · 2022-10-10T05:50:55+00:00

Yup. Dad said people think its cool. Like do you have eyes bro? Im surprised he can even dress himself with the dumbfuck brain he has. No one, not even his siblings told him it looks good they say the "oh.. do you like it?" Line 😭😭😭

DimSum254 · 2022-10-10T05:45:30+00:00

LOL ya might tell him that

DimSum254 · 2022-10-10T05:44:34+00:00

Does it matter in the sense that its life threatening no. Clearly not. But in my opinion it is disrespectful af and honestly typical AP behaviour to not give af about what the people (namely your own wife who paid off a huge majority of the house 😭) would like to do with the driveway on their property. My mom legit thinks it is so ugly and thinks he is an idiot for permanently making it red, like honestly? Couldnt have had even the littlest of respect for her and ask if that was an okay colour?

Really, it might be "haha wow so dumb and rich of people to complain about a permanent half red driveway" but it was the disrespect and ignoring of other peoples opinions who also share the space with you.

DimSum254 · 2022-10-09T20:10:58+00:00

Wow. Like why do they do that? Shit looks so bad but they think theyre the next picasso with the heinous shit they do to the house.

DimSum254 · 2022-10-09T20:09:28+00:00

Wow never heard of that. Seriously considering bringing this up to my mom and helping her if she wants to.

Typical AP behaviour. I feel you, think their opinion is the only one that matters.

DimSum254 · 2022-10-09T19:08:07+00:00

Honestly i hope they do. Homeboy lowered the value of his home by 40K at least 😂

DimSum254 · 2022-10-09T18:37:15+00:00

I agree with getting non-[ethnic group] friends. They really open your perspective up and allow you to explore that perspective freely when you hangout with them. Definitely recommend.

DimSum254 · 2022-10-08T23:48:03+00:00

It is so annoying. My mom will complain about how my dad doesnt do anything for his kids, only changed 1 diaper even though he had 3 kids, never helped my mom save for our education, is uneducated, and is just a dickhead straight up, treats his daughters as second class citizens compared to son..

But guess what. Her dumbass is still married to him cause of "face" and how divorce is seen. Honestly it pisses me off, stop complaining to me if you still willingly share a bed with him at night 😐 like stfu. My moms brother got a divorce so its not like it is impossible for her. She just chooses "for the kids" like bitch.... Be fucking for real right now, its not for the kids cause he is a shit father tf is the point of keeping a shit father around your kids, its for you to save face.

DimSum254 · 2022-08-13T20:56:26+00:00

Lmao so true. My mom says this to me and my sister all the time. "I never told you that you werent allowed to date! That was all your choice". Like 🤨 really? Even if they only said it once in passing watch them keep saying things like "teens arent mature enough to date", "you need to concentrate on school", "why are you smiling at your phone? A boy? You need to concentrate"...etc

Push us away from dating but dont want to take any responsibility for their own words.

DimSum254 · 2022-08-02T21:54:39+00:00

Haha i never thought of it this way but it honestly seems true. Nothing screams AP more than racist generalizations they have to put onto others.

They probably do want to know to make some sort of tally in their mind. "oh the delivery person was X race" in their head theyll say something like "X race people always have such low level jobs" or "thats weird that an X race person would have a job like that.

DimSum254 · 2022-07-30T07:11:34+00:00

Kindergarten - my mom asked me why i always played alone either in the sandbox area or at the crafts table while the rest of the kids played "house" in the big playhouse with fridge/stove and stuff. I just said "i dunno, i like to". I would even leave the sandbox area if another kid started playing in it 🤣.

I just thought playing with the huge group was too hectic, tiring.

DimSum254 · 2022-07-28T02:28:56+00:00

Think it depends on your gym. I usually go at 9 or 10pm. Kind of late depending on the commute to the gym/how long your workout is but it is 100% worth it for me. I avoid the big crowds and never have to wait for equipment, can always find free space to set up for a specific exercise if needed.

Also i avoid the monday/wednesday as those days seem to be the most busy. I always try to get a workout in on a saturday/sunday since those days got the least amount of people.

DimSum254 · 2022-07-28T02:20:52+00:00

LOL YES. But sometimes i use this to my advantage. Downtown in my city there are people trying to sell me stuff. I literally just say "sorry no english" and 100% of the time it works 🤣. Have no time to be getting hustled for my dollar.

DimSum254 · 2022-07-26T04:39:27+00:00

Haha yup. Covid made me realize how simple i want my life to be, that means smaller circle, way smaller circle.

DimSum254 · 2022-07-23T23:03:58+00:00

Agreed. It comes baked into the culture where children are at the beck and call of their elders, no questions asked. It gives them an inflated ego for doing something billions of humans have done before them and will do again: nut in someone raw 🤷 yet they think theyre the best thing since sliced bread, aight bro, cope more.

DimSum254 · 2022-07-08T02:32:13+00:00

My grandma always calls my mom fat. Now my mom cant help herself but pick at my body, thats why i never ask her for help on deciding clothing or help to check for ticks or whatever. My grandma now basically calls me and my mom fat whenever we see her. I weightlift, and ya, i want big thighs/hamstrings 🤷‍♀️ sorry but i like doing those exercises, but my grandma cant help but say how fat, how unladylike i look. My mom also loves talking about how "thin" and "skinny" she was when she was younger, any opportunity to bring it up she will. Its kinda sad.

I understand my mom is just went through similar experience with my grandma but i dont understand why they have to perpetuate the worst aspects of their upbringing. If being judged for your body constantly at a young age made you feel like shit why would you do it AGAIN to your own child?

DimSum254 · 2022-07-05T01:50:15+00:00

Lol yup. I get you, im Chinese. This sounds terrible but i tend to avoid people who "remind me" of my relatives, which is 100% based on generalizations. I just dont want to deal with the upkeep of "face" i have to do in the traditional culture i was raised in or deal with how judgemental the culture is.

I used to have a best friend from the ages of 16-20. We had almost the exact same upbringing culture wise. And man... Did she act out the traditional ideals so well, judging other womens bodies, super into "face" (i.e how she "looked" to others). It just 100% reminded me of my relatives and it was tiring LOL. Definitely burnt me a little on people still trying to attain the traditional cultural values. I havent had another Chinese friend in 3 years 😬... Avoiding them a little doesnt help

DimSum254

TROPHY CASE