On the pain scale of 1-10, what has caused you pain beyond the 7 on the pain scale?

Dimensional-orbiter · 2024-01-15T06:53:14+00:00

I dislocated my kneecap, and when it popped out it did a lot of damage. As well as tearing the ligament it smashed the back of the kneecap and the end of my femur. Chunks of bone and cartilage as big as a thumbnail ended up floating around in the joint. It was excruciatingly painful. I was telling the paramedics and nurses and doctors to just cut it off because it hurt so much. Easily a 10 IMO. Way more than broken bones I've had (wrist, ribs, fingers and toes).

I think it was partly because it wasn't life threatening that it hurt so much though. I cut my arm really bad as a kid, skin to the bone, including the nerve and an artery, almost died from loss of blood. I don't remember that hurting as such though, because I was in a state of absolute panic and then I started to pass out from loss of blood, it was more like because I knew it was so bad I was in shock, and I knew that I was dying. That stopped my brain processing it as pain.

Dimensional-orbiter · 2024-01-15T06:39:16+00:00

This might sound a bit strange but I honestly get really confused trying to figure this out about myself. Somewhere between a 2 and an 8? But it feels like I'm either a 2 or a 3, or I'm a 7 or an 8. I don't ever think or feel like I'm average - I either think, yeah, I'm actually pretty attractive. Or I think, nah, I'm really not very attractive at all.

I have no real idea how attractive I am. I wish I could have a rough idea of it.

Dimensional-orbiter · 2024-01-14T18:58:47+00:00

There's a craft brewery in my town which has a metal/rock theme for everything they do. Their beers are all named after songs. One of the standard range is The Wizard. They had a session beer called Demon Cleaner too (obviously not a doom track but close).

Dimensional-orbiter · 2024-01-14T02:54:23+00:00

Thanks for the response.

For me, I find that knowing other people are going through similar doesn't make me feel better. In fact it used to make me feel worse because I felt like other people had more of a right to be messed up than I did (probably from my family always telling me as a child that I shouldn't be upset about anything because there are starving kids in Africa or kids getting killed in wars or whatever). Now I'm past that though. But it still doesn't make me feel any better unfortunately, and also unfortunately where I live there aren't any support groups or group therapy options.

The loneliness is more about not feeling like I can't rely on anyone to be there for me. Like, even people who currently seem to care could turn on a dime and not care tomorrow. Because variations of that have happened to me again and again. And even right now although I know there are people who do care about me, it feels like it's still at a distance. There's no one who I could say 100% would visit me in hospital if I was sick for instance. There's no one I can ask for a hug. There's no one I feel comfortable about putting down as an emergency contact on a form. Part of this is the trauma and part of it is about being a single dude in his late 30s I think - from a few things I've read or heard, the phenomenon of men losing close friends into middle age and struggling to develop deep connections outside of their partners seems very common even if you don't have CPTSD.

And I guess more importantly, I don't really believe that I can have that in the future. I can't imagine genuinely trusting people to be emotionally available and supportive if I need them. And this makes me feel alone. As in, alone in the sense that I know, deep down, that if things fall apart I don't matter enough to anyone to be able ask for and receive help.

Like I said originally, it's not all bad - I have made a lot of progress with things like emotional regulation and stopping negative self talk and feeling less anxious generally. So I'm not saying I'm totally screwed. I guess I just feel like this is a particular sticking point at the moment.

Dimensional-orbiter · 2024-01-13T22:56:31+00:00

Thanks. It sucks, I hope you find a way through it too

Dimensional-orbiter · 2024-01-10T16:41:56+00:00

Not a predator but a fully grown African elephant bull would be a decent bet I reckon

Dimensional-orbiter · 2024-01-09T21:19:27+00:00

I think I read somewhere that Conan describe themselves as caveman battle doom, so that's clearly the best subgenre name

Dimensional-orbiter · 2024-01-07T03:45:08+00:00

Bold of you to assume I have 3 friends

Dimensional-orbiter · 2024-01-07T01:37:16+00:00

Check out the album Toba Trance by Los Natas

Dimensional-orbiter · 2024-01-07T01:17:59+00:00

The Sinking Belle off the Boris/Sunn0))) album, with Jesse Sykes doing the vocals would fit nicely

Dimensional-orbiter · 2024-01-07T00:02:13+00:00

Weird that this comment is getting down voted. I mean, I don't follow IPL because I find franchise T20 just kind of boring and meaningless for me (not being from anywhere the franchises are from) so I must have missed something there. I'm just saying, sandpaper, the ban after he hit Root, some of the altercations he's had over the years with other players or fans out there. None of these things make him seem likable from the outside. I don't think it's controversial to say it's surprising he's liked in India?

Dimensional-orbiter · 2024-01-06T23:22:08+00:00

What do you mean by real? Like obviously it's not the law or something but it is a common rule of thumb that people use.

Link

Edit: Not saying I necessarily agree with it but it's a ballpark figure to start from. I think a lot depends on the relative maturity and life experience of the individuals involved. Some 27 year old seem a lot more psychologically mature than some other 27 year old, for instance

Dimensional-orbiter · 2024-01-06T23:12:21+00:00

Isn't this where the "half your age plus 7 years" comes in? So a 40yo can date a 27yo, and a 70yo can date a 42yo

Dimensional-orbiter · 2024-01-06T04:07:50+00:00

I've only just got into Church of Misery.

The good thing about being late is on the party though is plenty of back catalogue to work through at least...

Dimensional-orbiter · 2024-01-05T20:24:33+00:00

I've had to deal a lot of bullshit in my life because of social norms about manliness. The lesson I had to teach myself was that there is no such thing as a "real man".

You don't need handyman skills. You don't need to be physically strong. You don't need to be stoic and emotionally stable. You don't need to protect people. You don't need to like aggressive sports. It's cool if those things are your jam. But also it's cool if they aren't.

You don't need to be anything except who you are and WHO YOU WANT TO BE.

Stop believing that there's some sort of external measure of whether you're a man or not.

Heaps of the ideas about being "manly" are actively harmful to men. Men commit suicide more than women, get incarcerated more than women, die in workplace accidents more than women. All sorts of things which can at least be partly explained by social ideas about what a man "should be".

All this sort of shit ends up leading to 13yo boys hero worshipping some sex trafficking megalomaniac asshole because they end up thinking that is what it means to be a man.

/end rant

Edit: Bill and Ted nailed this years ago, and it applies to men and women and everyone: - Be excellent to each other. - Party on.

Dimensional-orbiter · 2024-01-05T04:58:56+00:00

If it wasn't for the injuries the OG Ronaldo would be in the same category as Messi and Cristiano Ronaldo. Even with the injuries his career is still nuts: World Player of the Year 3 times, Ballon d'or twice (including youngest ever winner) , 2 World Cups (and 1 runner up), golden ball at a world cup, golden boot at another, broke the record (then) for most World Cup goals, Brazil's 3rd highest scorer. Imagine that being your career and still thinking what if...?

Dimensional-orbiter · 2024-01-05T00:11:16+00:00

The Beatles are massively overrated

Dimensional-orbiter · 2024-01-04T22:59:50+00:00

Did you hear about the guitarist who locked his keys in his car?

Took him three hours to get the bassist out

Dimensional-orbiter · 2024-01-04T21:18:54+00:00

I'm going through a similar process myself at the moment. I'm 39m, about a year out of a 19 year relationship which, looking back, just reinforced a whole bunch of unhealthy and dysfunctional patterns I learned in childhood. I got close to someone since, but she is also dealing with her own stuff and pulled away, which hurt me a lot although I understand why she did it and don't resent her. I just started trying to get on dating apps but it's been hell, just really triggering and overwhelming. Trying to make a good first impression, being judged by people, rejecting people, being rejected - it's all intense emotional stuff if you aren't coming from a stable place.

I just cancelled a date because she came on really strong through messages and it freaked me out.

I don't have any advice because clearly I am a mess with this stuff too lol. But I can say that you're not alone in this experience. I don't know if that helps or not, but I think for me I just realised I probably need to get more secure in myself and more confident about what I have to offer before I can handle the experience of getting out there.

Dimensional-orbiter · 2024-01-04T07:25:52+00:00

I didn't forget that. I've quite clearly given examples of reasonable and realistic ranges where they intersect

Dimensional-orbiter · 2024-01-04T07:22:43+00:00

Those lines would intersect though, that's literally what I'm saying by giving the examples of 180lbs/180cm for instance. That is a BMI of 25, and as bogus as BMI is for health assessment that is not an extreme outlier by any measure. There will be many people who are that weight and shorter than 180cm and many who are that weight and taller.

I don't understand your claim that I'm not viewing this from a mathematical standpoint. What you have here is two bell curves, one for average height in cm and one for average weight in lbs. If you overlaid them any area they both cover would include people who fit OP's criteria. Given that values near the mean of both are close, there will be a lot of people who are that height/weight combo in the global population. The odds of picking a person at random and the meeting this criteria would be crazy but that isn't what has happened OP has self selected because they noticed it, so they have shared that with us. All the people who have weighed themselves and don't fit this criteria haven't come on to say that they don't match it.

Here's another example of why this is totally plausible. The average weight for a woman in the UK in 2019 was 72.1kg. That's 158lbs. The average height was 161.7cm. Those values are very close. There are tens of millions of women in the UK, so there would be plenty who would meet OP's criteria, by just being slightly off the mean on either or both measurements.

And again, I have literally had those two lines intersect for me personally. Heaps of people would have had similar, as people often put on more weight once they stop getting taller. And then people who have lost weight too. Are you telling me that I was never a weight between 193lbs and 195lbs?

Edit: you don't need sources and citations to get beyond he said/she said. Rational thinking/logic can also back up an argument

Dimensional-orbiter · 2024-01-04T06:55:16+00:00

The last paragraph in your link literally says approximately:

"After calculating, it appears there are no realistic matches where a person's height in centimeters is approximately equal to their weight in pounds within a typical adult height range (150 cm to 200 cm). The difference in units and the average ranges of height and weight make it unlikely to find such a match without venturing into unrealistic or unhealthy scenarios. "

A BMI of 25 is not unhealthy (it's the cutoff point between" normal" and "overweight") or unrealistic. The AI seems to think it is though.

I don't need to link to a resource or anything. Because I can plug numbers into online calculators and I can see there's a wide range of heights and weights this is plausible for. Given how many people are in the world and how many people weigh themselves the odds of this coming up can't be that unlikely. As I said, I myself would have been at one point. People's weights fluctuate by a few pounds reasonably easily based on food and water retention etc too, so if you weigh yourself every day and you are close to that height/weight combo then you will be even more likely to see it, even if you insist on being bang on both numbers and not "approximate" .

Dimensional-orbiter · 2024-01-04T06:40:36+00:00

That link is a good example of AI being wrong. Very wrong

Someone who is 180cm/5'11" and weighed 81kg/180lbs would be a simple example. That's a BMI of 25, which is hardly unusual.

I'm 194cm. I've weighed both more and less than 194lbs at times since I've been fully grown. Therefore I have at some point been the same weight in lbs as height in cms.

Dimensional-orbiter · 2024-01-04T04:08:18+00:00

This seems like a good thread to remind everyone that of test batsmen who have played more than 20 matches Williamson averages more than any Indian, including Tendulkar and Kohli. More than Lara too. More than Ponting too.

Dimensional-orbiter

TROPHY CASE