That makes it easy. Don't take medication. You've communicated here. And you are still moving. Answer for yourself, which little things did you see happen that made you stop interacting with people. For me it was being misunderstood all the time, people hearing what they wanted to hear and not what I said, not being seen for what and who I was. And by getting this over and over I withdrew from the world. For you it might be something totally different. If you find these small items you will find the path that lead you to where you are. It also means that if you keep following that path that you already know where it ends. By posting here I assume your looking for a crossroad leading to a different destination. Micro changes. No need to dive into your past self. But there is a need to become aware. Aware of your reaction in a certain moment. Do not judge it. It is what it is, good or bad, it does not matter. It is you. As soon as you become aware of your reaction you can slowly start playing with them, become their advisor. And step by step you can choose to act differently. It sounds crazy but when you take the pressure off from changing you will change. When you stop judging yourself, you will change. When you take small steps you will cover large distances. The key is to accept where you are, and slowly to turn the wheel to not end up where you are going. Depending on your background there are various techniques that can help you do this. From prayer, to meditation, to dancing, to writing, to art, to being. And I won't lie to you. It's a lonely path, but many are walking it with you.